Regardless of how drunk you are, this is not a good place for a nap.

We've all been there (at least that's what we tell ourselves) -- you're drunk, you're heading home, and an inviting piece of sidewalk lures you in a for a quick roadside nap. In most cases, you wake up, say "how the hell did I get here," and spend the rest of the day ashamed and trying to forget the whole thing ever happened.

That wasn't the case for a Westchester County man, though, who ended a night of drinking by crashing on the sidewalk in front of a home in Port Chester. And of the dozens of people who passed him -- many of whom simply stepped over his unconscious body -- nobody bothered to call an ambulance, or attempt to help him. They did, however, rob him -- multiple groups of people walking past the man were caught on surveillance video bending down to steal his stuff. One woman went so far as to steal his belt. Another thief even takes off one of the man's shoes, presumably looking cash in his socks.

WABC's got video of the sidewalk free-for-all, which you can see below.

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The more, the merrier. Or, in this case, the more vices, the better. At least that's what New York Assemblyman Micah Kellner thinks and just in time for the Kentucky Derby and Cinco De Mayo.
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This weekend news broke of two separate incidents in which people who should be counseling against drunk driving were caught, well, driving drunk. The first, and arguably more outlandish case, happened on Friday night on East Fordham road and involved public school teachers Diana Mancusco, 29, and Karen Aguilar, 26. After finding that both women were drunk, cops searched the car and found a small amount of cocaine and a dagger. Mancusco and Aguilar were charged with drunk driving and drug and weapon possession. They both work at the Entrada Academy in the Bronx.

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In New York City, 357 drivers were arrested in 2011 for being under the influence of drugs -- up from 81 ten years prior. That's more than a 300 percent increase.

That's why Sen. Chuck Schumer is making a funding push to crackdown on "drugged driving" through new on-site technologies that would identify drivers under the influence and through additional training for officers.

He made the call for stronger enforcement at a press conference yesterday with Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen Rice, where he argued that despite a growth in drugged driving arrests over the last decade, the number of arrests pale in comparison to drunk driving -- due to the challenges of identifying drivers on drugs on the road.

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After a massive fervor must have ensued (we're guessing that liquor businesses, like liquor patrons, can be quite vocal) following the New York Post's story on the Health Department's possible plan to make New Yorkers healthier by limiting their access to alcohol through fewer stores (and ads), the mayor has spoken, and, rest assured, friends -- he is not, at this moment, going to take away your right to party. The Post reports that their initial piece "drew howls of outrage from responsible drinkers and operators of liquor venues across the city" (which, one assumes, was not an unintended result of the article). Bloomberg spokesman Stu Loeser has come forth to quell those howls, saying that the mayor does not want to limit liquor businesses' depth and breadth and bread and butter, and, actually, this was just brainstorming. Calm down everyone, and take a nice, long sip of your beverage! Isn't that nice?

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You know how our dear Mayor Bloomberg went after our soda-chugging habit, and how, on the occasion, we enjoy delicious trans-fat-full French fries, and how much salt is in our food? He also made us stop smoking in public places, one after the next, and installed giant calorie counts on the menus of various restaurants so that instead of getting the potato skins we order a sad little piece of boiled chicken and poke it around with our fork before going home to bathe in our own tears. Step by step, he has destroyed much that is bad for us in this world, creating a subset of humans so healthy as to be insufferable -- and another subset bent on getting the unhealthy stuff, whatever the cost. He is at it again, and this time, the ante is upped. He wants us to stop drinking so much. Mayor Bloomberg, you are not the boss of us! And we will sneak out if you ground us, we will.

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NOT PICTURED: His girlfriend, drinking vodka out of a salad spinner.

Ever notice that when you crack open your third bottle of wine, your boyfriend or girlfriend is uncorking his or her third bottle as well? This may be evidence of a broader trend among young couples, a new study finds. USA Today reports that researchers in Nova Scotia discovered they "were able to predict one partner's binge drinking based on the other partner's binge drinking." Don't worry, single binge drinkers, there's bound to be someone out there for you, and they're probably throwing a shoe at the TV of an airport bar as you read this.

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The latest installment of Gwyneth Paltrow's indispensable GOOP newsletter deals with a topic of immediate interest to those planning to go out on New Year's Eve: hangovers. The surprising part of this is that Paltrow ever allows herself to drink to excess, but the unsurprising part is that her hangover tips are totally as highfalutin as anything else you'd find in GOOP. And there's no mention of Blowfish. Exhibit A:

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Credit card debt? What credit card debt? Oh, pour yourself another drink. The latest fun -- and healthy! -- thing we're all doing under the influence of a little boozin' is...shopping on our own personal computers, from home, at night, after a hard day's work, with the jug of wine next to us. In a fascinating "trend" piece from the New York Times, it seems that not only are we shopping drunk -- the online retailers actually want us to shop drunk. As long as we don't return things the next day, of course.

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Ed Yourdon/Flickr

Union Square may be the loneliest place in New York City, but, not to worry, the High Line has now been dubbed the "make-out park of New York City." This according to a Parks enforcement officer who spoke to the New York Post, which today reports on the High Line as the drinking-est, most romantical park in New York City. Or, at least, the drinking-est, most romantical park in which the most people are caught and ticketed for drinking. Between January and November, 113 summonses for drinking outside in the park were given, mostly to tourists and lovahs who wanted to toast with wine or champagne as they watched the sun set. (A/K/A, these are not hardened criminals, nay, they are more "the philharmonic crowd and the upwardly mobile.") In any case, they can't help it.

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