Judge Makes Boner Joke; Judicial Conduct Commission Doesn't Laugh

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The New York State Commission on Judicial Conduct, where judges go to be judged, is under fire from the State Bar Association. The New York Times reports that a Manhattan lawyer's group accused the commission of being unfair to judges. Still, of the roughly 1,800 complaints made against New York judges last year, only one was removed by the commission. What offense contributed to this lone dismissal? Why, a penis joke, of course.

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Fortune Teller Who Scammed Wall Street Trader Gets Early Jail Release for Good Behavior

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Sometimes the headlines just write themselves. Back in 2008, when fortune tellers were a greater evil than Wall Street, an innocent but spiritual 42-year-old stock trader went to Tammy Mitchell's storefront "Psychic Reader" shop for a "diagnosis," and ended up paying her $487,000 to get the evil out of his life.

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Alleged Brett Favre Three-Way Involves Cock, Camera Phone, and a Pair of Lonely Crocs

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This morning Deadspin released what may or may not be a true story of yet another horny athlete (seriously, what are these guys eating for breakfast?). The tawdry tale concerns Brett Favre (you know, will-he-or-won't-he? Brett Farve), a boobalicious young lady (The Daily Line's Jenn Sterger), and some illicit and incriminating camera phone photos.

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Top Five News Stories We'd Like to Write Off With the Weather and Ignore Forever

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This month has been miserably hot and humid, spawning piece after piece about heat-related everything: from power outages to cooling stations and beyond. Having exhausted most of the humidity-ridden news coverage and digging for a new angle, the New York Times ran a piece pointing out that heat is the scapegoat for everything going wrong when it happens to be 90+ degrees. But is it?More »

Ed Hardy Condoms Bring Rise to Important Questions Regarding the Etymology of "Douchebag"

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Via The Gloss.
Why, exactly, is there an Ed Hardy condom? What's so Ed Hardy about it? Whose idea at Ed Hardy was this condom? What kind of person wears an Ed Hardy condom? What kind of person has sex with someone wearing an Ed Hardy condom? Is it okay to judge people involved with the manufacturing, distribution, and purchase of Ed Hardy condoms? What is now the "douchebag" in this situation: the condom, the person wearing the Ed Hardy condom, the anatomy of the person who finds itself with the Ed Hardy condom in them, or the person asking all the questions about the Ed Hardy condom? [FK]

Infographic of the Day: Of Lost and Marijuana Consumption Habits

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Apropos of nothing, other than the fact that yesterday was the Simchat Torah of Marijuana Smokers worldwide (4-20) and also the sixth-to-last episode of Lost, what follows is a scientific estimation of naming habits as related to Lost by marijuana consumers worldwide.

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Step Off, Pregnant Biotches

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Yeah, yeah, maybe you're 8.5 months preggers and about to pop, and evidently you really need those Uniqlo tank tops STAT to stretch over your cute belly and everything, but we ladies who have behaved responsibly and not brazenly added to society's widespread overpopulation don't look kindly on you cutting us in line. A Racked reader experienced this indignity -- nay, this travesty of justice -- nay, this affront to all of society -- today in line at the Japanese purveyor's Soho store (where this very blogger purchases her own jeans, not that any of the following is about me at all) and had to speak out. Because it's just not fair.

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Anticipating the Pope's Sexual Abuse Memo to Catholics

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In light of the hundreds of new sexual abuse allegations against the Catholic church, Pope Benedict XVI has a really, really good plan: He's going to write a letter. A letter intended to "help 'repentance, healing and renewal.' " He's going to sign it on Friday and send it out "soon afterwards." Soon? Doesn't the Vatican have their own post office? Anyway, we're going to see just how sharp of a wordsmith the Pope really is, when he tries to put basically all of Ireland's Catholics on ice with a letter. One that must be honest. Emotional. Empathetic. And a call to action promising real change. Until then, we can only anticipate what it's going to say. We've come up with the following preemptive rhetorical recreation, in a best-case-scenario letter from the Pope to his constituents.

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