Where Do Your Taxes Go? Helpful Pie Charts to Educate You, the Citizen

Categories: Nick Greene, Taxes

After sending in your taxes today, you're probably pretty steamed. You watched your hard-earned cash get sucked away by the government, never to be seen again. But what if we told you it wasn't that bad, and that your money was actually going toward worthwhile causes on both the federal and state levels? What if we supplied colorful pie charts to back this up? What if those charts were clearly titled and attractively presented? Would you change your tune? Oh baby, you are in luck.

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You Aren't Enjoying the Masters Enough: A Guide to Watching Golf on Television

It has recently come to my attention that some people don't enjoy watching golf on television. "It's boring," adrenaline junkies say. "I need high-octane action to satiate my lust for thrills and chills." Other sticklers complain about the mise en scène. "There's too much green," they yell from their elegantly appointed homes. "The composition is uniform and bland!"

To these killjoys: You're doing it wrong. Golf is a great sport to watch on television--you just need to know what you are doing.

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Did You Know the New York Post's Anthony Weiner Headlines Include Wordplay?

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner is back in the news as he ramps up his plans for a potential mayoral run. If you have forgotten, Anthony Weiner resigned two years ago after a scandal in which he mistakenly tweeted lewd photographs he had intended to send to a woman who wasn't his wife. The entire ordeal was heavily covered in the press, and no one had a fresher take than the New York Post. Unbeknownst to most of the city, the Post hid clever wordplay in each of its covers. Don't believe us? Take a look at the examples below--they are a veritable secret garden of linguistic cleverness.

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10 Power Moves for the Utterly Powerless

Categories: Nick Greene, Power

We live in a civil society. This is a bad thing. Opportunities to flex our muscles and demonstrate our awesome power have become rarer and rarer. Power itself is marginalized, and demonstrations of said power are perceived as vulgar and tacky. How can you break through and show your dominance under such restrictions? Read closely, we're about to tell you.

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Michigan vs. Louisville: A Highly Scientific Breakdown of Who Will Win

Tonight in Atlanta, the Michigan Wolverines and the Louisville Cardinals will play to find out who is the greatest college basketball team in all the land. Will it be the Wolverines, who, behind the play of standouts Trey Burke and Mitch McGary, have ensured that your Facebook feed has been awash in your annoying Michigan friends' status updates over the past month? Or will it be Louisville, a team that has banded together to fight for fallen player Kevin Ware, who suffered a broken leg and is expected to make a full, healthy recovery whether or not they win?

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Warm Weather Activities for People Who Hate Going Outside

It's finally over: The longest winter in memory (which doesn't go back further than last spring) has ended. Forecasts for New York are in the 60s and life is good. No more complaining about staying inside because of the bitter cold, no more whining about not being able to ride your bike to flea markets, no bitterness about the months of non-al fresco dining.

Damn it, no more excuses for staying inside all day. But you love staying inside--that's where the fast wifi is!

This weekend marks the beginning of months-long guilt about staying at home when it's so beautiful out. Why not meet halfway? We've concocted some fun activities that give you the outdooors experience in the comfort of your own dark apartment.

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Should You Post That to Facebook? A Handy Guide

Facebook can be a tricky place. Home to over-sharers and extroverts, the social network can get pretty weird for the rest of us. It seems as if no one ever asks, "Should I post this to Facebook?" before posting. To help, we've asked that question for you, along with reasons why you should--or shouldn't--publish that status update.

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Categories: Bugs, Nick Greene

We apologize if the above headline is alarming, but we can assure you this spring's invasion of 17-year cicadas will be the most terrifying ordeal you will ever live through (if you make it out alive, of course). Don't believe us? USA Today ran an absolutely terrifying report about the imminent emergence (that's right, these guys live underground for years), slated for spring. Experts tell USA Today that the bugs are harmless and their appearance is a normal occurrence. Too bad we're not buying that for a second. Instead, we've highlighted the absolute scariest excerpts from the piece and accompanied them with the most gruesome cicada videos on the net.

Brace yourself: It will get loud.

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The 8 Most Ridiculous Products Marketed For Men

Did you know there was once a time when products were just products? Of course, now products are powerful things that decide your gender for you. Why else would companies spend so much of their time making "Men's" versions of even their most basic items? For the chance to sell twice as many of them by preying on the insecurities of men raised in a culture that trumpets superficially masculine constructs as shields against perceived weaknesses which are themselves the products of discriminatory gender-bias?

Oh, that's probably it.

To demonstrate this remarkably stupid aspect of our adorable society, we've found the 8 most ridiculous products marketed for men.

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Hey Companies, You Are No Longer Allowed to Participate on April Fools' Day

April Fools' Day has become, for lack of a better word, a shitshow. A day of pranks played on and by friends has metastasized into overblown theater perpetrated by news outlets, corporations, and even governments.

Did you set your sister's clock back an hour? Too bad, Scope has already goofed her with a fake ad campaign for bacon mouthwash that looks to have cost about $10,000.

Short-sheet your parents' bed? How does that compete with Sony announcing it's made cat headphones?

It's time to draw a line in the sand: Companies, you are no longer allowed to participate on April Fools' Day.

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