​Alas! Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have called things off "for good," begging such questions as, what do you do with the Us Weekly cover in which you announced your engagement to the world when everything goes south again with your Baby Daddy (who isn't just your Baby Daddy but also the alleged Baby Daddy of at least one other young lady)? Do you go try to wrestle the issue from the hands of assorted nail salon owners? Frame it and put it in your "memory box"? Or trash that old thing and get on the phone with People, stat?

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​Since, as Us Weekly informed us all (including, apparently, Sarah Palin) yesterday, Levi Johnson has finally offered to make an honest woman of Bristol Palin -- and Bristol has accepted! -- we're been wondering: How does Levi's proposal fare in light of all of the impressive proposal efforts we've seen of late (trained clowns, graffiti artists, boy bands)? And what's our star-crossed couple's chance of making it, anyway? We've employed the super-scientific Runnin' Scared engagement analyzer to give us an inkling of the odds.

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​What with Tiger Woods and Al Gore and even all those humdrum average people who live in your neighborhood calling it quits, Time magazine wants to know, "Is Divorce Contagious?" And while they don't really come out and say it's at swine-flu levels, yet, they do quote a study that estimates that your odds of getting a divorce increase by 75% if a couple in your social circle decides to call it quits. This is so why we're not friends with any married people!

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​Al and Tipper's calling it quits has, apparently, inspired a whole nation of gray-haired malcontents to finally get out of their miserable marriages as well. According to the Denver Post, which reports on this new "trend," this is only just the beginning. Someday, it may be as big as the entire Internet!

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​A week and a day after the news was released (by email, if you recall) that Al and Tipper Gore are calling it quits, the Washington Post informs us that the eldest Gore girl, Karenna, has been has been separated from her husband, Andrew Schiff, for a couple months now. Oh dear. The couple is in counseling, and we wish them the best, especially on account of their three little kids.

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What's the "jumped the shark" thermometer for formerly edgy street artists who may or may not do illegal things in illegal places?

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