The crazy born-again Baldwin brother Stephen, a contestant on Celebrity Mole Hawaii, Celebrity Mole Yucatán, Celebrity Apprentice and I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!, told conservative radio nut job Alex Jones that he'd consider a run for mayor if his big brother Alec does. (He won't.) "I'd say Alec probably has an edge on me in NY," Stephen said. And in Hollywood, too. "New York is a funky place brother. It's got a lot of people, lot of opinions, it's a melting pot, they're from all over, and they want what they want. It ain't easy being Stevie B. in NYC," Stephen said with great wisdom. Because none of this is really about politics, this seems as good a time as any to mention that one time Stephen Baldwin tried to sue Kevin Costner over oil technology. To live in these people's world... [Gothamist]

​• Charlie Sheen says he'll sue CBS, Warner Bros., and Chuck Lorre for $320 million for "mental anguish" after Two and a Half Men was canceled following Sheen's rant against Lorre on the Alex Jones Show. "'After Wednesday, they'll have to rename Warner Bros. as Charlie's Bros,' Sheen told Radar." Sheen was on the Today Show today. He wants a raise, from $2 million an episode to $3 million. Next up: 20/20, Tuesday night. [NYP]

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​Let's get this party started! We have chocolate marshmallow cookies, and wine, and cheese and crackers, and maybe we'll get pizza. And, most importantly, we have CELEBRITIES CONGRATULATING THEMSELVES FOR BEING CELEBRITIES. And Billy Crystal. Whee! Herewith, Runnin' Scared's official live blog of the 83rd Annual Academy Awards, hosted by Jen Doll and Rosie Gray, with a surprise guest appearance from our own Myles Tanzer. This will be special.

It's 7:00. We're here, so we might as well start talking. Red Carpet. Here goes.

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Well, kids, Charlie Sheen, the man who brought us so many wonderful cinematic and tabloid memories, appears to have decided to fling himself onto the massed spears of the collective media, in what is being described as a "radio rant," which resulted last evening in the cancellation of his moving, poignant sitcom, Two and a Half Men, for the season. His sin, according to the New York Post? Blasting his producer on the Alex Jones radio show. (Jones confesses, by the way, that he's seen Sheen's hernia!) Look and listen on in horror.

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​Legend has it that Bill Murray is a weirdo. In one version of the infamous, widespread Bill Murray story, a kid is in Manhattan's Union Square late one night when someone comes up behind him and covers his eyes. When he turns around to see who it is, he notices it's Murray, as in the famous actor. "No one will ever believe you," the graying oddball says. And so on, with varying locales and strange behavior, but the same punchline. Today, a new one is added to the canon, but this time with photographic evidence.

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​First he finds a website, in this case CityVibe, which advertises itself on Google (we didn't click the link) as, "Your one stop source for Las Vegas escorts, escort reviews, Las Vegas massage, exotic dancers, strip clubs, escort services, independent, incall, ..." Presumably, he browses the pages, which are maybe divided by things like gender, sexuality, skin or hair color and maybe "expertise" or something similarly euphemistic. Then Charlie Sheen tries the phone number listed for his girl of choice. If it doesn't work, he signs into his AOL email account, which is tied to his name, "Charlie Sheen," and fires off a quick missive on his smart phone, which he does not proofread. In it, he teases himself as an "A-list actor," which of course, the girl can tell by the "From" field of the email. He provides his phone number, and signs the thing "xo," at least according to TMZ, a website which exists so we can all learn these things together. [Via]

​According to his ex-wife! [h/t MRV]

​Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, 84, announced on Christmas, via Twitter, that he will marry Crystal Harris, 24, December 2009's Playmate of the Month (pictured with Hef). "When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears. This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory," wrote Hefner, handing late night hosts their jokes about the old man's memory on a silver platter. For a little historical perspective, consider that Hefner's first divorce, from a woman named Mildred (!) Williams, came in 1959, nearly three decades before Harris' birth. But after his announcement tweet, some of Hefner's fans were apparently confused. What is this "ring" he speaks of?

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via the Telegraph/Reuters

​Congrats to Madonna, who today utilized the force of her Pilates-and-yoga-brutalized sinewy tendons to cut a formidable ribbon with some very large scissors, thus symbolizing the opening of her new Hard Candy Fitness chain in Mexico City, a place you can now work out while gazing upon a giant mural of Madonna's face.

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This time last year, Tiger Woods was on his way down. On November 27, 2009, the once-golden golf star was injured in a car accident outside of his home in Orlando, Florida. According to preliminary local reports and the initial statement Woods posted to his website, "the car crash that sent him to a hospital is his fault and has become embarrassing to him and his family, but he plans to keep it a private matter." If only! In the days, weeks and months that followed, Woods' world crumbled. So how's he commemorating the one-year mark?

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