via NY Post

​In real lives that sound like potential HBO series: Felix Lanting, an 83-year-old doctor, was arrested yesterday by police for running a large-scale narcotics operation out of his home medical offices. Dr. Lanting operated his facility out of the first floor of his Staten Island home, where 50 to 100 "patients" a day would come to get their fix. Since April, the good doc has apparently written 3,029 prescriptions for Oxycodone.

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​The New York State Department of Labor, New York City Department of Investigation, and Manhattan DA's office say they just busted 37 New Yorkers for stealing more than $300,000 in unemployment and section 8 housing benefits from city and state agencies. Jerks.

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​Remember Steven Slater's impostor, the chubby blond man who fooled Page Six (who corrected today) and a whole boatload of partying gay guys? He's apologized for his actions! We obtained an email from "I'm-Not-Slater" to Daniel Nardicio, the Playgirl VP whose birthday he showed up at.

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Our question last October, posed by James Lieber: "When Do We Go After the Crooks Behind Our Financial Collapse?" Now we know the answer: Never.

Why aren't you more pissed off? Why is this story being underplayed?

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​Sometimes crime is just tragic. Tragic like Hamlet. Tragic like Jell-O. Tragic like, in fact, the case of the Clements, an East Northport couple in their 60s arrested yesterday for purchasing packages of Jell-O pudding mix, filling them with sand, and returning them to the store for refunds, where the boxes were summarily restocked and sold to unwitting Jell-O-loving customers.

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​If the question How's Bernie Madoff doing in prison? has ever crossed your mind at any point, well, now we know. The answer is sad, hysterical, and kinda poignant.

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