Four-Year-Old Chinese Girl Drives a Car [VIDEO]

The above video appears to show a 4-year-old girl in China at the wheel of a car. She is navigating a relatively busy street while her parents can be heard instructing her. Like the smoking baby before her, there is sure to be much outrage about this child exhibiting the dangerous behavior of an adult. Before that outrage erupts, can we take this time to acknowledge that she does a pretty good job merging? [h/t @stevesilberman] [@nickgreene]

Delancey and Essex Intersection Is A Hell Zone

Here's a warning sounded by the Daily News today: The intersection of Essex and Delancey street is pretty much the worst place in the city to walk or drive a car or get in a taxi or do anything. Just, like, try not to go there, okay? It's scary. It's where Satan would be like, "Hey, this is a good place to cruise around in my fiery red automobile." Here are some of the horrifying statistics the Daily News compiled from state Department of Transportation records: Between 1998 and 2010 there were 523 motor vehicle accidents, 134 with bicyclists and pedestrians, three resulting in death. The intersection also yielded 258 injuries resulting from motor vehicle accidents. Proceed with caution. [NYDN]

Hit-and-Run Asshole Leaves the Scene of Accident, But Gets Caught on Tape

Neighborhood favorite Joey Boots took his camera down to the scene of a Bronx car accident last night just to survey the scene. Everyone appears safe, though a little shaken, while one of the cars involved, a Corvette, has its whole front end smashed and the battery removed. But that -- nor the camera in his face -- stops him from peeling off before police arrived. In addition to the footage, no less than three people took down his license plate number, all but assuring he'll be caught and putting his karma at an all-time low. [via Animal NY]

Texting While Driving Is Now a $150 Fine in New York

Can we just say it, all together? If you're driving, you should not be...drinking; texting; sexting; eating; putting on makeup; reaching around to slap someone in the backseat, even if they really are getting on your last nerve; applying Vaseline to a watermelon; wishing your hard-of-hearing uncle a happy birthday; rummaging for your lucky rabbit's foot in the glove compartment; painting your fingernails in alternating neon colors; puffy-painting a sweatshirt as a gift for your niece; practicing calligraphy; cutting your bangs; vacuuming your floormats; pretending to drive without the use of sight; seeing how many water balloons will fit in the hatchback; playing Angry Birds; practicing that monologue from Hamlet; recording your first solo album; baking a cake and frosting it; reading the bikini wax instructions; having a baby (unless you really can't help it); putting your feet out the window to feel the rush of wind against your heels; walking your Pomeranian. As for the second one, Governor Andrew Cuomo just signed a bill that will let cops pull you over and fine you up to $150 for that sort of thing. Take the bus instead. [NY1]

Bystanders Lift Car Off Pinned Harlem Boy

Four people in Manhattan yesterday saved a life and gained a story they'll likely tell for the rest of their lives when they helped lift a Honda Civic off of a little boy stuck underneath. Jaden Torres, either 9- or 10-years-old depending on who you believe, was playing in Harlem's Grant Houses at around 7:30 p.m. when he ran across the street and was hit by a taxi, the impact of which jammed him under the bumper of a parked car. "He had a pulse," said a pediatrician who helped Torres at the scene, "but he was completely unresponsive." Then a group of strangers went into hero mode. "I wanted to talk to him just so he knew someone was there," said one woman who stood by as the car was lifted. Torress was sent to Harlem Hospital in stable condition. [NYDN, NYP]

Did You See a Giant Banana Driving Around NYC Today?

Behold! A car shaped like a banana, seen driving about the streets of New York City. Steve Braithwaite and his brother Spade (a/k/a "The Dirty Brothers") are the proud owners of the Big Banana Car, inspired when Steve glanced at a bowl of bananas at a gas station and thought, "I could build a banana car!" he told us. And so he did, taking a 1993 Ford F-150, removing the sheet metal, building the skeleton shape of a banana over the engine and suspension, covering it all with chicken wire, and sculpting it into a banana shape. An airbrush artist painted the banana for free. Because it's a car shaped like a banana!

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Teen With Learner's Permit Hits Nevins Street Subway Station

Learning to drive can be an embarrassing experience. One or both of your parents is in the car with you clinging to the armrests for dear life, you are being cursed relentlessly by surrounding drivers, and your mistakes are very public. That's why we kind of pity this kid who crashed into the Nevins Street subway station in Brooklyn yesterday. The teenager was driving with his father on Flatbush Avenue when he, according to the New York Post, "lost control, jumped the curb and smashed into the railing and sign."

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Barack Obama's Bomb-Proof Car Has Embarrassing Moment at U.S. Embassy

Here is a sort of adorable video of President Obama's car getting stuck as he leaves the U.S. Embassy in Ireland today. First he's dropping his Blackberry all over the tarmac, then he falls prey to a stealthy driveway slope? Such a regular guy, except for that leader of the free world/killing Osama Bin Laden part. The crowd's screams of horror when the car gets stuck are especially endearing. Noted: This car is reportedly called "The Beast" for its bomb-proof capabilities.

There Are Six Lexus Taxi Cabs in New York City, But They're Only for the Cool Kids

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New York City has just six Lexus taxis. That's out of over 13,000 cars, with most being Ford Crown Victorias. The Lexus RX 400h or RX 450h hybirds cost over $40,000, with a typical cab hovering around $28,000 -- but there's actually no financial incentive for having a nicer yellow car. "But cachet?" the New York Times reports today. "Most definitely." Come on, guys, grow up.

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Chrysler Drops F-Bomb on Twitter, Fires New Media Consultants

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The struggling automakers of the United States have taken to Twitter for a little boost in popularity, hoping to humanize their brands. This week, that down-to-earth realness became a little bit too real when someone behind the official @ChrystlerAutos account tweeted, "I find it ironic that Detroit is known as the #motorcity and yet no one here knows how to fucking drive." The message was quickly deleted, but not before some oh-so-shocked followers (see above) retweeted the message. The company behind Chrysler's social media presence will not have their contract renewed.

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