It's like this outside, but without the leaves.

​As of writing, it is 62 degrees in New York City. Fahrenheit! If you aren't a numbers person, let us translate: It's comically pleasant outside. People are wearing T-shirts, dogs are going doggie jacket-less, and everyone is happy because they don't have to deal with the bleak frigidness of yet another day of harrowing winter. Things are going to cool down when the sun sets, but you still have some time to enjoy this unseasonable warmth. Here are 10 things to do outside this afternoon.

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​After compiling our list of the most-read Village Voice stories of 2011, we got to thinking about what the new year will bring. While it's impossible to accurately foresee the coming news cycle, we've used complex algorithms and web-based analytics to predict ten stories that will rock the world this year.

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​The year-end list is an odd phenomenon. In the past, they were one-offs newspapers ran to fill space during the holiday doldrums. Because the Internet is basically an excuse to run slideshows and top tens, year-end lists take center stage. You've read dozens of these pointless and arbitrary rankings in the past week, so we present to you the most pointless and arbitrary year-end list of them all: The top ten numbers used in year-end top ten lists.

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​After midnight tonight, as you are finishing your seventh screwdriver and fishing your phone out of the toilet, you are expected to make a promise to yourself, a resolution. These often turn out to be hollow gestures; the unused gym membership, the Rosetta Stone disc gathering dust on your desk, the AA sponsor's corpse underneath your floorboards.

It doesn't have to be like this.

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James Worrell

​Looking back, 2011 has been quite a year, especially on the gay rights front, one of our major beats. Like the cardiac organ caught in a bear trap accompanying Jen Doll's "Plight of the Single Lady," there were times when, objective reporter or not, the stories we were reporting here at the Voice grabbed our grizzled, hardened heart and refused to let go.

And so we ask you, dear readers, to indulge us in the rare use of the first person singular as we reflect on some of the stories that touched and moved us to report over the past 12 months.

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​In light of the latest suspicious package left on public transit, which led to a shutdown of Times Square at peak commuting time (and, surely, got everybody's nerves up in a bunch, yet again, not to mention, is there enough coffee in the world for all of this?), it's time for a little PSA. Here are 10 things that we really need to stop doing. Call it etiquette, call it a movement for the betterment of society. Call it what you will. We're guilty of some, ourselves.

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If the font scares you, the satellite has won.

​Have you heard!? A satellite that's been alternately described as "massive," "bus-sized," and "six-ton" is "barreling" -- or possibly traipsing, stumbling, or lackadaisically meandering in its fancy shoes toward Earth. It's going to take until Friday to get here, and if it ruins our weekend plans, we are going to be pissed! It's expected to land "anywhere from northern Canada to southern South America," and there's a 1-in-3,200 chance of anyone getting hit with its debris, which, somehow, translates into a 1-in-20 trillion chance for "any particular person" to be hit. Before you get up from the computer and start pulling out your hair or eating a giant cake with both fists while shouting "What if it's MEEEEE? I have the WORST LUCK!" -- because what else are you going to do upon the news that a bus-sized satellite might, possibly, hit the Earth and land on you? -- take a few deep breaths. We are here for you!

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​Whether you've lived in New York for one year or 50, you will have encountered at various points the phenomenon of the New York City neighbor, that extending to anyone who lives next door, next door-next door, on the other side, upstairs, downstairs, somewhere mysteriously ensconced in the deepest confines of your building and forever untraceable, and yet, still, you can hear them talking!, outside your window and in the next apartment over, and so on. We are a city. You are surrounded by people, and that is true even when you're at home -- in bed, making dinner, eating an old, cold bowl of macaroni on the couch, doing yoga, or tending to your Chia Pet. You are surrounded. Following is a list of 15 people you may experience living next to, at some point or another, during your stay here. This is by no means conclusive. We are all originals.

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​Unless you are a fan of the Twilight saga (and if you're not, what is WRONG with you?), you may not be aware that Breaking Dawn, the finale of the series, in which Bella and Edward actually make a vampire-human baby, will be out in theaters on November 18. This is only part one of the finale, because it was so exciting and sexy that they had to split it in two, much like the vampire and human portions of Baby Cullen-Swan -- otherwise we all would simply expire from the thrill of watching it. Also, we would have to get up at least once to pee because it would be a very long movie, and then we would miss something important, and we hate that. In any case, by serving two separate portions of the film, one now and one later, there is delayed gratification. This is good for everyone, not least, the movie makers, and also is sort of fitting for an entire series about waiting until you are married to have sex with a vampire. (Subtext!)

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​A number of confusing metrics have been recalculated and re-algorithmed (sp?) and numbers have been crunched and lo and behold, New York has lost its spot as the number one fashion city in the world -- to London. London! And it's all because of Kate Middleton's unprecedented popularity. The Global Language Monitor, a media analytics company, has bestowed the top spot on its "Global Fashion Capitals" list to London this year due to its mysterious number-crunching; the British capital is followed by New York, then Paris, Milan, L.A., and Hong Kong. Although we are Kate Middleton experts, we're not in the business of fashion writing, so bear with us.

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