Kid Rock & Paul Ryan Rock Out to 'Bawitdaba' in Michigan

"So one of us is running for Vice President, but only one of us listened to 'Bawitdaba' on the way over here in the Secret Service motorcade," Paul Ryan said this morning at a rally in Royal Oaks, Michigan.

Miriam Coleman of Rolling Stone reported today that Kid Rock came out in support of the VP nominee to an audience of 160 people who each paid around $500 to see Detroit's gung-ho spokesperson and Ryan himself. The performance comes as a pre-game for the RNC this upcoming week, where Kid Rock, along with Lynyrd Skynyrd, Trace Adkins and Journey, will headline the family fun in Tampa.

Kid Rock's appearance rides the coat tail of the musical forces behind this election; some of which we wrote about last weekend (Paul Ryan's edgy relationship with Rage Against the Machine; Hank Williams, Jr., reminding audiences that "we all hate Obama;" etc.). 

And, to Ryan, the cowboy baby is a symbol of something that can only happen in America.

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We All Hate Obama -- Hank Williams, Jr., Just Had to Remind Us

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The man of the hour.
After today's news that Paul Ryan is a huge Rage Against the Machine fan, we are continuing into the weird vortex of politics and music. And what a strange place it always tends to be.

Yesterday was the Iowa State Fair and, headlining the Midwestern fun in the infamous caucus state, Hank Williams, Jr., was out in full force. The country singer played all his hits - we forgot the names but we assure you that they were some great tracks - and the crowd loved him. Especially after he said some harsh words about the commander-in-chief.

Joe Lawler, a reporter for the Des Moines Register, stood in the crowd and witnessed Hank play a relatively calm show... until the end. Before the show's close, the singer yelled out,

"We've got a Muslim President who hates farming, hates the military, hates the U.S. and we hate him!"

Whelp.
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Little Girl Acts Like a Modern Woman to Make a Mockery of All of Us

In a video that will be oddly reminiscent of all of our lives (except we don't drive, and we rarely threaten to sue -- only if we're really, really angry), here is a little girl living the life of a modern woman: Wake up, dress, go to work, work (mediocre typing included), go home, eat dinner (and wine), and do it all over again. Yep, sounds about right. Except she does it cuter than we do.

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Depressing Subway Poem Is Depressing Again, Thank God


You know that horrible, dank underground passage that connects Times Square and Port Authority, the one which is just too long for you to hold your breath the whole way through, but you're kind of scared to inhale, at the same time? If you've ever been there, you've surely seen the words installed on the overhead beams as you pass by. They read, as you can see in the video above, "Overslept / So tired / If late / Get fired / Why bother? / Why the pain? / Just go home / Do it again." This is an actual poem called "The Commuter's Lament/A Close Shave," by Norman Colp, and it has been there for 20 years, announcing its perfectly New York message to the world, until recently two college students tried to make it happy. What nerve.


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Your Modern-Day Thanksgiving Guide to Getting Through the Holiday With Only Slightly Less Dignity Than You Started With

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This is not your grandmother's "How to Survive Thanksgiving" guide. It's not even your spinster aunt's. This is far more about you and the troubles a modern-day busy and productive person with a job and responsibilities and a life, for the love of God -- even if that life is just DVRing TV shows you can't even remember anymore and then being too busy to watch them -- will face when the whole family gathers to celebrate one of the most festive-yet-deeply-fraught events of the season.

Let's start with the good: Chances are, you have some days off this week. Maybe you're taking an extra day, perhaps to travel so that you don't have to contend with all the insane people traveling on Wednesday. Perhaps you are not so lucky. You still, we hope and pray, have Thursday through Sunday off. That's four whole days! And, if not, and you have to work, you don't really need this guide anyway because you have been excused from dealing with your family.

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Man Who Wrote About Suicide on Mountain Dew's Facebook Page Says 'It Was a Joke'

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The above screengrab (via Reddit) from Mountain Dew's Facebook page shows a man's apparent cry for help. Naturally, this has spread around the internet, and people have found it anywhere from hilarious to disturbing and offensive. Runnin' Scared got in contact with Michael Abraham, the man who made the above post, and he says it was all a joke. Why would he do that to DEW Nation?

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10 Real-Life Etiquette Tips for Men, From a Woman

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Today the Huffington Post has an intriguing entry (with slideshow!) from Daniel Post Senning, who happens to be Emily Post's great-grandson. He explains that etiquette is not just for women, oh no -- it is for men, too, and men, in fact, "are hungry to know what to do, what is expected of them and how to distinguish themselves."

We are glad of this news, for lack of etiquette, whether from man, woman, or animal, is something that bothers us immensely. But...pardon us for being rude...Emily Post's great-grandson does not seem to frequent our social circles, and thus, his essential etiquette tips -- get good at writing thank you notes? Ask permission to hold open a door for someone? RSVP? -- are a bit, well, let's just say "high-minded" for our ilk. In terms of etiquette, we suggest starting small and working your way up! Here are our 10 real-life etiquette tips. While we're ostensibly doling them out to hungry men, really, they go for women, too. Etiquette knows no gender.

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Puppy Makes Grown Man Weep [VIDEO]

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via Animal Planet
Marvin is terrified of pit bulls because of a traumatic experience he had as a child. Forty years ago, this fear would have been undiagnosed and Marvin's phobia would be his secret shame. Because it is 2011, the world gets to watch Marvin break down in tears when confronted by a puppy on Animal Planet's My Extreme Animal Phobia. Isn't progress great? Video after the jump.


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71 Things to Do While You Wait for Breaking Dawn to Finally Be Out in Theaters

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Unless you are a fan of the Twilight saga (and if you're not, what is WRONG with you?), you may not be aware that Breaking Dawn, the finale of the series, in which Bella and Edward actually make a vampire-human baby, will be out in theaters on November 18. This is only part one of the finale, because it was so exciting and sexy that they had to split it in two, much like the vampire and human portions of Baby Cullen-Swan -- otherwise we all would simply expire from the thrill of watching it. Also, we would have to get up at least once to pee because it would be a very long movie, and then we would miss something important, and we hate that. In any case, by serving two separate portions of the film, one now and one later, there is delayed gratification. This is good for everyone, not least, the movie makers, and also is sort of fitting for an entire series about waiting until you are married to have sex with a vampire. (Subtext!)

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An Evening With the Most Powerful Bachelors and Bachelorettes in Media

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Not in attendance, to our knowledge.
"If I get drunk and puke on my shoes, don't write about it. Or at least ask me first."

Runnin' Scared dutifully jotted down that request as we waited for two of the most powerful bachelorettes in media, and one of the bachelors, to finish their tequila gimlets. We were standing in a crowded Mexican place across the street from the most power-clogged singles event of the summer -- the Media Power Singles Power Mixer, hosted by the New York Observer, creator of those slideshows we gave ourselves the burden of fact-checking last week.

Before the night's end, at least two men would be punched in or around the face; Runnin' Scared would engage in a shouting match with an editor of a competing publication; our notes would become so illegible as to not be of any use; plans would be made (and then forgotten) to crash Bill Keller's party; and Runnin' Scared would accidentally photobomb a certain "wunderkind" New York Times media reporter. And we weren't even there for the whole thing.

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