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Occasionally, us local reporters here at the Voice like to stray from the confines of the Big Apple to bring you the truly bizarre. Here, in another installment, we bring you the Santa Fe, N.M. cop who forgot his dashboard camera/recorder was on while he engaged in a steamy phone call with a woman.

That's one big oops. It allowed a local media outlet to use the priceless headline: "Police Officer Caught Masturbating While On Duty." He actually says, "Show me those big, beautiful breasts, baby."

See the video and read the full story here.

Bryan, a star of 'True Life: I'm Occupying Wall Street'

Last week we confirmed that MTV's Real World is looking for Occupy Wall Street protesters to be on season 27. But that's not all: MTV is also coming out with an episode of True Life starring Occupy Wall Street protesters, as New York Times reporter Brian Stelter confirmed today. It focuses on protesters Kait, Caitlin, and Bryan, a member of the Sanitation working group we profiled last week who is also the star of the first promo MTV has already put out:

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Ted Hall, our nominee for Real World: OWS, in an emotional YouTube video.

Real World 27 is being cast -- at Zuccotti Park?? The Observer today picked up on a Craigslist ad that -- there's no delicate way to say this -- is a casting call for Occupy Wall Street protesters that would like to be on the Real World. That are ready to start being real, if you will. There's no indication that it's not a real ad:

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The New York Post has tracked down the so-called "most-hated woman in China," and guess where she is! New York City, of course. Brooklyn, to be exact. Working at a nail salon. Why? 26-year-old Feng Luoyu, described as an "Ugly Girl" seeking marriage with unsufferably high demands, was ostracized in China for circulating her requirements for a boyfriend, which included graduating from a top university, studying economics (or something like that), being between 5 foot 9 inches and 6 feet tall, being a native of eastern coastal China, not having kids, not having exes who'd had abortions, not being an employee of the state, and so on.

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File under odd coincidences. Michelle Matson, the Greenpoint bike-accident victim featured in our August 17 cover story, is going to be one of 14 contestants on BRAVO's Work of Art: The Next Great Artist season 2. Matson, for her part, is an SVA grad and a Brooklyn sculptor/artist who's been working for painter Marilyn Minter and fabricating paper sculptures independently over the last few years. She almost nearly died after a terrible Greenpoint bike accident during CMJ that local cops didn't really investigate, which we wrote about extensively. Now Michelle Matson has a reality TV slot and a solo show scheduled for January 2012 at the project space "Youth Group Gallery" in Brooklyn.

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Last Wednesday's Village Voice cover story profiled the DeBartoli sisters, two Staten Island sisters who starred in the never-aired Jersey Shore precursor Bridge & Tunnel and signed enormously binding contracts, legal documents that seemed to be written in another language but that they accepted anyway. This is standard practice for all its reality-show subjects, and though the following is a different document than the one the B&T girls inked, we've managed to get our hands on an unsigned Real World contract. The 30-page spectacular is worth careful scrutiny, but please enjoy the amusingly specific highlights we've summarized below. Happy birthday, MTV!

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Miss Heather at NewYorkShitty spotted this poster seeking "Hipstras" in front of T & N Wine & Liquor in Greenpoint yesterday. It may mark a new high in obnoxious terminology. You see, MTV is looking for people, who, given the illustrations lining the borders of the flier, are pretty much "hipsters" in the traditional or stereotypical sense (trucker cap, Jagger haircut, old-school sneakers, ironic 'stache, black-framed glasses, PBR [yawn]), but for some reason MTV is calling them "hipstras" for a show titled I Just Want My Pants Back. MTV is calling them this to indicate that said hipsters/hipstras get paid! Hipstra = Hipster paid to work in reality TV as an extra = Pretty much right back where we started. Go forth and conquer, Hipstra Nation. We'll be sitting here thinking "Lenny Dykstra" for no reason at all. [NewYorkShitty]

Related: Please Welcome "Hampsters," the Hamptons Hipsters

photo by Nate "Igor" Smith

This design probably wouldn't get you cast on the show.

SPIKE TV, purveyor of such televised testosteroney magnificence as 1000 Ways To Die and MANswers, has a new reality show in development called . . . InkMaster. Yes, the Maxim of Cable stations is looking for a few good human canvases who'd be willing to get the design of their dreams drawn on-air by "America's best tattoo artists." So if you're an old in the Tri-State area and you've ever wanted a back piece of the Braveheart battle scene re-enacted by the Muppets, now's your chance.

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Jerry Seinfeld's short-lived reality show The Marriage Ref was not only so-so television; it also had the power to ruin innocent people. Or so claims Howie Kohlenberg, 47, who appeared on the show with his now-ex-wife Christine in 2010 and now blames Seinfeld for the dissolution of their union. Kohlenberg told the Post that because of the show, his wife became obsessed with fame and left him.

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This photo came with the casting call.

Hey, look! A local production company is casting for a reality-TV show pilot about people who are "only physically attracted to full-figured partners" and are very enthusiastic to talk about "plus-sized" sex. The project just began production "two days ago." And a rep just phoned to ask if we could pass along the casting call -- someone just randomly discovered our recent feature "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks" and thought maybe we could help (though wouldn't use the word "fat"). Crazy coincidence! Here's the notice, thesaurus-raiding and all:

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