Sam Levin

Mayor Bloomberg and the Muppets.

We didn't think it was possible, but this morning Mayor Mike Bloomberg held a news conference that was even cooler than his public appearance with the cast of Gossip Girl earlier this year.

The secret weapon? Muppets. Four talking Muppets. You can't make this stuff up, folks!

In perhaps the silliest Bloomberg press conference this reporter has ever been to, the mayor, standing in front of a huge screen displaying the words "NYC Family Fun With the Muppets," announced that the city's tourism agency is partnering with the Muppets in a new marketing campaign. That's right, Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Gonzo the Great, and Pepe the King Prawn are going to be the new spokes-puppets for the Big Apple.

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Maybe there is justice in the world. The NYPD will no longer pursue and ticket with abandon the various fur-clad creatures bringing joy and frivolity (or, annoyance and hassling) to your Midtown commute. The plentitude of Minnie and Mickey Mice, Elmos, Pusses in Boots, Grinches, Spidermen, and Hello Kitties lurking in Times Square are now free to get voluntary tips from tourists after posing for photos with them, or cajoling them in whatever way they do, as long as it doesn't involve blocking traffic, selling products or photos, panhandling, or being aggressive.

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Last week we introduced you to Noman, Elmo's bitter, unemployed cousin, a muppet who blames his lack of success on the fact that he's been horribly overshadowed by more famous, conniving, manipulative relatives...like Elmo. Noman is trying to expose Elmo for the "evil little monster he is" via, naturally, a web series. He, also naturally, has a Kickstarter. And he has a response to our initial post, an interview with his handler, Lamarr Williams -- Noman is pissed we didn't speak to him directly. Typical celebrity.

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Somewhere in Brooklyn there is a muppet that's been kept out of the spotlight, shadowed by his famous cousin, Elmo, and other too-successful relatives. His name is Noman, and he is four. He would be the black sheep of the family, except he is a muppet, and orange. Our heart goes out to him. Oh! But he has a Kickstarter, upon which this is revealed:

Noman is tired of everyone comparing him to Elmo and saying that he is a failure because he doesn't have a show. But he knows the truth about Elmo and he wants to confront and expose him for the evil little monster he is.

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It took a lot of imagination and thinking-outside-the-box for the Academy to come up with this year's Oscar host after Eddie Murphy said no thanks: it's Billy Crystal, who has hosted the Oscars approximately 40 times already. The number is actually eight, but still.

This is a safe choice, and not necessarily a bad one, but it does mean one thing: the Muppets will almost surely not be hosting the next Academy Awards.

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Eddie Murphy announced that he was bowing out of hosting duties for next year's Oscars today. This came on the heels of Brett Ratner's resignation as the show's producer following an unfortunate gay slur. Oscar hosting duties are now up in the air. Who will take the reins?!

Maybe the Muppets. Today we learned of a campaign to do away entirely with infallible human hosts and replace them with Kermit, Miss Piggy, et al. It's the idea of Charlie Poekel, a 27-year-old Greenpoint resident who works for a documentary film company. He's started a social media campaign to get the Muppets hosting the next Oscars. We chatted with him this afternoon:

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Google Doodles are often inspired, but rarely are they as fun as today's celebrating the day that would have marked Jim Henson's 75th Birthday.

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Why in the world would Sesame Street pull a segment featuring Elmo and Katy Perry singing a rewritten song of hers?

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Because sometimes we get a little patriotic, but mostly because we know you're either already peaced out of work for this glorious American weekend (Freedom Weekend?), or still at the office re-watching that Justin Bieber/glass partition video, again.

May you spend a productive afternoon contemplating the vast accomplishments of our forefathers, and the beauty of their subsequent memorials, and watching this excellent Muppet production, in which Sam the Eagle sings American Woman by The Guess Who...

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Can we not hurt the furries bunnies, people?

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