Hey! We're Gay! We're Married! Let's Move to ... Virginia? (UPDATED)

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"Hey, sweetheart, let's move to Virginia and make a life for ourselves there free of intolerance and inequality," said no gay couple ever. Or at least, that's what an effete writer working for a New York publication long-entwined with the city's gay community might assume.

You see, there's an odd geography problem here that our Federalist system produces: Before yesterday's overturning of DOMA, that act's restrictions, coupled with the inconsistent patchwork of anti-discrimination laws state-to-state, would make any gay couple with a brain cell between them stay away from states that, shall we say, didn't have their best interests at heart.

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DAMN. IT'S GAY MARRIAGE, Y'ALL.

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The raucousness of this morning's overturning of DOMA died away quickly.
This morning, at just a touch past 10, the Supreme Court announced its long-awaited ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act, striking the law down in an uncharacteristically sweeping 5-4 ruling. In all the media analysis mumbo-jumbo since the case was argued back in February, the fundamentals of the case got all tangled up in conjecture and hypotheses about the court ruling this way or that.

See Also: Scenes of Jubilation at the Stonewall Inn as the Supreme Court Strikes Down DOMA

Well, no more need for guesswork: With the demise of DOMA, married gay couples in the states where it's legal (Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, Washington, Maine, Maryland, Rhode Island, Delaware, Minnesota, and D.C.) can now enjoy the over 1,000 federal rights and benefits attached to marriage. And here in New York, it means more than 10,000 couples living with skim-milk marriage can now get their cut of the fat.

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First-Ever Russian LGBT Float in NYC Pride? Big Whoop.

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Facebook/Rusa.LGBT
In a bid for the title of Shittiest Legislative Body on Earth, the lower house of Russia's parliament unanimously passed legislation banning "homosexual propaganda," evidently to stop Russia's LGBT community from preaching the wonders of gayness to kids. And next week, for the first time ever, the New York City Pride march will feature a float representing New York's Russian-speaking community.

So we called Yelena Goltsman, the founder of Rusa LGBT, expecting all kinds of hoorays and hoorahs, bright tones and fiery rhetoric. What we got: Whoop dee-freakin'-doo.

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The Sequester Ruins...Fleet Week's Gay Nightlife?

Categories: Gayz, Navy

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If you tuned into this afternoon's dour White House press briefing, you would have heard a lot about...dun dun dun...the sequester. Several public goods are going to get mercilessly slashed as the cuts begin to take effect, and they go something like this: Head Start, Meals on Wheels, food facility inspections, safe flying, and...Fleet Week's gay nightlife.

That's right. The last item wasn't put in front of White House press secretary Jay Carney, but DNAInfo reports that because Fleet Week, the annual celebration of sailors coming into port in May, has been canceled due to federal budget constraints, gay-friendly West Side bars and restaurants will be feeling the loss more deeply than most.

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There's No "App" To Cure Meningitis, New York City Gay Guys

Categories: Gayz, Health
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The New York City Health Department yesterday renewed a recommendation to gay men who've had sex with a man they met via-a digital "app": get a meningitis vaccine.

In the last 12 months, there have been a total of 11 cases of meningitis within the City's gay community, two of which were diagnosed within the last five weeks.

According to the Health Department, the disease is prevalent amongst men who've met their sexual partners "through a Website, digital application ('app'), or at a bar or party since September 1."

The recommendation is specifically geared towards those who had sex with a man they met in the Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brownsville, Bushwick, Clinton Hill, Crown Heights, Downtown Brooklyn, Dumbo, East New York, Prospect Heights or Williamsburg neighborhoods in Brooklyn.



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Andrew Cuomo Actually Acknowledges Idiot Rabbi's Gay Marriage/Hurricane Rant

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www.hipsterjew.com

Every time a natural disaster destroys entire communities, a handful of religious idiots blame it on gay people and the politicians who defend their civil rights. Hurricane Sandy is no exception.

In most cases, however, the moronic ramblings of fringe lunatics are routinely ignored by elected officials. That, however, is not the case with Hurricane Sandy.

In the aftermath of the storm, wing-nut Southern Christians claimed the hurricane was God's way of punishing the New York State Legislature for voting in favor of gay marriage. But Southern Christians aren't the only idiots who think unfortunate weather is divine punishment for defying God's word (as it's explained in thousands-of-years-old works of fiction).

Enter Rabbi Noson Leiter, the leader of the group Torah Jews for Decency, who is the latest homophobe to blame a storm on gays who occupy lower Manhattan -- which he describes as "one of the national centers for homosexuality."



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Iranian Technology, Gays, Women's Suffrage All Credited With Causing Hurricane Sandy

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Naked Pastor
Duh.
Hurricane Sandy was caused by Iranian technology that's capable of controlling weather patterns to punish Iran's enemies and the enemies of its friends. The reason the storm hit New York so hard is because God is punishing the Empire State for defying his word and allowing gay people to get married.

But what really caused the storm was "American arrogance" -- it's just nature's way of giving the U.S. a "divine slap" for its godless policies, including allowing women to vote.

Those are just a few of the theories laid out on the blogosphere by morons who unfortunately are allowed Internet access.

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DOMA Unconstitutional, Rules New York Appeals Court. But It's Not Dead -- Yet.

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www.theimmoralminority.com

The United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit in New York ruled today that parts of the Clinton-era Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) are unconstitutional because they discriminate against same-sex couples.

But don't get your hopes up just yet -- the issue of DOMA's constitutionality will likely be decided by the Supreme Court, so today's ruling is more symbolic than anything else.

(Read the court's full ruling below).


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Upstate Farm Refuses to Host Lesbian Wedding

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www.wnyt.com
Melisa Erwin and fiancee Jenny McCarthy
Gay people in New York have had the right to get married for more than a year. Bigots have had the right to be fear-mongering assholes since the drafting of the U.S. Constitution -- but do they have the right to decide to not host a wedding because the two people getting married happen to be lesbians?

That's what a court will be forced to decide in what will be a precedent-setting decision after two women filed a discrimination claim against an upstate farm that is refusing to let them tie the knot on its property because they're lesbians.

The couple -- Melisa Erwin and Jenny McCarthy -- decided earlier this year to tie the knot. When they started searching for venues -- Google searching the words "barn wedding Albany" -- they discovered Liberty Ridge Farm in Schaghticoke, which is just north of Albany.

When they called the farm to book a date, however, they were told they couldn't get married there. The reason: They're lesbians.

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If You're a Man Who's Had Sex With a Man You Met on the Internet, You May Want a Meningitis Vaccine

Categories: Gayz, Health
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If you're a man who's had "intimate contact with another man" whom you met on the Internet, the New York City Health Department recommends that you get a meningitis vaccination following a recent spike in the rare/potentially fatal disease.

In addition to Internet rendezvous, the Health Department says that any man who's had intimate contact with another man he met at a bar, party or via-a mobile app should also get the vaccine.

If you have HIV and fall under any of the aforementioned categories, the Health Department says you run an even higher risk of contacting the disease.

As we reported last week, there have been four cases of the disease in several boroughs, including one fatality, in the past four weeks. 



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