Pavilion Theater's Owner Is Really Sorry For Being the Fruit Police

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Image by Flickr user Fried Dough
The owner of the Pavilion Theater, Park Slope's surprisingly godawful movie theater, has extended an apology to Michael Kass, the 41-year-old cinemagoer it called the cops on last week for bringing strawberries into its fruit-phobic establishment.

Owner Ben Kafash told the Daily News, "I think the way the situation was handled was not correct and we apologize sincerely." Kafash also promised to work with Kass to hold a series of neighborhood meetings, and said he'd like to open a juice bar in the theater.

At the same time, though, the Pavilion has also quietly deleted their Facebook page, where Kass first made his complaint. Things were getting a little rowdy over there.

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Cops Investigating the "Fastest Lap Around Manhattan" Video

Categories: Dumb, Fast Things

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Facebook/Vin Diesel
chyeah.
Surprise! Not everything happening in New York has to do with the Mayoral election, as much as we bloggers might have you believe. There's also people committing extraordinarily dangerous stunts and videotaping the acts for our YouTube-ing pleasure. Police are investigating the YouTube video "Fastest Lap Around Manhattan 2013", in which someone circles the borough in just over 24 minutes. Set to powerfully bad house music, you can tell the guy behind the wheel is living out some pornified Fast and the Furious fantasy, because why not?

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Hey Idahoans, That Obama/Holmes Billboard is Extremely Offensive

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On Franklin Road and North 21st Avenue in Caldwell, Idaho, this little sign above exists. Even though it really bears no repeating, here's what it says.

On the left is a picture Aurora shooting suspect, James Holmes - the man behind the largest mass shooting in American history - and a count of the number of his victims. We all freaked out, yes. On the right is a picture of our President, Barack Obama, with a statement that reads, "Kills thousands with his foreign policy... Wins Nobel Peace Prize."

We'll give you a second to take that all in. Phew... okay. Let's talk.

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Mike Bloomberg: Cops Should Go On Strike Until Gun Laws Are Changed (Sigh)

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...said nobody...ever.
New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg's got a brand new plan in his crusade to rid the world of guns: cops should go on strike.

Don't worry -- it makes complete sense (according to Bloomberg, anyway, who also thinks donating food to homeless shelters is a bad idea because he can't monitor the amount of sodium in it, and that serving soda in containers less than 16 ounces (but only at restaurants) will magically curb obesity).

The mayor spoke with CNN's Piers Morgan last night -- as he makes the talk show rounds to use to Colorado shooting to push his anti-gun agenda -- where he outlined his new plan.

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90 Percent of People Don't Know What CTRL+F Does on Their Keyboards

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When you want to find a word in a document, you press CTRL or COMMAND and F, right? Alexis Madrigal at the Atlantic spoke with Dan Russell, a search anthropologist at Google, who conducted a study of thousands of people on their computing habits and tendencies. One finding shocked Madrigal: "90 percent of people in their studies don't know how to use CTRL/Command + F to find a word in a document or web page!" We can't imagine going a day without using this shortcut, but most computer users somehow manage. Rick Perry said that he acknowledges the theory of pressing CTRL+F to find a word, but thinks it has some gaps in it.

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New Yorkers Find New Dumb Thing to Complain About: Noisy Snow Plows

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​It's official: New Yorkers will complain about anything snow-related. Oh, the street didn't get plowed fast enough? Complain! Slush is gross? Salt stains are annoying? Train's a few minutes late? Flight's delayed? Complain! Complain! Complain! Now the city overcompensates for its prior fuck-up by plowing your street in the middle of the night so you have pristine roads and sidewalks in the morning? Yeah, that's right: Complain!

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Unemployment Back Up Again; Woman Calls Cops on Missing Snowman; Sarah Palin Says "Happy Hanukkah"

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• Some bad news with your Friday: Following a "torpedoing" of a proposed extension of unemployment benefits by Congress (see also: "House Republicans"), your job recovery is not doing so well, either. Only 39,000 jobs were added to the economy since November, far fewer than expected, and unemployment is back up at 9.8 percent. Sadface. [CNN]

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Epic Crime Fail: Asking a Cop If There's a Warrant for Your Arrest

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We thought the dumbest crime story of the day was the Scream-mask-wearing wannabe Dunkin' Donuts thief who got scared away by a water hose-wielding dishwasher. But no. That award actually goes to a woman in Ohio who stopped a cop at 2:30 a.m. to ask if there was a curfew for adults in the area. When told no (clearly, she wanted a yes), she queried further: "Is there a warrant for my arrest?"


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What Did the Diplomats Who Were Shut Out of Their Own White House Party Miss?

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That White House Social Secretary job must be cursed. CNN reports that "as many as 30 senior diplomats" were turned away from a party -- held in their honor -- at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue last night.More »

The Completely Wrong Way to Plead "Not Guilty," Starting With the Word "Balls"

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When you get arrested for a crime -- like, say, stealing 750 identities and over $500,000 of cash to be spent on "Tiffany & Co. jewelry, Rolex watches, and luxury goods from Louis Vuitton and Bloomingdale's" -- there is one thing you should never, ever, ever, ever say to cops if you want don't want to completely fumble any chance of fighting the charges from square one. Via the New York Post, remember the following phrase:

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