Lincoln freed the slaves in Washington, D.C. on this date in 1862

Procrastinating taxpayers: wonder why you're getting a couple extra days to file your taxes this year?

April 15 fell on a Sunday this year, so you can thank a Christian for the first extra day, as politicians are so terrified of offending them, they've never liked to do government business on Sundays.

But if you want to know who to thank for Tax Day being tomorrow and not today, April 16, consider thanking Abraham Lincoln.

Or, more aptly, think of thanking one of the more than 3,000 slaves living in the District of Columbia 150 years ago in 1862.

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Lobbyists who grease the wheels of government can sleep well at night: A study shows that businesses that use intense lobbying get a return on their investment that is "comparable to the returns of the most blistering hedge fund." They also probably can sleep well because they own nice, expensive matresses. The Economist reports that an investment-research firm created an index to track how profitable the act of lobbying is compared to broader markets. The so-called "Lobbyist Index" has outpaced the "S&P500 by 11% a year since 2002." The good news is that this proves government can make people rich. The bad news is that the government can only make people who hire lobbyists rich.

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via Wikipedia

Protesters in D.C. tried to enter the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum yesterday, resulting in the pepper spraying of at least one demonstrator and the closing of the museum. The Washington Post reports about 200 people tried to enter the building to protest "against the U.S. military's use of drones in overseas wars." The Post reports that the protesters consisted of demonstrators from Occupy DC, an offshoot of the Occupy Wall Street movement, and another group called October 2011. One protester was pepper sprayed after a guard was reportedly pushed "up against a wall." D.C. and Park Police were called to intervene. The museum reopens today. [Washington Post]

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Standard & Poor's downgraded the United States' long-term credit rating from AAA to AA+ last night. The company said that the messy and prolonged political squabble around the debt ceiling bill was responsible for the new valuation. "The downgrade reflects our view that the effectiveness, stability, and predictability of American policymaking and political institutions have weakened at a time of ongoing fiscal and economic challenge," they said in a statement. The White House responded that Standard & Poor's made a large mathematical mistake in their judgment, overstating the national debt by $2 trillion. [NYT]

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Moments ago, the House of Representatives passed the bi-partisan debt ceiling bill 269-161. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords surprised lawmakers and onlookers by returning to the House floor to vote "yes" on the legislation. She was greeted by a standing ovation. It was her first vote since being shot in the head during an assassination attempt in Tuscon on January 8th of this year. The bill now has to go through the Senate tomorrow, where it is expected to pass.

While most of Washington was bickering about the debt ceiling late last week, a bill made it through committee that, if passed by Congress, could affect your life much more than anything related to the deficit default. A House panel approved the Protecting Children From Internet Pornographers Act of 2011 19 to 10, CNET reports. Despite its warm and fuzzy name, the bill is a shockingly invasive piece of legislation that targets every American with an Internet connection.

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Republican leaders in the House of Representatives have put an end to the process of passing resolutions that are purely symbolic or celebratory. The Washington Post reports that last year, the House "passed more than 250, honoring everything from the Battle of Marathon in 490 B.C. to the IFC/Panhellenic Dance Marathon at Penn State University." Republican leaders argue these gestures, which "accounted for 36 percent of all the bills the House passed," waste time and distract lawmakers from more pressing matters. Despite our hopes that the first week of July would honor Balki from Perfect Strangers, we think Republicans are pretty much dead-on about this one.

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A member of the United States Marine Corp Reserve, Yonathan Melaku, 22, was arrested today for carrying a backpack containing "five pounds of something labeled ammonium nitrate," material that could make a bomb, as well as automatic weapon ammunition, near the Pentagon in Washington, D.C. ABC News reports that the materials -- "not a device" -- were found in four ziplock bags, in addition to a school notebook with scribbled words like "Taliban rules," "al qaeda," "muahidin," and "defeated coalition forces." Melaku has not yet been charged, though he was arrested in May for "vehicle tampering" in Virginia.

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Hey American, did you do the assigned homework for today? You were supposed to watch Obama's big debt-reduction speech! People are going to try to talk to you about it, what are you going to say? Sure, whether you saw it or not won't affect your response to the plan or the president; our small, lizard brains are wired to stick with the opinions we formed as children. However, it is worth keeping up-to-date with these things. Y'know, so we have stuff to yell at our loved ones about when we run out of personal attacks.

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After last night's late budget compromise and extension, Planned Parenthood has been protected from any government spending cuts (so far). Yesterday, the Washington Post's Ezra Klein posted a graph from Planned Parenthood demonstrating what activities they perform (abortion is excluded from federal funding). For curiosity's sake, we thought we'd take a look at the spending chart of a program that recently had their government funding cut: NPR. Below is a comparison of Planned Parenthood's chart vs. (our best guess at) NPR's chart.

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