​The battle has finally been won against...breast-cancer screenings?

Yes, you read that right, and yes, it's OK to get really pissed off, ladies.

Amid sustained pressure from right-to-life groups (and the congressmen they support), Susan G. Komen for the Cure -- the nation's main breast-cancer nonprofit -- has pulled all of its breast-cancer-screening grants,$680,000, from 19 Planned Parenthood Federation of America offices nationwide. This means that thousands of American women might no longer have access to basic, life-saving diagnostics.

(But hey, if you're the kind of sicko who would consider this a political victory, you probably wouldn't think that far in advance about women's health.)

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​A team of American and Canadian researchers tasked with exploring..."gaydar science"?...have found that women who are ovulating have special powers. Namely, at that time of the month when babies can happen, a woman can tell whether a man is straight or gay, just by looking him in the face! Or, more specifically, at a photo of his face. So they say. Also, once a woman starts to feel romantic about a guy, she has "a heightened sensitivity to a man's sexual orientation." (Duh.) How was such knowledge uncovered?

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​Since Wednesday is, apparently, the best day for getting laid, we would like to inform you that women may be faking their orgasms. You might wonder, as people have for centuries, why would a woman do this? Rest assured, science has sought to find out why. Shockingly, new research from Temple University says it's not about trying to bolster male egos...instead, women who are faking orgasms (and this is some 60 percent, approximately, at one point or another, compared to 25 percent of men) have done it because of their own "issues." Thanks, science!

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​According to the latest New York Post "trend" piece, which manages to be both chauvinistic and fetishy with a dash of service thrown in for good measure, "girls' night out is now more gunslinging than cocktail-sipping"! Here's what the ladies are saying about their enjoyable new pastime:

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​Birth control pills are something of a double-edged sword. On one hand, they keep you from getting pregnant, which is presumably a good thing if you're taking birth control pills. On the other hand, they are hormones, and might screw up chemical signals that attract you to the kinds of guys you "should be" attracted to. According to recent research discussed in the Wall Street Journal based on a study of -- yes -- lemurs, "contraceptives may influence the way the primates pick and choose their mates." More specifically, apparently women look for "masculine" guys when they're fertile.

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Not recommended.

​Here's an interesting study: Women think that men with low voices are more likely to cheat. Meanwhile, men think that women with high voices are the cheaters. High voices in women and low voices in men are the more "attractive" pitches, and if you happen to possess such a hot pitch, well, chances are, you're going to use it. Lest you think this sounds like bullshit, there is science in it!

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​There's a new male-female survey out, and this time it's in Women's Health, which reveals in the March issue that almost half of American women think they're "more successful" than the men they go out with or are married to. Women's Health spins this as a positive -- how great is it that women are so confident and happy and full of opportunities in their careers!? -- and, yet, the question begged is: Why are we dating losers?

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​Scientists have undertaken to reveal a truth that no one really suspected was untrue, but anyway, now we know for sure! See, what happens is, when something unpleasant or painful happens to people, they generally take a little time and then forget about said event. But when they think it will happen again, and soon, they remember the event as quite yucky indeed. This is backed up by research published from the American Psychological Association.

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​New York Councilman David Greenfield has announced a bid to win over the city's pregnant ladies with legislation to give special parking to women whose OB/GYNs say they have "physical or mobility challenges." As reports the Daily News, the bill would let those ladies park in no-parking or no-standing zones for free until 30 days after their expected due dates.

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​Tampons. They are important to ladies. We won't go into the details here, but suffice it to say, they're personal. Intimate, even. So when o.b. nonapplicator tampons disappeared from the shelves of our local Duane Reades, something of a Seinfeld: The Sponge Episode was born. Except maybe born isn't quite the right metaphor. Or maybe it is! At any rate, women started freaking out, trying to buy them on Ebay, running up the price to $76 for three packs normally worth a little less than $30, reports the Daily News.

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