This Halloween, Take a Haunted Canoe Ride Down the Fetid, Radioactive Newtown Creek

Image via North Brooklyn Boat Club on Facebook
The view from the water during last year's ride.
It can be hard to recapture the terror of Halloweens past, can't it? The simpler time when the holiday was about extorting as much candy as possible out of your neighbors, then rushing home as fast as you could, fully convinced that a multitude of ghosts and demons were about to claw their way out of area graveyards to feast on your brains? Was that just us? Too many rhetorical questions? In any case, making Halloween scary again might be as simple as taking a paddle down the Dutch Kills, part of the incredibly polluted, quite possibly haunted Newtown Creek.

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10 Weekend Ideas Under $10: Ray Davies Talks Americana, Doggies Dress Up, Robert Pruitt's "Women"

By Aya Rodriguez-Izumi & Ian Culley

Just because it's getting cold out doesn't give you the right to act like a hermit. This weekend's round-up will keep you nice and cozy.

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The Village Halloween Parade Launched a Kickstarter To Save Itself

The 40th Anniversary of the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade could also be its last.
Organizers of the parade have launched a Kickstarter to raise $50,000 to cover the loss from last year's cancelled event. Sandy swept through the area on Halloween weekend, forcing a last minute cancellation of the storied neighborhood spookfest.

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Epic Craigslist Poster and iPhone Hostage Victim Learns Valuable Lessons

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Remember the guy from yesterday who dropped basically an epic novel in Craigslist Missed Connections directed towards "The girl who held my iPhone for ransom in a pizzeria last night"? Paul Adler, 22, had an unfortunate experience on Halloween in which an enterprising outer-borough teenager held his iPhone hostage and then his wallet was stolen and the police came.

We got in touch with Adler, who filled us in on the aftermath and on the lesson he learned about wallet placement:

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Man Posts Epic Craigslist Missed Connection for Girl Who Held His iPhone Hostage

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The Lower East Side can be hellish on weekends, sure. Sometimes it can be really hellish, especially on Halloween, when some teenager holds your iPhone hostage and the night degenerates into an almost-brawl in a pizza parlor in which your friends are chasing the girl around, calling her a bitch, and your "really nice Tommy Hilfiger wallet" gets stolen and you have to call the police.

The above is the experience of some guy who then posted the whole thing to Craigslist Missed Connections for "The girl who held my iPhone for ransom in a pizzeria last night." Reposting in its entirety:

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Huffington Post Reveals True Self in Time For Halloween

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Finally, a HuffPo vertical that makes sense. Items include "Mraramrmarm: Young Male Zombie Scared For Marriage" and "Zombie Is Not A Choice." In the URL, it's "/culture."

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Obama Celebrates Pagan Unholy Day

Barack and Michelle Obama spent part of their Saturday night handing out candy to trick-or-treaters on the northern portico of the White House. President Obama doesn't appear to be overwhelmingly in the Halloween spirit, but we're pretty sure he's wearing a studio-quality Green Lantern costume under that windbreaker.

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Americans Will Spend $310 Million This Year on Halloween Pet Costumes

According to the National Retail Federation, Americans are expected to spend $6.68 billion on Halloween this year. Included in that sum is an astounding $310 million spent on costumes for people's pets. Give Americans credit: We can suffer through a recession, gross economic turmoil, a foreclosure epidemic, and a tepid stock market, but we sure as shit aren't skimping on the dog costumes.

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Things To Do Instead of Going Out on Halloween

For young, hip, sexy New Yorkers, Halloween is a weekend-long affair that encompasses non-stop parties, alcohol abuse, and looking like a total ho (only in the best way, of course). The young, the fabulous, and the not-so fabulous will be out terrorizing the city in esoterically witty costumes that they will most likely freeze to death in. But maybe you're not the going out type. Maybe you're the kind of guy or gal who would rather just chill with some Ben & Jerry's and old episodes of The Good Wife. We have ideas for you, too!

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Weather-Appropriate Halloween Costume Ideas

As the woman in the Pac-Man costume can attest, hypothermia causes paradoxical undressing.
Bad news, attention-starved women and vain men: That skimpy costume you've been planning for your big Halloween bash tonight isn't going to work in this weather. "Slutty Henry Kissinger" might have been a good idea in early September, but now that a Class 3 Kill-Storm is pounding the Eastern Seaboard, you're going to have to improvise. Remember, there's nothing sexy about hypothermia.

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