Dear Chris Rock, Here's How You Can Get More Black People to Watch Baseball

Chris Rock, Newark Bears owner? Here's the full cover of this week's Village Voice. Photo-illustration: Chris Rock, David Shankbone/Creative Commons; Body Double, Michael Harris, photographed by Steve Truesdell; Newark Bears Jersey by Ebbets Field Flannels (
On April 21 Bryant Gumbel aired a monologue by Chris Rock on his HBO show Real Sports. The comedian's topic was the deteriorating relationship between baseball and African Americans. Rock played it for laughs, but it was clear he was serious about the subject.

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New Jersey Boater Who Faked Own Death Surrenders After 7 Months on the Lam

Categories: Crime, New Jersey

Source: Screenshot, CBS Philly
Andrew Biddle, as seen in a news report after his fake drowning
On July 20 of 2014, the Great Egg Coast Guard station in Longport, New Jersey, received a distress call after a boat struck an offshore buoy, knocking the two men on board into the sea. The call was received just before midnight, and soon emergency responders began canvassing a 60-square-mile patch of ocean just off Longport, which is near Atlantic City.

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Why Does Penn Station Only Have Six Public Bathrooms for 650,000 People?

Photo credit: David Boyle via Compfight cc
You've made it to Penn! Just don't pee with excitement.
Penn Station entertains 650,000 visitors each day. And if at any given time even a small fraction of them want to use the bathroom, there's a good chance they could be waiting awhile.

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.NYC to NJ: Get Your Own Damn Dot!

Wikimedia Commons
Best thing about Jersey: Great views of New York!

Look out the window right now and you'll see a giant barge floating up the Hudson River from Red Hook to Riverside. And not just any barge -- this one's been outfitted with a giant banner, draped over a stack of freight containers, that reads: ".NYC Domains at GoDaddy. SHHH -- Don't Tell Jersey."

It's promoting the new .nyc internet domain suffix, which is accessible only to residents of the five boroughs. The idea is that dot-nyc domains will bring in revenue and entice local small businesses to build an internet presence.

And apparently, the campaign is aimed at encouraging New York City residents to gloat at our neighbors a mere bridge-and-tunnel away.

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TLDR New Jersey Primary Results: a Loss for the Tea Party, a Win for Ghostface Killah

Categories: New Jersey

Surfsupusa via Wikimedia
Steve Lonegan, pictured at a 2009 Tea Party rally, lost a primary bid to represent New Jersey's District 3 on Tuesday.
U.S. Senate

Former Reagan speechwriter and septuagenarian Jeff Bell will face incumbent Cory Booker in the fall after narrowly beating the closest of his three rivals for the Republican nomination, Rich Pezzullo, by fewer than 5,000 votes.

House of Representatives, District 1

Former Philadelphia Eagles linebacker Gary Cobb handily seized the GOP nomination, but he'll have a tough fight in against Democratic state senator Donald Norcross (winner of the special primary) to represent the heavily Democratic district in the fall.

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New Jersey Mall Shooter Found Dead From a Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound

Richard Shoop's page
Hours after police cleared the Westfield Garden State Plaza in Paramus, New Jersey, the shooter who walked into the mall just before closing time was found dead in a remote corner of the building.

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In New, Shutdown-Timed Ad, NJ Governor Chris Christie Just Wants to Remind You He's Good at Compromising

A still from the new ad.
This morning, for no particular reason--not because the federal government has ground to a screeching partial halt, and certainly not because he might like to be president someday--Chris Christie would like to remind you how good he is at compromising. The New Jersey governor released a new 30-second TV ad this morning, "Bipartisan." Against a soaring backdrop of Ferris wheels and beaches, Christie tell us, "I stand up strongly for principles, and I speak bluntly and directly, and I say what I believe. But I also know that my job is to get things done for the people of this state."

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Massive Fire Ravages Seaside Park, New Jersey Boardwalk, Rebuilt After Sandy

Image via NBC New York

A fire has destroyed much of the iconic Seaside Park boardwalk in New Jersey, including large portions of the Funtown Pier amusement park. Around 11 p.m. last night, after nine hours of work by fire crews, the blaze was declared officially contained. Overnight, it destroyed some 40 to 50 businesses, many of them rebuilt after widespread devastation during Hurricane Sandy. Councilwoman Nancy Koury told the Associated Press the fire had caused millions of dollars in damage. In a press conference near the boardwalk, looking shocked and sooty, Governor Chris Christie said, "I feel like I want to throw up."

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New Jersey Caves, Grants American Atheists President His "Offensive" Godless License Plate

Image via American Atheists
Dave Silverman with a retired "ATHEIST" plate.
Perhaps you thought the worst story yesterday about a religious minority being persecuted was the revelation that the NYPD has designated entire mosques as terrorist organizations, spying on imams, recording conversations inside the mosques, and parking fake cabs out front filled with surveillance gear. And if you thought that you were totally -- no, actually, you were right. But while the world was transfixed by the NYPD/Muslim injustice, one man was fighting his own (non)religious battle against the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission.

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Dubious Christian "Counseling" Organizations Sue New Jersey Over Gay Conversion Therapy Ban

Chris Christie points and laughs at gay conversion therapy (probably not).
Two New Jersey therapists, along with the anti-gay Christian counseling groups they belong to, are suing the state over the recently signed ban on "conversion therapy," an absurd, scientifically discredited practice that purports to turn gay people straight. Dr. Tara King and Dr. Ronald Newman are both suing for the right to pretend to change people's sexuality, arguing that the ban constitutes " immediate and irreparable injury to their most cherished constitutional liberties." Both therapists belong to the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, who have joined the lawsuit, along with the American Association of Christian Counselors. The suit was first reported by Courthouse News.

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