Catholic League's Bill Donohue Seems a Little Nervous About Actually Marching in the Gay Pride Parade [Updated]

Bill Donohue, whose face always looks like that.
One-man outrage machine Bill Donohue, president and evidently the sole member of the Catholic League, has asked for and received permission from the NYC Pride March, a.k.a. the gay pride parade, to march with them in June. Donohue says he wants to hold a banner with the words "Straight Is Great." Bill Donohue has a lot of time on his hands. But we suspect he's not actually going to march in the parade. Join us, won't you, as we march resolutely down this rabbit hole of trollery?

Update, 5:30 p.m.: We're psychic! The full update's at the bottom of this post.

Donohue is well known for his opposition to gay marriage, though he'll often insist, not super convincingly, that he has nothing against gays. His request to march in the pride parade is, as you might have guessed, a response to this year's St. Patrick's Day controversy, when Mayor Bill de Blasio and a large contingent of the City Council declined to march because the St. Pat's folks don't permit openly gay people or groups to participate. Donohue argues that the St. Patrick's Day organizers have every right to exclude whatever group they wish, and is one of those calling for a boycott on Guinness to protest their decision to pull out of the parade.

Fine. Great. But Donohue's next move -- asking to participate in the pride parade, in the apparent hopes that he'd be turned down and could be outraged at the Hypocrisy of the Gays -- has not gone quite the way he expected. Now, he's in the awkward position of having to actually march in the Pride Parade. This is going to be great.

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The Westboro Baptist Church Is Coming to New York To Yell About Duck Dynasty, St. Patrick's Cathedral

Image via.
A WBC member parodies Duck Dynasty.
It's been a little while since the Westboro Baptist Church made it all the way up to New York. The Topeka-based church/family/professional lawsuit-filing operation has been busy elsewhere, picketing funerals, football games, and whatever else might give them two seconds of attention from the larger culture. One of the last times they were in New York was to picket an LGBT synagogue in 2011, thus wiping both gays and Jews from the face of the city. (Our office has been very quiet ever since.) They came back later that year to protest same-sex marriage, another social movement that just hasn't picked up any steam.

But it appears the church has been drawn northwards once again by the Duck Dynasty debacle. After Phil Robertson, the star of the "reality" show, was briefly suspended last week for telling GQ that homosexuals are "illogical" and black folks were "singing and happy" during the Jim Crow era, Westboro stepped up to show their confusing, hate-tinged brand of support.

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Catholic League President: Brutal Treatment of Women at Ireland's Infamous Magdalene Laundries Is "All A Lie"

Bill Donohue, whose face always looks like that.
So, what's perpetually aggrieved Catholic League president Bill Donohue mad about this week? Is it gay people? Is it the "bizarre" notion of gay people getting married? Is it all those gay priests sneaking into the Catholic Church (who are the real problem over there, in Donohue's mind anyway, rather than all that child abuse)?

The man has a bit of a theme, is what we're saying. But Donohue switched gears yesterday, taking time away from his busy schedule of gay-hating and light art criticism to declare, bizarrely, that Ireland's infamous Magdalene Laundries were "a myth" and "a lie."

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Obviously Cardinal Dolan Is Really Pissed About Cuomo's Abortion Bill

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A few weeks ago, we wrote a post entitled "Cuomo's Women's Equality Act Brings The A-Word To New York State Politics." The headline basically tells the whole story.

It focused on the brewing controversy evoked by a tiny stipulation in Cuomo's new bill that calls for writing Roe v. Wade protections into state law - an immediate reaction to anti-abortion provisions being enacted in statehouses across the country. It's the only part of a ten-point bill that's aroused widespread opposition, led by Senate GOP leader Dean Skelos of Long Island. Because, duh, it's abortion.

In New York, Republicans' frustration on social issues is only surpassed by the Catholic Church, which holds a firm stance against abortion. So this should be no surprise: Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the man who informed his followers in 2009 to totally disregard federal and state abortion laws, is not a fan of the Women's Equality Act.

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Paying Off Pervert Priests: Was Cardinal Timothy Dolan Just Being a Good Catholic?

Earlier today, the Voice brought you news that Cardinal Timothy Dolan paid pervert priests up to 20 grand as "incentive" to get them to leave their posts when he ran the Archdiocese of Milwaukee.

Here's the thing: Dolan, according to Catholic law, might not have been doing anything wrong in authorizing this payoff. In fact, the canon might characterize this decision as being "a good Christian."

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Cardinal Timothy Dolan's Pervert Priest Payoff: What Does This Mean for U.S. Catholics?

When Cardinal Timothy Dolan ran the Archdiocese of Milwaukee, he said OK to paying pervert priests up to 20 grand as "incentive" to get them to leave their posts.

A report in the New York Times, using info from that Archdiocese's recent bankruptcy filings, notes that Dolan gave the greenlight for payments: "to sexually abusive priests as an incentive for them to agree to dismissal from the priesthood."

Back then, he vehemently rebuffed any and all allegations of doing anything like that, calling such claims: "false, preposterous and unjust." Alas, a spokesman for Milwaukee told the newspaper that payments did take place so priests wouldn't contest defrocking, a process known as "laicization."

Now, there seem to be a couple of problems involving the policies of America's top Roman Catholic cleric.

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Nuns Gone Wild: Here Are Some More Catholic Sisters Who Rebelled Against The Vatican

American nuns have been helping poor and sick people too much, so the Vatican has appointed a strict supervisor to the Leadership Conference of Women Religious to make these liturgical ladies behave.

And as the Voice reported yesterday, the Conference has since shot back at the Church, slamming Catholic leadership for failing to address longstanding concerns over child molestation. They're protesting today in front of St. Patrick's Cathedral, and hope that their pray-in will prompt Cardinal Timothy Dolan to demand a retraction from the Vatican.

But this isn't the first time in recent history that nuns have openly rebelled against the church.

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Nuns Help The Poor And Sick Too Much, Says Catholic Church

The Vatican thinks that nuns are wasting their time on human rights and social work -- you know, typical helpful nun stuff.

Instead, the Catholic Church wants America's nuns to spend more time doing things that don't typically help people, like telling them not to have premarital sex, according to USA Today.

That group of nuns -- the Leadership Conference of Women Religious -- has shot back at the Vatican, and is planning to protest in front of St. Patrick's Cathedral in Manhattan on Tuesday. They want Cardinal Timothy Dolan to ask the Vatican to take back this criticism.

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Cardinal Dolan Comments On Contraception Politics

This Easter Sunday was not free from politics and controversy for Cardinal Timothy Dolan, who in addition to giving a sermon at Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral today, appeared in a segment that aired on CBS' Face The Nation. In the interview Dolan weighed in once again on the nation's contraception debate and the president's coverage mandate. "I don't think religion should be too involved in politics," he said. "But I also don't think the government and politics should be overly involved in the church. And that's our problem here. You've got a dramatic, radical intrusion of a government bureaucracy into the internal life of the church. That bothers me."

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New York's Reproductive Health Act: What You Need To Know

It's Cardinal Timothy Dolan Week (no, really), and the conservative Catholic leader has certainly not let the eponymous 7-day shindig go to waste.

Dolan made the rounds in Albany on Monday, where he and other top Catholics made clear their anti-abortion and anti-pedophilia prosecution positions.

The church top honcho emphasized his opposition to the Reproductive Health Act, which basically makes state policy "up to date" with Roe V. Wade.

("America's Pope" said that the pedophilia measure, which would extend the statute of limitations for sexual abuse cases, would irreparably drain church coffers.)

If you were a little confused why New York -- a state with very pro-choice policies -- would still be debating abortion, not to worry.

Though the Empire state was the first in the union to decriminalize pregnancy terminations and remains one of the most pro-choice places in the U.S., reproductive health advocates want to fix a few legal loopholes that might undermine choice.

Runnin' Scared has put together a very brief guide explaining what this is about.

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