Bloomberg Backpedals Ass Comment, Claims 'I Never Said It'

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Might not love big butts after all.
Earlier this week, we told you about New York magazine's cover story on Christine Quinn, in which writer Jonathan Van Meter reported that Mayor Bloomberg said, "Look at the ass on her," while admiring a party guest.

But now, the mayor denies that he said anything of the sort. The Observer reports that, when asked about the off-color comment, Bloomberg stated, "I never said it, and I don't know where it came from." He also told a reporter, "That's an outrage for you to say," when asked if this was just another incident in his long history of sexist comments.

He did not, however, retract his compliment to Joe Biden's balls, which he commended for their sturdiness and duality.

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Falling On My Ass At the High Line Roller Rink After Hours

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Esther Zuckerman
At the roller rink birthday parties of my youth there were always the people I like to call "the show-offs." They would skate laps around everyone, do tricks and put the rest of us, clinging onto the railing, trying to stay upright, to shame.

I was prepared to meet some of these people when I headed out to the High Line's new roller rink for their first Saturday night 21+ skate.

Instead, I met Dr. Dan (sometimes called "Dangerous Dan").

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Volunteer Football Coach Fired by Humorless School for Mooning Opposing Team

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Let this be a lesson to you: If you pull down your pants, even in fun or during a very dramatic football game, even if you get laughs, there will be penance to pay. A volunteer assistant football coach at Boys and Girls High School in Brooklyn has lost his job over mooning opposing fans after his team lost.

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Barack Obama Possibly Has Blessed 'Buns of Steel,' Is Definitely Still an Ass Man

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File this one somewhere under Things You Didn't Know You Wanted to Know About the 44th President of the United States of America: He may very well have Buns of Steel. Yes, this is regarding the Executive Ass.

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What's Up The Jews' Asses on Yom Kippur?

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Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement for The Jews -- of which New York City has many -- is coming at this city faster than a first-time Brooklyn Tornado. For some Jews, it can't come fast enough -- funny, because The Jews fast on Yom Kippur -- which has something to do with why some Jews in New York are reportedly putting things up their asses before Yom Kippur. Sound sacrilegious? Well, it's not.

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Introducing Big Booty Theater Seats, Booty Jamz, and the "Summer of Ass"

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For every action, there's a reaction -- as Americans get fatter, theater seats get wider. New York City Center is one of many performing arts centers around the country that are increasing seat width and providing more leg room so that people can take their big booties to the theater without an uncomfortably squished bum. They started a renovation project in April to accommodate our average increased hind-width, which has gone from 19 inches to 21 inches over the course of the century, according to the Wall Street Journal.

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Is 2010 New York City, America's "Summer of Ass"?

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The times, they change. The ebb and flow of the universe is simply something to be generally understood as such, and nothing more. For every action, there's an equal reaction. And for every physics law, there's a metaphysical plane to apply it to that generally shows its face when you look at it from the right direction at a certain point. Like this one. From behind. In other words:

In 2009, New York City, and the rest of America had the Summer of Death.

In 2010, New York City, and the rest of America has the Summer of Ass.

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