via newjersey.com

​Add this to the list of things you are not supposed to do (see also "streak the president") for fear of federal ramifications: Thou shalt not operate an aircraft from which you pelt wet toilet paper onto a middle school in New Jersey (and probably other states as well).

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​The San Gennaro Festival has a bad reputation as just another reason for aggressive con-game carnies to hustle you next to the same booths serving funnel cakes, lemonade, and sausages that appear at every other street festival in New York City (unless, of course, you find the right ones). Well, it's not just those things! It's also a place for thick-necked brutes to get into fights and throw chairs at one another, WWF-style.

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​Hasn't America already doled out a terrible hand to the Indians already without trying to make them a part of their eugenics and assimilation? Apparently not. Today, the Seneca Nation Indians have to fight off New York State from taxing cigarette purchases made by non-Indians on their reservations.

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​You know how sometimes you just don't have time to take a shower so instead you spritz on a layer of perfume and waft out into the night air, hoping for the best? That, apparently, is the theory being employed at the largest (and highly active) landfill in New Jersey, Middlesex County, where rancid, rotting garbage is bothering the folks downwind.

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​And you thought Rod Blagojevich got off easy: Snooki has now been booked by Seaside Heights for that time she got arrested on the beach a few weeks ago. The charge?

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​New Jersey gets a bad rap as the "armpit of America," which goes without mentioning all the wonderful reference-points pop culture's recently yielded to represent The Garden State, like Bravo's The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Oxygen's Jersey Couture, and of course, MTV's ratings record-breaking Jersey Shore. So it might follow that now is as good a time as any for New Jersey to stop it with the whole "retarded" thing, via the legislative process.

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​Is this a Garden State setback? Apparently, Danielle Staub -- who's one of the peoplecreatures Bravo turned their cameras on for the Cloverfield-esque faux-terroreality television program The Real Housewives of New Jersey -- has been fired, and according to the NY Daily News, is shocked -- shocked! -- at being canned.

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​If George Bush was the butt of all jokes, Barack Obama is the outlet of choice for pent-up anger -- or at least his plastic "likeness" is. A boardwalk game in Sea Side Heights -- the city with the probable highest amount of testosterone per capita and the summer home of Snooki, the Situation, and the gang -- features an Obama figure alongside Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Michael Jackson, and several other public figures.

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Via The Forward/Claudio Papapietro

​Ever come into contact with the expression wherein one "needs a night in Atlantic City"? Whoever coined it obviously never foresaw the day Atlantic City would be getting a Holocaust memorial.

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Click to Enlarge, but if you do, keep in mind that this woman has four kids. And is insane.

​Just as you probably could have guessed, of the various iterations of Bravo's brainsucky Real Housewives series -- which includes New York, Orange County, Atlanta, and soon, D.C. -- it was New Jersey which has now produced the most authentic "Real Housewife" of them all: Danielle Staub, who's a divorcee with a fake name, eight felony counts and a plea deal, a past as a hooker, and now, a sex tape scandal that is apparently of her own making.

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