Michael Bloomberg Blooms with Magical Warmth in Official Portrait, Also Some Kind of Rash, Maybe

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Image via NYC Mayor's Office
The mayor and his flat-screen TV shoulder growth.
In a delightful end-of-year surprise to news bloggers across the city, outgoing Mayor Michael Bloomberg's official portrait was unveiled this morning at City Hall. You're looking at it. That's it. It's not a joke or an inter-office Photoshop.

In case your browser is blocking the image -- out of good taste, perhaps -- it depicts Bloomberg, arms crossed and some sort of flat-screen TV tumor growing from one shoulder, as the busy City Hall bullpen bustles behind him. His face is flushed with goodwill, or possibly rosacea. His nose appears to be in bloom.

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On Talk Radio, Michael Bloomberg and Ray Kelly Do a Stop-and-Frisk Victory Lap

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Michael Bloomberg
After yesterday's announcement that Judge Shira Scheindlin has been removed from the stop and frisk case Floyd v. City of New York, Mayor Michael Bloomberg and Police Commissioner Ray Kelly were feeling pretty satisfied. We know that because they appeared promptly on WOR 710, a news talk radio station, this morning, to pronounce themselves -- and the philosophy behind stop-and-frisk -- vindicated.

"We're very satisfied with the ruling," Bloomberg told host John Gambling. "It says basically that Commissioner Kelly can run the department the way he's been running it with my approval and support for the last 12 years, and bringing crime down." The mayor added that it was also a victory for the city's police officers: "A majority of them are black and Hispanic. They have had their names dragged through the mud over the last year. I think they deserve a lot better than that."

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Mayor Bloomberg Uses Weekly Crime Press Release to Make Subtle Jab at Stop-and-Frisk Critics

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Flickr user Rubenstein
Every week since August 27, just after the landmark court ruling which created a monitor for the NYPD's stop-and-frisk program in the face of heavy opposition from Mayor Bloomberg, the mayor's press office has been sending out a subtle reminder about the still-dropping crime rate.

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Mayor Bloomberg's Net Worth Jumped 59 Percent In the Last Two Years

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Barry Blitt, the New Yorker
Mayor Mike Bloomberg hasn't been going quietly. He's been spouting thoughts like that drunk guy who's stayed too long at the house party. Stop and frisk more minorities! De Blasio ran a racist campaign!

He's clearly savoring this rare moment in the public spotlight when he can really let loose. Without an election coming up, what does he care what we think? No longer confined to the rhetorical box of public office, he's now just a rich guy who can say whatever he wants.

So, yeah, he's turning the swag up a notch during his final few months in city hall. His favorability numbers might be sagging, but his bank account numbers are soaring. Over the past two years, Bloomberg's net worth has jumped 59 percent, according to the Forbes 400 list, which was released this week.

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Bloomberg Outlines Plans for Post-Sandy Rebuilding

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Mike Bloomberg announcing post-Sandy planning initatives at a breakfast this morning.
In a speech this morning, Mayor Michael Bloomberg praised New York's official response to Hurricane Sandy, called for more action to control climate change, and laid out the next steps in the city's rebuilding process.

"Even as our recovery operations remain our top priority, we now have enough perspective to begin taking stock of what we did well -- and what we can and must do better," Bloomberg said, tracing what he called the "evolution of heroes in this city.

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Malcolm Smith: The Rockaways Need Help. Mike Bloomberg: "Fuck You"

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When Democratic Queens state Senator Malcolm Smith told Mayor Mike Bloomberg that he needed National Guard troops to patrol the Rockaways to stop looters from robbing victims of Hurricane Sandy, hizzoner told the senator "fuck you."

Not a figurative -- "whatever you say, buddy" -- fuck you, Bloomberg literally told Smith "fuck you," according to media reports.

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Bloomberg Donates $20,000 to Help Make Bridgeport's Board of Education Authoritarian Just Like Ours!

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Residents for A Better Bridgeport's website
What does this really have to do with the method of selecting board of education members? (Bridgeport Mayor Bill Finch, Left)
Amid the devastating aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, we learned that Mayor Michael Bloomberg donated $20,000 dollars to a campaign aimed at helping the mayor of Bridgeport, Conn. gain control over the city's school board.

Sound familiar? Well, that's the same level of power Bloomberg exerts over our city's school board.

Bloomberg donated the money to a Super PAC called Residents For a Better Bridgeport, which is running, to say the least, a rather misleading campaign to persuade Bridgeport voters to relinquish their power to elect the city's school board officials.

Bridgeport Mayor Bill Finch and RFBB are in overdrive trying to convince Bridgeport citizens to vote yes for mayoral control over education at the polls today. On the mailer sent out by RFBB, the PAC somehow equates losing the ability to elect school board officials with exercising a civil right.

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Mike Bloomberg Gets Driven to His Subway Stop -- Just Like the Rest of Us

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www.westernhero.com
How was your ride to your subway stop this morning?
New York City mayor Mike Bloomberg last week promised that he would join the riffraff by taking the subway to work this morning in an apparent attempt to prove that the city is getting back to normal following last week's hurricane.

The billionaire mayor's playing the "common man" is adorableand all, but here's the kicker: hizzoner didn't even walk to the subway station -- he was driven from his apartment to the 5 train.

The mayor reportedly left his East 79th Street town house just before 7 a.m. He was then driven a few blocks in a black SUV to a subway station, where he caught the 5 train heading to his office downtown.

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Mike Bloomberg: Marathon Will Give Us "Something To Cheer About." Shut Up, Mike Bloomberg

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www.westernhero.com
This guy (sigh).
New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg is on the defensive over his decision to go ahead with the New York City Marathon this weekend, assuring New Yorkers that the race will give us "something to cheer about."

We think we speak for the majority when we say the following: shut up, Mike Bloomberg.

As hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers currently are without electricity -- and will probably remain without power for up to 10 days -- several diesel-powered generators are pumping electricity into a media tent in Central Park that was constructed for the Marathon.

Those generators won't provide electricity for everyone who is without electricity right now, but it's a slap in the face to those who feel abandoned by the City -- a city which now appears more concerned with running a stupid foot-race than it is with getting the lights turned on.

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Mike Bloomberg Opened Homeless Shelters on the Upper West Side. Gasp!

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www.funnytavern.com
Not all Upper West Siders have this attitude. Just most of them.
The U.S. economy is in the shitter, and with that comes high unemployment, which, naturally leads to more homeless people. So in response to the spike in homelessness, Mayor Mike Bloomberg has set up homeless shelters in some of New York City's pricier neighborhoods.

And who lives in New York's pricey neighborhoods? Rich people, that's who -- most of whom don't seem too thrilled with their new neighbors or the mayor's decision to give them glamorous new mailing addresses without neighborhood consent.

Bloomberg -- who by our count currently owns 11 homes -- said in August that, "We have made our shelter system so much better that, unfortunately, when people are in it, or, fortunately, depending on what your objective is, it is a much more pleasurable experience than they ever had before."

In other words, New York City's homeless shelters perhaps are becoming too nice -- so nice that people don't want to leave.

This, apparently, is a problem for the haves in New York's wealthier areas..

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