The Port Authority is Fully Aware That LaGuardia Sucks, Joe Biden

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Screenshot via.
Biden contemplates going to the airport.
Earlier this week, Vice President Joe Biden visited adorable proto-city Philadelphia, where he talked about the importance of rebuilding the nation's infrastructure. Mostly, though, he bagged on LaGuardia Airport, noting, accurately, that it's dirty and old and filled with unsettling, yellow-tinted flooring and ancient, clanking baggage claims, like something out of the beginning of an airport-themed Saw movie.

"I've traveled 800,000 miles since being Vice President," he told the crowd. "If I blindfolded someone and took them at two o'clock in the morning into the airport in Hong Kong and said, 'Where do you think you are?,' they'd say, 'This must be America. It's a modern airport. If I blindfolded you and took you to LaGuardia Airport in New York, you'd think, "I must be in some third-world country."

"I'm not joking," he added, when polite, nervous laughter rippled though the room. (And actually, Joe Biden merrily blindfolding someone in the dead of night and dragging them to the world's various airports to prove a point about infrastructure does sound possible, now that he mentions it.)

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Why The Ryan/Biden Debate Will Be Inherently More Entertaining

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The gaffer.
America is still letting out an exhausted sigh from the debate two nights ago in Denver. At this point, who knows who won, and who actually cares? The best/worst part of it all, as my colleague James King pointed out, is that Donald Trump was mentioned two times in 90 minutes; that's two times more than the number of times Trump should ever be mentioned in a presidential debate.

Nevertheless, the next two meetings between Romney and Obama will likely produce more "mehs" from the begrudging national audience. Don't worry, Election Day will be over soon enough. At least we hope so.

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The pointdexter.


But, Romney and Obama aside, we are forgetting a very important part of the American democratic process: the vice presidential debate. Next Wednesday, in lieu of the big boys fighting again, Paul Ryan and Joe Biden will face off at Centre College in Kentucky. The topics: domestic and foreign policy. The expectations: With last Wednesday in mind, it's evident that the VP debate will be much more entertaining then what we saw with Romney/Obama.


Especially
with these two characters involved.
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Don't Worry, Black America -- Joe Biden Meant Romney Wants To Put Y'all Back In "Shackles," Not "Chains"

Categories: Derp, Joe Biden
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www.punditkitchen.com
Joe Biden (sigh)
There's good news on the campaign front: Vice President Joe Biden has clarified comments he made yesterday about how Mitt Romney wants to "put y'all back in chains," and has completely (read: not at all) smoothed over any racial insensitivities that may have been suggested in his derp-y comments -- which were made in front of a predominantly black audience in Virginia, of all places, and are now getting used as political ammo by Republicans.

The vice president, it turns out, meant to say that Romney wants to "put y'all back in shackles," not chains.

"And I'm told that when I made that comment earlier today in Danville, Virginia, the Romney campaign put out a tweet," Biden said during another speech yesterday. "You know, tweets these days? Put out a tweet, went on the airwaves saying, 'Biden, he's outrageous in saying that,' I think I said instead of 'unshackled,' 'unchained.'

Just for kicks, before we go lettin' the foot-in-mouth-plagued veep off the hook, let's take a quick look at what the dictionary has to say about his (ahem) clarification.

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Joe Biden Kicks Off Gaffe Parade With Slavery Reference, Geography Fail

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www.punditkitchen.com

It just wouldn't be a presidential campaign without a few derp-y Joe Biden moments -- and today we got two.

At a campaign stop this morning, the vice president said the following: "with you -- and I mean this -- with your help, we can win North Carolina again."

Nope -- Biden was in Virginia, and unless some North Carolinians were in the crowd, the people to whom he was speaking can do precisely zilch to help Democrats win back the Tar Heel State.

But he wasn't done -- he doubled down on his derp-y campaign speak with a (im)perfectly placed reference to slavery.


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Going Rogue! Joe Biden Endorses Gay Marriage, Will & Grace, and a Dick Cheney Style Of Out-Gaying His Boss


Video via ThinkProgress.

When Barack Obama selected Joe Biden as his running mate almost four years ago, he did so knowing Biden was notoriously volatile when it came to predicting what would spill out of his mouth. Well, while the president was probably lacing up for some golf this Sunday morning, Biden came out for same-sex marriage equality on Meet The Press.

Oops!


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Keep Your Beer Cold and Get Shit-Faced With the Joe Biden Koozie

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Cold refreshment is a big fucking deal.
Sick of the never-ending coverage en route to the 2012 presidential election? Wish you could just drink yourself to sleep and wake up when it's all over? The Obama 2012 campaign store is here to help. Their online shop is selling a Joe Biden beer koozie to keep your hands warm, your beer cool, and your hope alive. The product description says it's for use with soda cans, but we all know Biden wasn't drinking Diet Dr. Peppers to pass the time on those Amtrak rides from Wilmington.

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Andrew Cuomo to Replace Joe Biden in 2012?

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Yesterday, the New York Post ran a story saying that former New York GOP head William Powers is certain President Obama will ask Governor Andrew Cuomo to be his vice presidential candidate for the 2012 elections. "I don't think there's any doubt Obama is going to pick him as his running mate," Powers told the paper. The move makes sense, Powers insists, because "Andrew had a fabulous session. It was fabulous. A property-tax cap, ethics reform and, for Democrats, gay marriage."

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Government Narrowly Avoids Shutdown

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via Good Men Project
The government was this close to shutting down last night but managed to reach an eleventh-hour (literally) compromise before the midnight deadline. House Speaker John "Smarmy" Boehner presented the laundry list of spending cuts and revisions and got Congress' positive response just before 11 p.m. What does this mean? It means that our government is still functioning -- for now -- and it means $38.5 billion in spending cuts. More »

Joe Biden Feeds the Trolls on Yahoo! Answers

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Yahoo! Answers, tough questions
Yahoo! Answers ranks barely above YouTube comments as the saddest, scummiest place for bizarre questions and offensive anonymous responses on the mainstream internet. So it's a bit strange, but not exactly surprising that President Barack takes to YouTube to connect with the people and "win the future" or whatever, and then people just ask him about pot. Vice President Joe Biden, meanwhile, gets stuck with Yahoo! Answers for some reason, where he will answer questions throughout the week about last night's State of the Union. Surprise: the questions are not very good!

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Biden Being Biden: Vice President Owes Big Money for Campaign Violations

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It must be tough to operate in the shadow of the ever-cool Obama. Vice President Joe Biden is cut from a different cloth -- and cut sloppily -- where gaffes are to be expected and have become mostly endearing. "If there were no gaffes, there'd be no Joe," said Lindsey Graham. No big fuckin' deal, right? Except sometimes when you done goofed, there are consequences. This time for Biden, it's fines to the tune of $200k.

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