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​When considering a criminally focused lifestyle, or even just a singular instance in which you rob a restaurant or store or person with eyes, one should know that a large, recognizable facial tattoo may be incompatible with said life of crime or singular instance of theft. The name of the game is "inconspicuous," while tattoos are...not. Jorge Molina, 22, allegedly stole $670 from Souen in the East Village on November 14. A few days later, on November 20, he was "allegedly running from police in Greenwich Village" when cops remembered him from the Souen surveillance video for his clothing, not to mention his bird tattoo, which is black and covers his right cheekbone. (DNAinfo has photos.)

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Here is a question for pondering this Tuesday: Who's the bigger jerk -- the guy who walks around New York City pretending to be blind as "joke" and, you know, to teach people not to point "directions" to blind people -- or the people who are attempting, perhaps mistakenly, to help the guy they think is blind?

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​It's been a while since our last good, old-fashioned adorable animal in trouble post, but we think this charming tale about a moose that got drunk on a few too many fermented apples in Sweden and then became lodged in an apple tree was worth waiting for. The photos are simply precious! Also, it's a drunk moose stuck in an apple tree, which is pretty much a metaphor for life. We all have our proverbial apple trees, don't we?

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​When you want to find a word in a document, you press CTRL or COMMAND and F, right? Alexis Madrigal at the Atlantic spoke with Dan Russell, a search anthropologist at Google, who conducted a study of thousands of people on their computing habits and tendencies. One finding shocked Madrigal: "90 percent of people in their studies don't know how to use CTRL/Command + F to find a word in a document or web page!" We can't imagine going a day without using this shortcut, but most computer users somehow manage. Rick Perry said that he acknowledges the theory of pressing CTRL+F to find a word, but thinks it has some gaps in it.

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​Today in an exclusive the New York Post tells the harrowing tale of a car thief in Queens who found himself the unlucky temporary possessor of van containing two "plucky" (read: adorably obnoxious) little boys and their similarly adorably obnoxious mini-poodle. They heckled him ("Do you know you're in the wrong car?" the 7 year old asked); told him to keep his hands off the change tray; and exposed him to the excessive yapping and front-seat entitlement of their poodle, named Colette.

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Sorry, we laughed pretty hard at this one, which is not an Adorable Animals in Trouble, per se...though, in fairness, we don't know what sort of invasive questions NBC12 Reporter Tara Morgan may have asked this poor camel. Or maybe he was just hungry.

​The beleaguered "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark" has had its opening delayed yet again, this time to June 14. And it'll be closed between April 19 and May 12 so that the cast can become accustomed to the myriad changes being implemented, among them director Julie Taymor's departure.

If the show actually does start when it says it will, it will have had an unprecedented 180 previews (most musicals have about 30). Which have already been reviewed -- negatively -- by everyone. I get that $65 million has gone into this, but maybe it's time for the Spidey team to admit defeat?

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​Cathie Black is going to get screamed at for this one! A new report says that just 23 percent of students who graduated from New York City public schools in 2009 were ready for college. This number, the New York Times reports, "is well under half the current graduation rate of 64 percent, a number often promoted by Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg as evidence that his education policies are working." So what's the problem here?

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Don't do it.

​Once upon a time, many, many years ago, we sat in front of the computer screen of a now ex-boyfriend's laptop, and noted that his open email account happened to be a tab at the top of the open Internet page waiting in all-too-tempting proximity, while he, of course, was taking a shower. Did we look? Oh, we did. The results were not good.

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Merry Christmas, someone: A lot of pot.

​It really is all about the little things. For example, when you have 513 pounds of marijiuana in your minivan, don't run a red light. Make sure you signal properly. And, definitely don't run from the cops -- they hate that. These are all lessons we can learn from Clement Hunter, a 30-year-old Queens man who drove his Dodge Caravan down a dead-end street during a police chase that ended in cops discovering 513 pounds of pot in his minivan.

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