Obama Invokes Income Inequality; Rightbloggers Come Out in Favor [Updated]

tomt200.jpgLast week's State of the Union address should have been easy innings for rightbloggers: Just talk about how Obama stinks and get back to Benghazi. But the President threw a curve: He alluded, albeit vaguely, to that "income equality" thing the kids are all talking about.

It was an obvious trap, but never underestimate the brethren's propensity to get stuck in those when Obama sets them up. They came out roaring against the (very popular) idea that there's something bad about the huge gap between the hyperrich and Joe Sixpack, and some even proposed an alternative outrage, "social inequality," that was all about how liberals were the real oligarchs because they made fun of such champions of the common man as Sarah Palin.

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Kristallnuts! Rightbloggers Accuse Liberals of Conspiracies Against the Rich and Right-Wing

tomt200.jpgTake a moment to remember the Bush years, and the way liberals talked about our 43rd President. As we recall it, Bush was regarded as a dummy and, if not a bloodthirsty rightwing radical himself, at least an enabler of same. Occasionally you'd hear him called a fascist, which rightbloggers would laugh off as a symptom of "Bush Derangement Syndrome" ("epidemic in New York's Upper West Side and the tonier parts of Los Angeles," said Charles Krauthammer in 2003).

Flash forward now to the second Obama Administration, which makes the Bush Years look like the Era of Good Feelings. After years of warnings that the Kenyan Pretender was hoarding ammunition and forming death panels to put all his enemies into FEMA camps, there is literally nothing rightbloggers won't believe about Obama.

Last week may have been a high-water mark in this regard, as some perfectly ordinary politicking, the legal and tax problems of some prominent conservatives, and a ridiculous statement by a venture capitalist combined to spur the brethren to declare themselves and their allies, the rich and powerful, victimized by Democrats.

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Rightbloggers Continue Outreach to Women with "Lena Dunham is Ugly" Campaign

tomt200.jpgDespite their often admirable message discipline, sometimes our rightblogger subjects just don't coalesce around one newsworthy subject that merits our attention. Such was the case last week. We could attend their thoughts on Obama's NSA speech, but frankly when you've seen one wave of fake outrage by folks who only discovered the national surveillance state on January 20, 2009, you've seen them all. And most of them kept their mouths shut about the great libertarian distribution of poisoned water to West Virginians, for reasons that should be obvious.

So let's reach into the grab bag marked "rightblogger gold" and see what's up -- ah, we got the war-on-women ticket. Piece of cake! We can fill out most of a column on the brethren's latest rage-gasm over Lena Dunham and her clothed and unclothed body. And if we have to pad it, there's plenty more misogynistic crap where that came from.

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Once a RINO to Rightbloggers, Chris Christie Finally Earns Respect With His Bridge to Benghazi

tomt200.jpgAs you have no doubt heard, New Jersey Governor and onetime Republican Presidential fantasy object Chris Christie had some bad publicity last week, owing to some apparently politically-motivated redirection of traffic in September that was ordered from the vicinity of his office (aka "Bridgegate" or "Bridge-gate" but let's not, shall we? American politics is stupid enough as it is).

Some people think it's bad news for the Governor, but we don't. For one thing, as the rightblogger response shows, the turmoil has lifted Christie's stock among the one constituency that he really needs to gain the Republican Presidential nomination in 2016: Diehard conservatives who think Christie isn't vicious enough to be President.

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The 10 Dumbest Rightblogger Ideas of 2013, Part 2

tomt200.jpgWe hope it's been long enough since listicle season (only a few days, but hell, your attention spans have all been shot to pieces by the internet, right?) that you won't mind if we present part 2 of the roundup we began last week.

Herewith items 5 through 1 in our list of the dumbest ideas that were the basis of rightblogger rage throughout the last twelve months:

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The 10 Dumbest Rightblogger Ideas of 2013, Part 1

tomt200.jpgTradition requires a year-end listicle. We could just tick off the news events to which rightbloggers reacted ridiculously over the past 52 weeks -- from gay marriage victories to Rand Paul's filibuster to the Boston Marathon bombing to the George Zimmerman trial to Obamacare.

But everyone else is doing that. So we figured: How about we count down Rightblogger 2013, not based on the stupid things they did and said, but the stupid ideas behind what they did and said?

Apart from the novelty of taking them seriously, we think it'll be useful because if there's one thing the past decade has shown us, it's that today's rightblogger lunacy is tomorrow's Republican policy. Read on, and 2014 will be less of a horrifying surprise for you, or at least less of a surprise.

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Rightbloggers Prove They're No Sissies By Supporting Duck Dynasty, Beating Up Pajama Boy

tomt200.jpgConsider a traditional conservative with the traditional conservative attitude toward gay people (briefly, "grooot, ah hates me a faggot"). Times have turned hard for him; gay marriage is sweeping the nation, and it's no longer considered cool to harsh on homosexuals.

Through all the recent gay watershed events, he's tried to get with the program and portray his seething contempt as something else -- like love of liberty -- which, while effective with some people, is not as viscerally satisfying as the Old Ways.

Then, in one week, two things happen: one of the Duck Dynasty guys tells gays they're basically the same as pig-fuckers, and gets suspended for it; and Organizing for America puts out an ad for Obamacare featuring a wan-looking young man in pajamas.

Our hero's skull cracks open and becomes an id-in-the-box, with slurs and gibberish springing out. Which has a bright side: Plenty of material for this column!

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Rightbloggers Wish America a Miserable War on Christmas, Again

tomt200.jpgMerry War on Christmas! Did you miss it? No? Well, too bad, because after ten years it appears to be as important and obnoxious a part of our solstice revels as SantaCon and "Wonderful Christmastime."

But though sheer habit and a taste for proven clickbait may be what keeps rightbloggers on the WoC beat, you have to hand it to them: They still find ways to keep it fresh. And by "fresh" we mean ridiculous.

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Rightbloggers (Some Of Them, Anyway) Pay Tribute to Their New Friend, Dead Nelson Mandela

tomt200.jpgWhen Nelson Mandela died last week, the internet had its own sort of Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which went rather less well than South Africa's.

As Mandela is a well-loved world figure, it's only natural that even his former enemies would want to act like they liked him when he passed; and when they did, several leftbloggers took the opportunity to remind conservatives who were sending tributes where they'd been when Mandela needed them.

But this sort of hypocrisy is only of mild interest to us -- after all, we cover rightbloggers, and noticing hypocrisy in them is like noticing they have two eyes and a nose. We're more interested in the grand, more exotic forms of absurdity they come up with. And, boy, did we find plenty.

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With "Knockout Game" Back in Fashion, Rightbloggers Revive the Old Ooga Booga

tomt200.jpgThe most recent NYPD CompStat crime report shows 1,421 complaints of felonious assault in the City over 28 days. By the tabloid press' generous estimate, as many as 10 recent assaults may be attributed to something called "the knockout game," in which a black kid goes up to some random white person and punches him or her in the head.

These assaults -- and several similar ones in other cities -- would be deplorable whatever their cause or number but, to be real about it, they represent a small fraction of U.S. crime. Nonetheless the knockout game has become huge for rightbloggers, who have used the phenomenon to revive the old Ooga Booga -- that longstanding conservative campaign to convince their fellow white people that blacks are ganging up to commit race war against them.

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