Bloomberg Outlines Plans for Post-Sandy Rebuilding

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Mike Bloomberg announcing post-Sandy planning initatives at a breakfast this morning.
In a speech this morning, Mayor Michael Bloomberg praised New York's official response to Hurricane Sandy, called for more action to control climate change, and laid out the next steps in the city's rebuilding process.

"Even as our recovery operations remain our top priority, we now have enough perspective to begin taking stock of what we did well -- and what we can and must do better," Bloomberg said, tracing what he called the "evolution of heroes in this city.

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Malcolm Smith: The Rockaways Need Help. Mike Bloomberg: "Fuck You"

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When Democratic Queens state Senator Malcolm Smith told Mayor Mike Bloomberg that he needed National Guard troops to patrol the Rockaways to stop looters from robbing victims of Hurricane Sandy, hizzoner told the senator "fuck you."

Not a figurative -- "whatever you say, buddy" -- fuck you, Bloomberg literally told Smith "fuck you," according to media reports.

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Bloomberg Donates $20,000 to Help Make Bridgeport's Board of Education Authoritarian Just Like Ours!

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Residents for A Better Bridgeport's website
What does this really have to do with the method of selecting board of education members? (Bridgeport Mayor Bill Finch, Left)
Amid the devastating aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, we learned that Mayor Michael Bloomberg donated $20,000 dollars to a campaign aimed at helping the mayor of Bridgeport, Conn. gain control over the city's school board.

Sound familiar? Well, that's the same level of power Bloomberg exerts over our city's school board.

Bloomberg donated the money to a Super PAC called Residents For a Better Bridgeport, which is running, to say the least, a rather misleading campaign to persuade Bridgeport voters to relinquish their power to elect the city's school board officials.

Bridgeport Mayor Bill Finch and RFBB are in overdrive trying to convince Bridgeport citizens to vote yes for mayoral control over education at the polls today. On the mailer sent out by RFBB, the PAC somehow equates losing the ability to elect school board officials with exercising a civil right.

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Mike Bloomberg Gets Driven to His Subway Stop -- Just Like the Rest of Us

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www.westernhero.com
How was your ride to your subway stop this morning?
New York City mayor Mike Bloomberg last week promised that he would join the riffraff by taking the subway to work this morning in an apparent attempt to prove that the city is getting back to normal following last week's hurricane.

The billionaire mayor's playing the "common man" is adorableand all, but here's the kicker: hizzoner didn't even walk to the subway station -- he was driven from his apartment to the 5 train.

The mayor reportedly left his East 79th Street town house just before 7 a.m. He was then driven a few blocks in a black SUV to a subway station, where he caught the 5 train heading to his office downtown.

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Mike Bloomberg: Marathon Will Give Us "Something To Cheer About." Shut Up, Mike Bloomberg

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www.westernhero.com
This guy (sigh).
New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg is on the defensive over his decision to go ahead with the New York City Marathon this weekend, assuring New Yorkers that the race will give us "something to cheer about."

We think we speak for the majority when we say the following: shut up, Mike Bloomberg.

As hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers currently are without electricity -- and will probably remain without power for up to 10 days -- several diesel-powered generators are pumping electricity into a media tent in Central Park that was constructed for the Marathon.

Those generators won't provide electricity for everyone who is without electricity right now, but it's a slap in the face to those who feel abandoned by the City -- a city which now appears more concerned with running a stupid foot-race than it is with getting the lights turned on.

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Mike Bloomberg Opened Homeless Shelters on the Upper West Side. Gasp!

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www.funnytavern.com
Not all Upper West Siders have this attitude. Just most of them.
The U.S. economy is in the shitter, and with that comes high unemployment, which, naturally leads to more homeless people. So in response to the spike in homelessness, Mayor Mike Bloomberg has set up homeless shelters in some of New York City's pricier neighborhoods.

And who lives in New York's pricey neighborhoods? Rich people, that's who -- most of whom don't seem too thrilled with their new neighbors or the mayor's decision to give them glamorous new mailing addresses without neighborhood consent.

Bloomberg -- who by our count currently owns 11 homes -- said in August that, "We have made our shelter system so much better that, unfortunately, when people are in it, or, fortunately, depending on what your objective is, it is a much more pleasurable experience than they ever had before."

In other words, New York City's homeless shelters perhaps are becoming too nice -- so nice that people don't want to leave.

This, apparently, is a problem for the haves in New York's wealthier areas..

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You Can Get a 1,200-Calorie Burger at Barclays Center. But You Can't Get a 20-Ounce Soda

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www.thelookingspoon.com
Mayor Mike Bloomberg's ban on big-boy cups for non-diet sodas at New York City restaurants, theaters, and sports venues has yet to take effect. However, the new Barclays Center arena in Brooklyn already is voluntarily adhering to the new guidelines, which limit cup sizes for "sugary drinks" to 16 ounces.

But don't worry, fatsos -- while you can't get a 20-ounce Pepsi, you can still get a 1,200-calorie burger.

So much for combating obesity.

Barclays has been lauded for its wide variety of Brooklyn-based gourmet cuisine. Included on the list of restaurants the venue hosts is Nathan's Hot Dogs, Fatty 'Cue barbeque, Brooklyn Cupcake, Blue Marble Ice Cream, and several other high-end/high-fat food vendors.

Just for reference, a 20-ounce Pepsi has 200 calories.

Further reading on Bloomberg's soda ban:

-I Just Drank 100 Ounces of Mountain Dew In 90 Minutes. Screw You, Mike Bloomberg

-Harlem Walking Tour Reveals Why Mike Bloomberg Is An "Idiot" And His Big-Gulp Ban Will Only Hurt Businesses

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Mike Bloomberg, Food Cop: Mayor Pushing Private Hospitals To Follow City Food Guidelines

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Hospital food, in general, sucks -- and thanks to Mayor Mike Bloomberg and his incessant war on flab, it's about to suck a lot more.

Hizzoner announced today that several private hospitals in New York City have agreed to follow the mayor's dietary guidelines used for city-run hospitals. In other words, hospital food at several private hospitals is about to be just as awful as the food at city-run hospitals.

"If there's any place that should not allow smoking and try make you eat healthy, you would think it would be the hospitals. We're doing what we should do, and you'll see most of the private hospitals go along with that," the mayor said this morning.

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Forbes: Mike Bloomberg Still Has Way More Money Than You Do

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Forbes released its 30th annual ranking of the 400 richest Americans yesterday, and there's a 99.9 percent chance that you didn't make the list.

Mayor Mike Bloomberg did, though, finishing 10th on the list with a net worth of about $25 billion.

But Bloomberg isn't the only person in New York with way (way) more money than you -- of the 400 richest people in the country, 120 are from New York state, with 53 hailing from the five boroughs.

And here's an interesting tidbit from this year's list that's certain to cause a little fussiness amongst the "99 percent-ers": The piss-poor economy that has millions of Americans out of work isn't impacting the country's billionaires -- this year's Forbes rankings finds that the average net worth of the billionaires on the list is $4.2 billion, which is up from $3.8 billion last year.

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Mike Bloomberg And His 11 Homes Think New York Homeless Shelters Are Too Damn Nice. Homeless Disagree

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www.nyeducator.com
King Bloomberg thinks he's coddling the peasants.
According to Mayor Mike Bloomberg, there's a reason the less fortunate are staying in homeless shelters 30 percent longer than they have in the past: New York City's homeless shelters are just too damn nice.

In response to a Wall Street Journal report that found the average length of stay for families with children in city homeless shelters has shot up by more than 30 percent during the last fiscal year, Hizzoner said the following:

"We have made our shelter system so much better that, unfortunately, when people are in it, or, fortunately, depending on what your objective is, it is a much more pleasurable experience than they ever had before."

It's that "pleasurable experience" part that has raised a few eyebrows (read: pissed off just about everyone).

We spoke to a few homeless people on our way into the office this morning, none of whom consider living in a homeless shelter to be a "pleasurable experience."

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