Because we've already scarred you with five barely watchable Christmas movies available on Netflix Instant, here are five great TV Christmas episodes you can watch on YouTube. They all come with a valuable lesson at the end , so be sure to watch each one in its entirety if you are a sanctimonious prick.
If you are reading this, it means you have withstood the first assault of the War on Christmas. We have taken the words of various talk show hosts and politicians to heart and are currently in our Christmas bunker, waiting for the unrelenting attacks from the sinister pleasantry, "Happy Holidays" to end. Unlike most wars, the War on Christmas is so subtle, people may be participating in it without even being aware. That's why we've made the following quiz, which will help you determine whether or not you are currently fighting in what was Christopher Hitchens' second-favorite war.
If you're anything like us, you are currently in a post-Christmas morning hangover (and if you're really like us, you're experiencing an actual hangover as well). The living room is littered with wrapping paper, the tree is beginning to look stupid, and your father-in-law is sound asleep in his armchair. (Or dead. He's probably dead.) In order to yank you out of your yuletide malaise, we present five barely watchable Christmas movies available to stream on Netflix Instant.
In caveman days, if you wanted to give someone something, it usually meant you had to go outside. Back then, being outdoors had about a 10% survival rate, so giving was reserved mostly for daredevils and idiots. During the dark ages, the only giving going on was of the bacterial kind, so the whole endeavor was generally pooh-poohed. In the eighties, giving was replaced by trickling down, and most people forgot how to do it altogether. Thanks to the Internet, not only is it better to give than receive, nowadays, it's almost as easy. Because Christmas is all about giving, we've listed a bunch of charities you can donate to from the comfort of your computer.
Reverend Senator Ruben Diaz, Sr., defender of Wal-Mart and namesake of a building housing a gay community center, is nothing if not a paragon of family values. So that's why we assume, when the highest holiday of his religion's year comes around, Diaz will be celebrating it with a Christmas party celebration for the whole family a Grinch-like "NO CHILDREN" allowed party.
What kind of freaky stuff will be going on at this XXXmas Diaz-fest that kids aren't allowed? Who knows. The mind can only imagine when looking at an invitation like this:
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