Pilates Ate a Breast Implant

This is reason #137 that we don't quite trust Pilates. (Yes, we know, some swear by it, but when we work out, we want to do more than make those weird little flappy motions with our hands, and "make a corset with our ribs," not to mention, there's the distinct sense that we're doing it all wrong.) In any case, a 59-year-old woman who'd had breast cancer and a bilateral mastectomy, and had gone on to get breast implants, was in a Pilates class. She was doing the "Valsalva maneuver," which involves "moderately forceful attempted exhalation against a closed airway, usually done by closing one's mouth and pinching one's nose shut."

Suddenly, she reported, her "body swallowed one of the implants." WTF? But, really, it happened, it's all in the New England Journal of Medicine.

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Watch Out for the Semi-Naked Santas Running Through Astoria This Saturday

Here is another reminder that the most wonderful time of the year is weighing upon us like last year's leftover fruit cake. If you find yourself in Astoria tomorrow between 12 and 4 p.m., you should know that the semi-clad Santas running through the streets are doing it for charity. It's the second annual Santa Streak, in which 100 or so residents of the neighborhood are expected to participate in a one-mile run wearing "only Speedos or similarly revealing holiday costumes." For a good cause! Why Leave Astoria, the organizer of the run, asks participants to bring old coats and clothes to donate to New York Cares: "take it off, strip down as far as you want, then run like hell to the secret bar where we'll be serving up some free suds."

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Bikram Choudhury Sues Yoga to the People for Yoga Plagiarism

Ever popular for its philosophy of affordability, if not for the crowding that can happen in its free-yoga-love studios, Yoga to the People is being sued by a powerful enemy, yoga guru Bikram Choudhury, the man behind -- obviously -- Bikram yoga. Bikram, if you don't know yoga, is a 90-minute program featuring 26 poses done in a 105-degree room (tagline: "authentic hot yoga that's changing lives all over the world.") Certainly, it is making people sweat a lot more than they would otherwise. The trouble, according to Choudhury's lawyer, Robert Gilchrest, is that Yoga to the People's founder Gregory Gumucio ripped off Choudhury's yoga moves which, in fact, Choudhury has copyrighted, for a Yoga to the People class called "Traditional Hot Yoga." YOGA BEEF!

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Almost Everyone in America Is Too Fat

Good morning! Are you enjoying a delicious donut with this blog post? Do you have full-fat milk in your coffee? Did you get your full intake of pizza-as-vegetable last night? Maybe so! According to two new research from the American Heart Association, Americans are getting fatter and sicker faster than you can say "Extra cheese." (But, really, let's not blame cheese here.) Researchers estimate that by 2020, the "vast majority" of American adults -- 83 percent of men and 72 percent of women -- will be too fat, and 77 percent of men and 53 percent of women will have diabetes or pre-diabetes.

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Couple Marries on Mile 22 of the New York City Marathon

Perhaps you spent yesterday in your pj's, surrounded by boxes of pizza. Or maybe you put on your Saturday pants and ventured about, cheering for marathoners and throwing them bananas and bagels (be more careful next time, you could put someone's eye out!). But whatever you did, we're pretty sure you are in a very small minority if you put on your sporty/fancy wedding clothes, ran a marathon, and, in so doing, got hitched. You are in an even smaller minority if you officiated that wedding. But these people did.

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If You're Not Geoffrey Mutai, You Lost the New York Marathon, Loser

via Wikipedia
The guy who beat you.
Today, the New York Marathon course record was shattered by Geoffrey Mutai. The 30-year-old Kenyan ran it in 2:05:06, beating the previous record by 2 minutes and 37 seconds. Mutai also won the Boston marathon earlier in the year and set the course record for that race as well. If you are reading this, Geoffrey, congratulations! If you aren't Geoffrey Mutai, get back to work, you miserable sack of failure.

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Occupy Wall Street Arrests in Foley Square; Greek PM to Resign; NYC Marathon

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for occupy wall st.jpg
"At least 20" marchers were arrested yesterday as Occupy Wall Street protesters took to Foley Square. The New York Times City Room blog says the marchers "split into two groups, with about 200 on the sidewalk outside the court buildings and a larger group across the street on a large pedestrian island." Police and protesters argued about the legality of arresting people on a public sidewalk, as the NYPD had encouraged demonstrators to stay on the sidewalk and avoid roadways during previous marches. [NYT]

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NYC Marathoners Could Someday Make You Feel Lazy for Two Days, Not Just One

Marathons! Here's the thing. We do not get them. No, we don't get them at all. First of all, is it really healthy to force your body to move that far, for that long? Isn't "nipple chafing" a sure sign that you're doing too much? But, fine, we respect your right to run for a long time and then wrap yourself in a shiny, robot-esque, heat-sealing blanket afterward. We respect your right to consume strange untasty gels out of miniature packets. We respect your right to wear those horrible shoes that make your feet look like fingers. We respect it! You are better than us, and we know it. But! We must draw the line at making the New York City Marathon a two-day event as opposed to a one-dayer. We simply do not have enough strength in our upper arms to hand out bananas for that long!

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A Duel Will Take Place in Washington Square Park Sunday

Not this kind.
This Sunday, from from 1:30 to 3:30 p.m., Holley Plaza in Washington Square Park will be the site of an actual duel, hosted by the Martinez Academy of Arms. Along with a demonstration of the older methods of swordsmanship, observers will get facts, stories and anecdotes about the history of dueling in New York City. (Apparently this is the first time there will have been a duel in Washington Square Park in 100 years.) Maestros Ramon Martinez and Jeannette Acosta-Martinez, as well as staff Instructor Jared Kirby, Saga Krishnaraj, Keena Suh, and Lou Costa will be there to demonstrate.

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The Yogasm Is Enjoying Its 15 Minutes

Yogasms have been discussed among practitioners of yoga and orgasms (quietly and behind closed doors!) for a while, but it is only now that they are truly getting their time in the sun, with devotees finally coming forward to talk about what happens during class. The Daily Beast can be credited with a thorough investigation into this phenomenon, which lends itself quite naturally to a 2-page piece, "Are Yogasms Real?". (Some say yes!) A yogasm, if you haven't gotten it already, is when a women has an orgasm -- spur of the moment, without any touching or anything! -- while doing yoga.

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