"Trends"

The 'Hipster'-est Words in NPR's Definitive Piece About Hipsters

By Jen Doll Fri., Nov. 18 2011 at 4:26 PM
Categories: "Trends", Hipster Fashion, Hipster Ppl, Hipsters, Hipsters, Hipsters, Hipsters!, Jen Doll, Lessons in Semantics

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You know it's over when you're an NPR article. Or a costume.
Yesterday NPR posted an article called "The Hipsterification of America." We are momentarily lifting our ban on the word hipster to address it, because it is, indeed, something special, and should be publicly recognized. Never in the history of writing about hipsters have so many hipster terms, most particularly, the word hipster itself, been utilized! Herewith, all the words, in the order they appear, with repetitions included. Hipster, hipster, hipster. Hipster.

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Minor Insufferable Annoyances

The Epic A to Z Guide of Expressions That Should Be Retired From the Internet (and IRL)

By Jen Doll Mon., Nov. 14 2011 at 12:32 PM
Categories: Jen Doll, Lessons in Semantics, Minor Insufferable Annoyances, Things About Us, Things About You, Things Bloggers Blog About, Things That Are Tired., WE CAN HAZ READERS, What Not to Do

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Oh. Hi.
There are times in the great big blogoverse in which we are faced with the fact that certain things we have been doing are somewhat or hugely annoying. Upon that discovery, we generally continue to do those things, but with a nagging feeling of guilt and self-doubt that only continues to grow in intensity until we can't stand it any longer and throw up our hands and shout, "Make it stop!" And then, we blame everyone else, because they made us do it.

In a similar vein, and because it's Monday, here is a hand-crafted artisanal guide of commonly used words and phrases that we can take no longer, whether online or outside the confines of an internet connection. Mostly we hate them because they are overused, lazy, cliched, boring, deplorably cutesy, or could be better put another way. Other times we hate them because, well, frankly, haters gonna hate. Read on, after the jump.

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Lessons in Semantics

New York Post Defines 'Hamptons House Ho'

By Jen Doll Thu., Aug. 11 2011 at 6:21 PM
Categories: Hamptons, Schmamptons, Jen Doll, Lessons in Semantics, Rich People, Sex, What Recession

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Should you not know, now you do: A "Hamptons house ho" is a young lady of perhaps working-class means who escapes her dull workaday life and embarks on a jaunt to Long Island's narrow beach-dappled sections during the months in which sun shines down on all of us, swapping her white Reebok high-tops for a pair of borrowed pumps with a Sharpie-drawn scarlet sole, and attracting a man from the upper echelons of a society she dares to enter. As you may have read in your favorite Jane Austen novel, this not terribly goodly woman will exchange favors of a bodily sort for getting to stay in a mansion, and the kind of mansion she chooses designates the kind of woman she is. The New York Post has interviewed a few guys who are profiting advantageously from this situation. They are very open-minded!

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Legal

Best Buy Thinks It Owns the Word 'Geek'

By Jen Doll Mon., Jun. 20 2011 at 6:10 PM
Categories: Bad Publicity, Jen Doll, Legal, Lessons in Semantics, Technology

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Baby Geek.
In this day and age, when Palin family members trademark themselves, corporations want to own words, particularly, words used for marketing purposes. So, while "geek" used to be just a techy offshoot of "nerd," something you could call the smartest guy in your computer class, now it's a word that can get you sued by Best Buy if you use it in a public way. The Wall Street Journal reports that Newegg.com was recently threatened with a cease and desist after Best Buy (whose tech support service goes by the name "Geek Squad") caught wind of its ad slogan: "Geek on." But isn't "geek" a word that should be fair game to computer businesses, just like "cool" is to air-conditioner purveyors?

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Lessons in Semantics

Oxford English Dictionary Now Comes With 'ZOMG,' 'NSFW,' 'Nekkid'

By Jen Doll Fri., Jun. 3 2011 at 5:39 PM
Categories: Internet, Jen Doll, Lessons in Semantics, This Modern World

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Yet again the Oxford English Dictionary (Online) proves how totally radical it is, incorporating a bunch of new words that the cool kids have been saying long enough to have stopped saying. The 35 new words added this week include
"baby bump," "bestie," "bucket list," "coconut water," "lappy" (your laptop), "lifehack," "man cave," "meep," "nekkid," "NSFW,"'roid," "Twittersphere," "unfollow," and "ZOMG." Here's the definition of that last one:

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Lessons in Semantics

What Mobster's Expressions Really Mean: An Investigation

By Jen Doll Thu., Apr. 14 2011 at 10:35 AM
Categories: Jen Doll, Language, Lessons in Semantics, Mafia, New York Times, The Mafia

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Mobsters have a special way of speaking that is all their own, which you probably already know, having watched any number of the excellent mafia-themed films available on Netflix and your various cable channels. The New York Times has an intriguing look into some of the more "esoteric" of those expressions, as revealed by secretly recorded conversations between Vincent Basciano and mob boss Joseph Massino during Basciano's trial for the murder of Randolph Pizzolo. There are many colorful terms and phrases!

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Secret Sex Lives

Rentboy-Hiring Minister George Alan Rekers Likes a "Long Stroke"; Even the Family Research Council Thinks He's Gay

By Jen Doll Thu., May 6 2010 at 8:23 PM
Categories: Jen Doll, Lessons in Semantics, Secret Sex Lives, Secrets, Sex, Stating the Obvious

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Photo by Brandon K. Thorp
Rekers manhandles the luggage at Miami International while his escort waits patiently.
There are certain truths you can count on in life. What goes up must come down. Drinking copiously and often will age you before your time, but who wants to live that long anyway? And, the Baptist ministers who are also prominent anti-gay activists and hardcore right-wing nut jobs are almost always in the market for a little boy-on-boy fun time.

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Trends

New "Retrosexuals" Really Just Metrosexuals With a Wardrobe Change

By Jen Doll Wed., Apr. 7 2010 at 11:18 AM
Categories: Fashion, Jen Doll, Lessons in Semantics, Trends

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Metrosexual? Retrosexual? Guy waiting for the subway?
The Philadelphia Inquirer is drooling all over the "Retrosexual," a delightful new character in today's great "Menaissance." Think Don Draper-esque manly men with cigars and bespoke suits, pomaded and primped to dapper 1950s glory.

Take Leo Mulvihill, Drexel University law student and purported Retrosexual, a fellow who sashays around campus "sporting a vintage Brooks Brothers three-piecer and authentic 1960s Florsheims, his trilby cocked just so."

Oh dear.

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Lessons in Semantics

David Paterson v. Shelly Silver: An Epic Battle of the Snarks (or, Like, Not)

By Jen Doll Mon., Mar. 29 2010 at 8:34 AM
Categories: Accidental Governor, Albany, Lessons in Semantics, The Economy
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​As if we needed proof that life is just like high school, and high school is just like middle school, and mean girls are everywhere: This weekend in Albany, Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver (who, BTW, never would have gotten past the first wave of cheerleading tryouts) got all pissy when Governor Paterson failed to complete his portion of the group social studies project (thereby, like, seriously compromising Silver's entire college career) and totally went there with his beef, announcing the following to everybody in the General Budget Conference Committee:More »
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