Oh, city life!

The Daily News' Ask an Expert column today has a not-too-uncommon conundrum -- sober neighbors who live next to stoner neighbors and complain about them.

An Upper West Side woman wrote in for advice on this very issue, since she can smell pot smoke in her apartment. She's trying to get pregnant, and worries about a "contact high." The woman and her husband, worried about coming across as "complete squares" want to know: "Should we narc?"

You can read the column for that answer, but we're more interested in another important question: How do you smoke pot politely in the City's close quarters?

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For our Northeastern neighbor, it's a shame 4/20 was two weeks ago. More >>

via i_follow/Flickr

In the midst of all the Osama Bin Laden news there's a bit in the New York Post about "hipster communities" in Williamsburg and Greenpoint that are either partying too hard, or are partying just the same as they've always been partying but getting busted more, depending on who you ask. Apparently, local officials in the area are pushing to ban new bars in Williamsburg and Greenpoint; meanwhile, heroin and pot busts are reportedly up in the 94th Precinct, which covers the area, 33 percent this year compared to last.

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Merry Christmas, someone: A lot of pot.

It really is all about the little things. For example, when you have 513 pounds of marijiuana in your minivan, don't run a red light. Make sure you signal properly. And, definitely don't run from the cops -- they hate that. These are all lessons we can learn from Clement Hunter, a 30-year-old Queens man who drove his Dodge Caravan down a dead-end street during a police chase that ended in cops discovering 513 pounds of pot in his minivan.

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Update: Despite doubts that Lindsay Lohan would be sent immediately to jail at her hearing today, that's exactly what happened. Judge Elden Fox ordered her held there without bail until her next court date of October 22 (almost 30 days if she is indeed there the entire time), and per CNN, "she was taken from the courtroom in handcuffs."

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Up next in our servicey "What Not to Do with Marijuana" series -- a/k/a, how not to be stupid -- we have the valuable lesson of the kid in Montana who wanted to buy weed and, er, somehow managed to text his request to the local sheriff.

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You would think: If there was something kids could get ahold of that could get them high, it'd be illegal by now, right? Wrong. Enter the oregano-looking "K2," which isn't marijuana, but supposedly gets you high. It's proven to work doubly, however, as a great cause for media fear-mongering about the latest thing that can make your kids turn into Stabby Goth Twitter Kids or whatever, and political piggybacking.

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Gypsy Porfirio

Aging wannabe model Gypsy Porfirio, who mowed down a Staten Island jogger in January on Hylan Boulevard while she was blitzed on Xanax, Ambien, and Percocet, has now been sued by the dead man's family. Teacher Daniel Kelley, 23, was killed when Porfirio's vehicle smacked into him. His jogging partner (and girlfriend), Gina Siclari, was injured.

Porfirio is already facing a criminal case, having been charged with, among other things, third-degree criminal drug possession. She's at-large on $150,000 bail.

NBC New York

A "massive" Long Island drug operation that manufactured and sold cocaine and marijuana was taken down today, leading to the arrests of 6 people, including James Blatchly, 49, of Locust Valley. NBC New York has photos from inside the marijuana grow house, and we just have to say, my, what green thumbs these fellows have!

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Why is she smiling? Why do you think? This poster hangs in the Ganja Gallery bar, a legal dope dispensary in Boulder, Colorado.

"Medical" and "marijuana" don't yet go together in New York, as a 58-year-old Staten Island man recently discovered. He showed up at the hospital last Friday for treatment (of an undisclosed type), but was lugging a bag containing 49 baggies of marijuana.

When cops were summoned to Richmond University Medical Center and arrested him, Frank Thompson told them (according to the Staten Island Advance's John M. Annese), "That's my weed. I was going to smoke some. I was going to sell some.... I needed some extra money."

Sorry, Frank, too early here, but Colorado's medical-marijuana industry is booming (more than 200 outlets so far), and California voters will decide this fall whether to out-and-out legalize pot.

What are New York's chances for new dope laws?

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