Rep. Michael Grimm Non-Apologizes for Threatening to Throw NY1 Reporter "Off This Fucking Balcony" [UPDATED]

Screenshot via NY1
Oh thank God, something interesting happened during the State of the Union. We'd thought the highlight of the evening might be watching House Speaker John Boehner stubbornly refusing to crack a smile, glowering over the president's shoulder, while next to him, Joe Biden beamed maniacally and methodically seduced the ladies of the audience with his focused pointing.

But no: The real fun came afterward, when New York 1 Capitol reporter Michael Scotto tried to grab a minute with Congressman Michael Grimm, dignified representative of Staten Island and Brooklyn under investigation by both the feds and the House Ethics Committee for alleged campaign finance violations. Scotto wanted to talk about those allegations; Grimm had other, more athletic ideas.

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Mnemonic Devices to Help You Remember That It's 2012

Once upon a time, people expressed concern come the New Year that they would forget to write the correct date on their checks. Because the only people who still use checks are con artists, there is one less thing to worry about as we ring in 2012. Still, it may be difficult to remember what year it is, and forgetting this information could be humiliating. That's why we've thought of a couple mnemonic devices to help you remember that, for the next 366 days, it will be 2012.

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Weather-Appropriate Halloween Costume Ideas

As the woman in the Pac-Man costume can attest, hypothermia causes paradoxical undressing.
Bad news, attention-starved women and vain men: That skimpy costume you've been planning for your big Halloween bash tonight isn't going to work in this weather. "Slutty Henry Kissinger" might have been a good idea in early September, but now that a Class 3 Kill-Storm is pounding the Eastern Seaboard, you're going to have to improvise. Remember, there's nothing sexy about hypothermia.

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'George Carlin Street': It Could Happen!

Legendary comic George Carlin, recently and beautifully memorialized by Louis C.K., started out his life in Morningside Heights. He lived on 121st Street between Amsterdam and Broadway for pretty much the entirety of his childhood, starting in the '40s, and now his fans are pushing for the city to rename that block after him. Led by comedian Kevin Bartini, the petition now has over 2,500 signatures online. Bartini, who is the "backup warmup comedian" at the Daily Show, described the idea of a new George Carlin Way as a "no-brainer."

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Nazis Tricked by Wash-Off T-Shirts With Secretly Nice Message

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The shirt...and the undershirt.
Here's a good idea...if you give a Nazi a T-shirt, make it one the Nazi is prone to be attracted to, like a magpie to something shiny. Make it say, maybe, "Hardcore Rebels - National and Free," and give it a skull-and-crossbones to make it seem really edgy. They will go like hotcakes, as they did at a recent right-wing extremist rock festival in Germany. But! This is the part where things get crafty! Make the T-shirts secretly bear another message, one that undermines the entire "badass" Nazi message. Make it say, for instance, "If your T-shirt can do it, so can you. We'll help to free you from right-wing extremism."

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Rob Gorski Bought Rabbit Island, Hopes to Turn It Into Mini-Manhattan Artist Utopia

We have to go back
On jury duty one day last year, New Yorker Rob Gorski, who lives on the Lower East Side, found an island for sale on Craigslist. The 91 acres in Lake Superior three miles north of Michigan are called Rabbit Island and Gorski purchased the land with a plan, which has since blossomed. Today, Gothamist points us toward the Rabbit Island blog, where Gorski examines the "highest potential of Rabbit Island" through the prism of Manhattan, and specifically the book Delirious New York by Rem Koolhass, which shows "that Manhattan offers remarkable -- if obvious -- guiding principle related to human interaction with frontier and that the settlement of the forests of Manhattan is a benchmark act of civilization." From there, the ideas are excellently ambitious.

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Here's the Best Response to Hillary Clinton's Removal From the Situation Room Photo Yet

We love this Photoshop from Erica Sackin in today's Free Williamsburg so much, we only wish we'd thought of it first. Headline: "Citing modesty concerns, hipster website removes 'sexually suggestive' male images from Sit Room Photo." YES.

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via FreeWilliamsburg
Previously: Newspaper Photoshops Hillary Clinton Out Of Situation Room Photo

Get Mom a Pork Shoulder For Mother's Day

Runnin' Scared pal EV Grieve has a last-minute suggestion for Mother's Day procrastinators:

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Have you called your mother yet today?

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Bronx Man Wards Off Knife-Wielding Robbers With Single Apple

If the video-game version of Aladdin on Super Nintendo teaches one lesson, it's that "apples will always thwart bad guys." For those of you who don't remember, in the game you run through the city of Agrabah with what seems like millions of guards standing in your path. You must stun them with your small supply of apples to have the chance of jumping on their heads. Why are we talking about Alladin? Well, an unidentified parking garage worker in the Bronx was able to fend off two knife-armed robbers with just one red apple.

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Beyond Robocop: Build These Statues Now, America!

Half man, half machine, all statue
Patrick Cassels wrote an impassioned plea to the city of Detroit in Slate, imploring them to seriously consider the plan to build a Robocop statue. He says that the public arts work is worthy, as it depicts "a character who represents triumph over this sad landscape." We think it's a good idea because it's Robocop and he had a gun come out of his thigh. (And the dad from That 70's Show was the bad guy, remember that? Or the weird claymation mechwarrior at the end? We gotta re-watch Robocop!) This got us thinking, what fictional characters deserve statues in their respective hometowns?

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