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Occasionally, us local reporters here at the Voice like to stray from the confines of the Big Apple to bring you the truly bizarre. Here, in another installment, we bring you the Santa Fe, N.M. cop who forgot his dashboard camera/recorder was on while he engaged in a steamy phone call with a woman.

That's one big oops. It allowed a local media outlet to use the priceless headline: "Police Officer Caught Masturbating While On Duty." He actually says, "Show me those big, beautiful breasts, baby."

See the video and read the full story here.

Wikimedia Commons

As the dust clears at the Susan G. Komen Foundation, activists are wondering where in the name of Newt Gingrich's fake hair this rare victory for Planned Parenthood and reproductive rights came from.

Steph Herold, a Brooklyn-based reproductive justice activist, said that so many were mobilized in opposition to Komen because "playing politics with cancer is a particularly low blow."

"The media has finally caught on to the fact that there are thousands of young people who support reproductive health, rights, and justice, and that when you try to take away our rights, we will organize and we will win," Herold, who runs the site iamdrtiller.com, told Runnin' Scared. I don't think this will stop the attacks on reproductive rights, but it certainly has mobilized us to fight them."

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Two and a half months after the fact, Gawker's Adrian Chen has identified the guy who fooled Occupy Wall Street into thinking that Radiohead was going to play a free show at Zuccotti Park. It's this guy Malcolm Harris who writes for lit-mag The New Inquiry. He says he and his friends thought up the prank in order to get more people to go to Zuccotti Park, which at that point was still not at max capacity. Or something. It's all very odd.

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We are fans of drinking, yes, but never drunk driving, because, you know, you could really hurt someone (and often do). Thus it is with great disappointment that we heard the tale of Mount Vernon man Wilbert A. Elvy, 46 (certainly old enough to know better!), who was arrested in the wee hours of the morning on Tuesday not once but twice in a row, in the span of two hours, for drunk driving.

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Remember when Gail Collins called out Donald Trump for being a totally not viable presidential candidate in her column last week? Did you think The Donald was just going to take that sitting down? No, no, no. This week he responds in the pages of the Times. He really, really hates Gail Collins! Some highlights:

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Hello, class! What did we learn from the Cooks Source incident of '10, in which Judith Griggs, editor of Cooks Source, stole a recipe from a blogger named Monica Gaudio, who then asked for an apology, but instead got a nasty response from Griggs claiming that the Internet was "public domain" and that, frankly, Guadio was lucky Griggs had edited her awful piece. Griggs, whom it turned out had done this with numerous recipes, went on to be publicly shamed on the public domain that is the Internet, and Cooks Source was shut down.

This was a valuable, and rather inspiring, lesson for bloggers and writers who often spend as much time waiting to get paid, hoping they'll get paid, as they do working on their stories. Sure, Gaudio never got a penny for her troubles, but at least an Internet house had fallen upon the Wicked Witch. Unfortunately, there are those who have not learned the lesson.

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You may be better off going DIY.

Things you should know: When going to a voodoo priest, be sure to check his credentials thoroughly, as he may not be a real, honest-to-goodness, certifiable voodoo priest. He may be just a regular person, or worse, a con artist, who's looking to take advantage of people, usually desperate, who are seeking voodoo priests. For example, the "voodoo priest" who orchestrated a sex ritual that ended in fire and death last month in Brooklyn -- he was not likely a "real" one, not at all. Nor was he much good at "luck," which is why his assistance was sought in the first place.

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In case you haven't already taken a spill while riding your bike down the street all weebly-wobbly after "accidentally" imbibing too many drinks (and if you haven't, you haven't really lived), here's some news for you: Drunk biking is the second most likely cause of injury to cyclists, per a new NYU Medical Center study. Not wearing a helmet was the first.

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via the Daily News, what they look like, and what they're GONNA look like

The Federal Highway Administration wants New York Street signs to use their indoor voices. Apparently, the ALL-CAPS lettering, which has been around for more than a hundred years, is harder to read, and Lord knows how many people may have been INJURED due to that? It's going to take the Department of Transportation until 2018 to re-letter the signs with INITIAL CAPS ONLY -- we mean, Initial Caps Only -- and will cost $110 per sign for a total of $27.6 million for the 250,900 signs. OOF.

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For real, this is the guy. Via the Post/Gregory P. Mango

We can't help but approve, to some extent, of Andrea Peyser's dark, servicey exclusive today: "a warning to lonely ladies of a certain age." Why? The plight of the single lady, in a nutshell. We believe in learning from the history of our fellow singles. And in the case of Thea Miller, beautiful divorcee, and John Egan, a 32-year-old prematurely gray (but what a nice, full head of hair!), pot-bellied fellow with extensive sadface passing himself as a "globetrotting NLF exec," what we can learn is: NO, NO, NO.

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