Financial District May Get a 'Tasteful' Nightly Light Show

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The Victoria Harbour Light Show.
When we think back upon the last few months in the Financial District, one thing we do not think is "Lower Manhattan should have a light show!" Nonetheless, that's what the Economic Development Corporation is after, a lighting initiative that would "transform the experience of [read: too dark/too quiet] Lower Manhattan at night," reports the New York Times. Because not enough tourists are flocking there after business hours. According to the Post, "The Bloomberg administration's goal is to attract tourists, residents, and new businesses and stimulate night life."

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App Makes Complaining About the Cabbie Who Wouldn't Take You to Brooklyn Even Easier

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Complaining about taxi service is something of a New York City hobby, whether it's justified or not. But the systems through which you can complain (calling 311, or reporting a complaint online) can be cumbersome, especially when you're still in the cab. However! There's an app for that, available free for iPhones and on the way for Blackberries and Androids. It has won an award, it's called Report A Taxi, and it is, basically, exactly what it says. Here's how you use it:

Download the app. If (and when, because you know it's inevitable) you have a bad cab experience, go to the app, enter the driver's medallion number -- you can also use your camera to take a picture of it -- choose an issue or enter your own, and enter the date and time of the incident, along with the location. Then submit. The guys on the other end will review and send your complaint on to the Taxi & Limousine Commission (they also tweet some of them). We asked the makers of the app a few questions about Report A Taxi -- and about what the reports have revealed so far.

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M50 Bus Wins "Slower Than a Lawnmower" Acclaim

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According to this year's annual "Pokey" award, the slowest local bus route in New York City is the M50, which travels crosstown on 49th and 50th Streets between First and Twelfth Avenues, clocking in at just 3.5 miles per hour at noon on a weekday, according to Straphangers Campaign staff and volunteers. The slogan for the winning (losing?) route, which was awarded a golden snail on a pedestal: "You Could Push a Lawnmower Faster Crosstown Than M50 Travels." It's also "barely faster than a pedestrian's typical 3.1 mph speed," explains the Post.

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New York City Gets Adorable New Scaffolding

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Scaffolding, pre-makeover.
What is the true blight of New York City? The awful, industrial scaffolding that crops up to hide the beauty of attractive things and make ugly things uglier, usually when you least expect it, truly ruining any photo op you might be planning on having. Just a fact of life in a city, and something we have to get used to, grin and bear, and ignore? No longer! The New York Times reports that a new, prettier scaffolding prototype will soon be enjoying itself on a street near-ish you. One will be installed in December in front of 100 Broadway, an office building in Lower Manhattan. This is very exciting.

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Welcome Back to Your Troubled Commute, New York!

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Do you take the 4, 5, 6, the A, C, E, the B, D, F, M, or the L line? If so, your Monday may be feeling excessively Monday already. The MTA is reporting delays on all of those lines, most due to signal problems at 125th Street. The L is particularly troubled, with the MTA advising: "Due to signal problems system wide on the L line, please expect extensive delays in L train service in both directions at this time. As an alternate, customers are advised to take the A or J train service at the Broadway Junction Station."

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The Epic A to Z Guide of Expressions That Should Be Retired From the Internet (and IRL)

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Oh. Hi.
There are times in the great big blogoverse in which we are faced with the fact that certain things we have been doing are somewhat or hugely annoying. Upon that discovery, we generally continue to do those things, but with a nagging feeling of guilt and self-doubt that only continues to grow in intensity until we can't stand it any longer and throw up our hands and shout, "Make it stop!" And then, we blame everyone else, because they made us do it.

In a similar vein, and because it's Monday, here is a hand-crafted artisanal guide of commonly used words and phrases that we can take no longer, whether online or outside the confines of an internet connection. Mostly we hate them because they are overused, lazy, cliched, boring, deplorably cutesy, or could be better put another way. Other times we hate them because, well, frankly, haters gonna hate. Read on, after the jump.

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After a Decade, MTA Will Say 'Sorry' Instead of 'Be Patient'

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Sorry!
Telling someone to be patient on the subway, or really, anywhere, has the unfortunate result of making them more impatient than ever, and sort of pissed off, actually, the MTA has learned. Thus, the "infuriating" announcements asking folks to please be patient are being ditched in favor of an apology for the inconvenience. Some other messages, in an advanced psychological manipulation move compliments of your mother, thank people for their patience ahead of time, reports the New York Post.

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NYC Marathoners Could Someday Make You Feel Lazy for Two Days, Not Just One

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Marathons! Here's the thing. We do not get them. No, we don't get them at all. First of all, is it really healthy to force your body to move that far, for that long? Isn't "nipple chafing" a sure sign that you're doing too much? But, fine, we respect your right to run for a long time and then wrap yourself in a shiny, robot-esque, heat-sealing blanket afterward. We respect your right to consume strange untasty gels out of miniature packets. We respect your right to wear those horrible shoes that make your feet look like fingers. We respect it! You are better than us, and we know it. But! We must draw the line at making the New York City Marathon a two-day event as opposed to a one-dayer. We simply do not have enough strength in our upper arms to hand out bananas for that long!


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Cabbies Told to Stop Honking So $%#& Much


Yesterday the Taxi and Limousine Commission issued forth a controversial missive to the city's 13,000 cabbies. "Drivers -- remember that honking is against the law except when warning of imminent danger!" it said, continuing, "be a good neighbor and save yourself a $350 summons -- honk ONLY in an emergency!" Emergencies include honking to avoid a crash and "to warn someone of a dangerous situation," a statement that could be applied quite liberally to cab transit in the city. Honking is NOT to make traffic move faster or because you are angry, the TLC instructs.


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Starbucks Offends Customer By Calling Her 'Phone'

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Marguerite McAfee
Starbucks is not only offending Alec Baldwin! It is causing trouble for regular people as well, particularly a woman named Marguerite McAfee, who had an incident this week at the Starbucks on Third Avenue and 23rd Street, her regular spot, where, she says, "The employees have seemed to me to be quite unhappy and, at times, rude to customers." (She keeps going there because it's convenient.) However, yesterday, the last straw was had. She was waiting in line to purchase a tall soy latte for $4.08, playing FlightControl on her iPhone, and, well, we'll let her tell it in her words:

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