After de Blasio's Election, Glenn Beck Thinks New York State Should Secede from the City

Image via
We've been really busy the past couple days covering the mayoral election, and yet it somehow managed to slip by the whole news team that the age of progressivist communistic terror is upon us. Bill de Blasio is mayor, and soon we'll all be metaphorically and perhaps literally enslaved. Luckily, Glenn Beck is here with the solution. Not for New Yorkers, bunch of nanny-state-loving namby-pambies that we are, but for the rest of the state. That solution: they should secede. Yes. The state. Should secede. From the city. Stay with him on this one.

From Beck's high-tech bunker in suburban North Texas, the onetime New Yorker devoted a good chunk of his radio show yesterday to Mayor-elect Bill de Blasio's acceptance speech. In it, Beck saw dark harbingers of a totalitarian government in a city "that has gone insane."

"You wait," he added, "You won't be able to travel to that city soon. New York will become the next Detroit, if you don't stop it at some point."

More »

At Joe Lhota's Election Party, Less Despair Than You Might Expect

Photo by C.S. Muncy
Joe Lhota, conceding. See more photos from Joe Lhota's election night party here.
Right up until the last second, in a packed upper floor of the Gansevoort Park Avenue Hotel, Joe Lhota's supporters held out a little hope.

"No chance," a white-haired older gent replied, when asked if Lhota might win. "But he'll be a lot closer than what they're predicting." The gentleman, who didn't want to give his name, thought the poll numbers were most likely misleading, and that Lhota might get something in the neighborhood of 40 percent of the vote.

"I don't think people are very enthusiastic about stating their support for him," he explained. "But what they do when they're alone, voting, is something else entirely."

More »

The Daily Show Attends a Pre-Election Victory Party With a Dick-Pic-Snapping Bill de Blasio

Image via The Daily Show
Joe Lhota's next campaign commercial?
Election Day is finally here, and you could cut the tension with -- well, just about anything, really. The dull edge of a key. A butter knife coated in marshmallow fluff. A newborn kitten's tiny, gummy teeth.

That's because, as you're probably well aware, the main contests are all pretty much decided. In the race for Public Advocate, Tish James already clinched the Democratic nomination after a contentious, very expensive run-off with Daniel Squadron. Barring a sudden show of force by Libertarians or War Veterans, Scott Stringer will be your next comptroller. And of course, Bill de Blasio still leads Joe Lhota by 40 points or so, making that race, too, not quite a nail-biter. (As we showed you in our voter guide this morning, the constitutional amendments on the ballot do promise to be a little more interesting, specifically Proposal 1, which would legalize casino gaming.)

More »

Joe Lhota Wrote Some Buzzfeed Listicles, and They're a Little Sad

Image via Joe Lhota on Buzzfeed
Joe Lhota was once young and full of beer, just like you.
It's Election Day Eve, and Joe Lhota is still trying very hard to be your mayor. The latest polls show that about 65 percent of likely voters are planning to fill in the bubble for Bill de Blasio, versus 24 percent for Lhota. Those polls are, incidentally, about the same as where they were three weeks ago. It's not great.

But Lhota's a fighter, and this past week, he's gone into full-tilt attack mode: making a number of unkind suggestions about what Bill de Blasio should have been for Halloween (not a police officer, because "he thinks they are 'lazy';" maybe Silent Bob, because "he doesn't really have a jobs plan"), and, over the weekend, attacking de Blasio supporter Harry Belafonte for "race-baiting."

And now, in a bid to get down with the youth, he (or someone who works for him) has made a Buzzfeed listicle [Update: two of them!]. There are gifs.

More »

Lhota Accuses de Blasio of "Role" in 1991 Crown Heights Riots, Says He Caused "Further Violence and Division"

Thumbnail image for youngbilldeblasio.jpg
Image via Facebook
Young Bill, in phone mode.
This year's mayoral election is doubling as a kind of history lesson, as taught by two increasingly cranky middle-aged men who can't stop issuing passive-aggressive press releases about each other. First, we learned about Bill de Blasio's past as a young ├╝ber-liberal who spent time in Nicaragua, pulling for the Sandinistas. Then we heard about young Joe Lhota's love for Barry Goldwater and hatred of "Marxist tyranny." We are, thank God, moving forward in time just a bit, and appear to have made it all the way to the 90s: now Lhota is accusing his rival of having a "role" in the deadly Crown Heights riots of 1991, which pitted the neighborhood's black and Orthodox residents against each other.

More »

Glenn Beck: Bill de Blasio Will Make New York a Living Hell With His "Occupy Wall Street Attitude"

Image via.
A few weeks ago, TV person and spittle-flecked bow-tie-wearer Glenn Beck revealed a shocking truth to a blissfully unaware nation: New York City is well on its way to electing a "radical leftist" named Bill de Blasio as its next mayor.

"New Yorkers may be begging for their benevolent dictator Herr Bloomberg to return," Beck told his viewers. He then "exposed" de Blasio as a marxist communist socialist Che Guevara-lover who'd once traveled to both Cuba and Nicaragua, and warned that de Blasio is "a violent revolutionary taking over New York City." (Meanwhile, the actual news is busy covering the fact that de Blasio is now trying very hard to make nice with Wall Street.)

As it turns out, lucky for us, Beck was just getting started with his color commentary of New York politics.

More »

Young Joe Lhota Hated Communism, Overpriced Beer

Image via Facebook
Anti-Communist, but not anti-monster.
Much of the mayoral race's mudslinging this past week has centered around whether Democratic nominee Bill de Blasio is, in fact, a class-warfare-loving "Marxist playbook" user, as his Republican counterpart, Joe Lhota, has suggested. And since we were all wondering, the Paper of Record confirms it: This is something that genuinely has Lhota worried. In a New York Times profile this weekend, he described himself as a "virulent anti-communist," telling the paper: "It is a bad system, an immoral system, and one that takes away the rights of people and the rights of individuals. And everywhere it's gone, it's failed."

Lhota's been a student of the laissez-faire school since his college days, when he was crusading for the invisible hand of the market to guide beer prices at the campus pub.

More »

Bill Thompson Concedes The Democratic Primary Race to Bill De Blasio

Image via Twitter/Bill Thompson For Mayor
Bill Thompson ended his bid to become the Democratic nominee for mayor this morning at a press conference on the steps of City Hall. Thompson had previously said that he would wait until all votes were counted, despite De Blasio's unambiguous 40-percent-plus share of the vote. 5,000 mechanical votes and 80,000 absentee ballots are still outstanding.

More »

Farewell, John Catsimatidis, You Crazy Diamond

Image via Thomas Kaplan's Twitter feed
We knew this moment would come, but still, it arrives with a little sting. Incredibly far-fetched "independent Republican" mayoral candidate John Catismatidis was defeated last night by Joe Lhota, his more sane, less-fun-to-write-about opponent. But he wasn't defeated by all that much: Lhota took 52.5 percent of the vote, while Catsimatidis took 40.8, and virtual unknown George McDonald trailed with just 6.7. And while it's probably not all surprising that Cats, a perpetual, self-financed candidate, won't be getting anywhere near City Hall, we're still feeling a little wistful. Let's all reminisce over some photos and feel our feelings together, shall we?

More »

Advocacy Group "Anybody But Quinn" Got Exactly What They Wanted

They wanted anybody but Quinn, and they got one. Possibly even two.

The Anybody But Quinn campaign celebrated election returns last night at Mustang Sally's at 28th Street and 7th Avenue. Culminating there in that nondescript midtown bar at the northern edge of Chelsea was a four-year campaign to make sure that, no matter what, Christine Quinn never became the city's chief executive. The group's alternative? Anyone. Really, anyone at all.

More »