Rumors have been circulating for some time that Kristen Wiig was considering her seventh year as an Saturday Night Live castmember to be her last. And, in the last sketch of the season finale on Saturday night, she confirmed those rumors with one of the best (and emotional) send-offs in the show's history.

The season finale episode, hosted by Rolling Stones' frontman Mick Jagger with musical guests Arcade Fire, the Foo Fighters and legendary guitarist Jeff Beck, ended with a small skit in a classroom. Playing the teacher saying so long to a graduating class, Jagger calls Kristen to the front. And the tears began to fall.

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The above video comes via the Association of Science-Technology Centers, and it shows a superconductive disc locked in "quantum levitation." Translation: HOLY SHIT, THAT NILLA WAFER IS FLOATING IN MID-AIR!

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Um, so, for your lunchtime...treat...we're giving you this. Consider it an adorable-animals-in-trouble-slash-thank goodness-you-live-in-New York City, where things like this do not happen! In Nashville, Tennessee, the on-ramp to Interstate 65 South was closed down this morning, inconveniencing some, amusing others, after several canisters of bull semen fell off a Greyhound bus. Yep. What happened next is the stuff of blog posts.

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This photo just in. Somehow, a garbage (some are saying a salt) truck managed to get in this precarious position, two stories high, dangling out of a sanitation garage at 58-35 52 Road at 59th Street in Queens. The FDNY tweeted the photo, which is, you have to admit, pretty freaking dramatic, especially because there was a guy inside. We spoke to an FDNY spokesperson, who told us that the call came in at 9:28, and that he didn't know how the truck got where it was, but that the man inside was rescued with a tower ladder. Whew.

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The absolute worst part is how they've made it so it looks like little bed bugs are crawling around on your screen. Are you fucking kidding me? Excuse me while I go vomit, scratch myself, and burn everything I own.

[CBS]

[@_rosiegray]

Not the actual money.

There's nothing like an inspiring, aspirational crime story on a Friday morning, and from Scranton no less! Here goes: Police detained Karin Mackaliunas, suspected of burglarizing the Dunmore Inn, after she crashed her car on Sunday. They found three bags of heroin in her jacket. On the way to police HQ, they noticed her "fidgeting in the backseat of the cruiser." Turns out, she'd used her vagina as a storage facility for way, way, way more heroin. And other things, too!

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There's a new New York City drinking survey out, and chances are, you're a drinker, because more than half of New Yorkers of legal drinking age are (congrats!). We were surprised and vindicated to find, however, that New Yorkers on average (53%) actually drank less than the nationwide average (56%) -- so we're not quite the alcoholic sluts you think we are (commenter, we're talking to you).

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Just as we mention that 2009 was a very bad year for weapons sales, which hit a low since 2005 due to the global recession, well, about that...the White House may be poised to change their tune according to the Wall Street Journal, with "plans to offer advanced aircraft to Saudi Arabia worth up to $60 billion, the largest U.S. arms deal ever." Which they're supposed to notify Congress about "soon."

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via Daily News

We would not show you this if he didn't live. In two words: Holy crap. A guy was pushed onto the third rail (the electric, terrifying one) in East New York on Monday night. And someone took a picture. Andy Morris, a 44-year-old former construction worker who now lives in a homeless shelter, survived the ordeal, which included 625 volts to the head and sounds...horrifying.

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As we learned earlier this week, there are 33 miners trapped 2,000 feet underground after a mine cave-in in San Jose, Chile. Fortunately, they are all still alive. Unfortunately, it's going to take three to four months to extricate them, via drilling a hole large enough for their release. This story deserves to be mentioned because, honestly, it is just insane.

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