Cyberbullying, Fat-Shaming, and Homophobia on Hamptons "Douche Spotter"

The New York Post had a promising story this morning about a Facebook group created by East Hampton locals dedicated to calling out the douchey behavior of the elitest weekenders invading their hometown.

"Facebook page nails Hamptons D-bags for their bad behavior and maddening antics" the headline blared. This is going to be good, we thought, rubbing our hands together in anticipation. (The Today show thought so too--hosts chatted about the Facebook group on the air this morning.)

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Vicious Halloween-Time Swan Attack Reminds Us We Are Terrified of Swans

Today, the adorable animals in trouble are the HUMANS. If you loved the video of a turkey chasing down a TV newscaster and scaring her silly (watch it, if you haven't), you may also enjoy this video of a mad swan bent on revenge and taking it out on a family hiding inside their trusty vehicle in East Hampton, New York.

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Television Show Marketed to Hampton Jitney Riders During Precious Jitney Time

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In an attempt to build "buzz" for their upcoming drama Revenge, ABC will hand out pilot scripts to passengers on the Hampton Jitney this weekend. The show, which is set in the Hamptons, is based on The Count of Monte Cristo. Will Hamptons residents enjoy reading a tale about someone planning to murder Hamptons residents while on their way to the Hamptons to do Hamptons things, or will they tuck the script under their seat and forget about it after watching Hall Pass on their iPads? Our guess is the latter.

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Hamptons Might Be Hit Hardest By Hurricane Irene

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And you thought that pathetic excuse for an earthquake was bad? On Sunday, Hurricane Irene will barrel into the east coast -- possibly over the New York City area. As Jen explained yesterday, it's time to batten down the hatches. Especially if you're a fancypants type who lives in/was planning to go to the Hamptons, because it looks like the eastern end of Long Island might be hardest hit by Irene.

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New York Post Defines 'Hamptons House Ho'

Should you not know, now you do: A "Hamptons house ho" is a young lady of perhaps working-class means who escapes her dull workaday life and embarks on a jaunt to Long Island's narrow beach-dappled sections during the months in which sun shines down on all of us, swapping her white Reebok high-tops for a pair of borrowed pumps with a Sharpie-drawn scarlet sole, and attracting a man from the upper echelons of a society she dares to enter. As you may have read in your favorite Jane Austen novel, this not terribly goodly woman will exchange favors of a bodily sort for getting to stay in a mansion, and the kind of mansion she chooses designates the kind of woman she is. The New York Post has interviewed a few guys who are profiting advantageously from this situation. They are very open-minded!

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The Hamptons Jitney Is Just a Fucking Bus: Report

Tell that to the Hampsters!

[The Awl]


Stressed-Out Hamptons Puppies May Get Valium, Earmuffs

This Reuters headline really says it all: "Pampered pooches may pop Valium to cope with N.Y. rock festival." Did you get that? We'll expound. East Hampton is playing host to the "Music to Know Festival" August 13 and 14. The Animal Rescue Fund of the Hamptons is located on the same patch of land that will be the festival's home. So the shelter is kind of freaking out about the noise, and now the pups and kitties might get drugs, earmuffs and classical music to help them cope with the blaring sounds of evil rock music. While the idea of earmuffs on a puppy is kind of precious, we're a little nervous about the prospect of Valium. We're also currently reading Valley of the Dolls so that may play into our anxiety regarding the subject. (Maybe we need a Valium?) Puppies, don't get addicted! Hugs, not drugs! But also, we're a little confused about what all the fuss is about. Not only does the Reuters article mention that these animals already deal with the noise of the airport runway 50 yards away from their shelter, but we looked at the bands on the bill. Vampire Weekend? Ellie Goulding? M. Ward? Bright Eyes? Maybe the Valium is to get over the depression the poor puppies will suffer after listening to Bright Eyes. [Reuters]

Please Welcome "Hampsters," the Hamptons Hipsters

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via New Yorker
The Hipster Lit shelf at Bookhampton.
Just when you thought the possibilities for talking about, classifying, and analyzing the ambiguous cultural movement known as "hipsterdom" were over, here comes a new one out of the Hamptons, of all places. This item in the New Yorker's Book Bench blog, about a "Hipster Lit" section in Hamptons bookstore chain Bookhampton, suggests the existence of a new strain of hipster: the "Hampster," or Hamptons hipster. Cue long sigh. Is this real, though? And what are they, these Hampsters? Kim Lombardini, the marketing manager of Bookhampton and co-curator of the Hipster Lit shelf, was able to shed some light. More »

Two 18-Foot Sharks Enjoy West Hamptons Beach

It's shaping up to be quite the summer. It's only June 1, and it "feels like" 89 degrees. Additionally, sharks have arrived in the Hamptons, closing West Hampton's Dunes beach down for people yesterday after two of them -- 18-foot long, mind you -- were spotted swimming near the shore. Also on the beach was the remains of a dead seal, which may have "attracted" the sharks. Hamptons-goers were not thrilled. "It was pretty close to the beach, and I'm certainly happy I wasn't in the water at that time," one person told CBS 2. But as a local resident explained, sharks do live in the ocean, so you kind of have to expect to see them every once in a while. It's their beach, too! Stop being so selfish, humans. [CBS]

Will Hurricane Earl "Smoosh" With Jersey Shore?

Hurricane "Snooks."
Labor Day weekend isn't looking to be the last-hurray-of-summer-sunshine affair its supposed to be, with Hurricane Earl ready to very literally rain on the plans of anyone about to have one last blowout before calling the summer off. And it looks like the Jersey Shore -- which had its first post-Jersey Shore summer in 2010 -- might be right in its Eastern Seaboard path.

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