Henry Hill, Goodfellas Gangster, on Art, the Witness Protection Program, and His Adult Circumcision

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via Hill's eBay account
Henry Hill with Ray Liotta
Henry Hill was best known by Ray Liotta's face. An East New York native famously mentored by the Lucchese crime family, Hill was the Lufthansa-heisting mobster whose 1986 memoir, the Nicholas-Pileggi-shaped Wiseguy, served as the inspiration for Martin Scorsese's modern classic Goodfellas. As TMZ reported last night, Hill died yesterday in Los Angeles at the age of 69.

Hill's life consisted of well-documented involvements with the dirty businesses of narcotics, extortion, robbery, and one major point-shaving college-basketball scandal. Eventually he became an FBI informant and entered the Witness Protection Program until he was expelled for, in his words, "being a Goodfella." He then lived openly under his real name, relocating to Topanga County, becoming a recurring guest on Howard Stern, and hawking his paintings through an eBay store. In 2007, the enterprising ex-con opened a mob-themed restaurant in West Haven, Connecticut called Wiseguys. (An attic fire mysteriously broke out shortly after the establishment opened.)

That same year, the Voice spoke with the self-described "bullshit artist" about spaghetti sauce, his artistic muse ("whatever goes through my sick, fuckin' mind"), his Witness Protection Program dismissal, and "learning to fuck again" after his late-life circumcision. Reprinted below is an edited version of Michael Clancy's Runnin' Scared dialogue with the legendary gangster.

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The Saddest Handwritten Lost and Found Sign Created by a Child, Ever

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The pain of losing things: it hurts. Especially when that thing both has sentimental value and is your primary mode of transportation. Even worse? When said thing also does something that no other thing like it ever will. Right now, one child is feeling that pain.

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The Saddest Sign for Lost Jewelry in New York City, Ever

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You know when you lose something you really, really like, that can't be replaced, that is only special to you, but that isn't alive (and thus only receives a marginal amount of empathy from others)? How far will you go to get it back? What's the appeal you need to make? One person made a sign, and it would appear he made the right one, because it's the saddest "lost" sign for something-nobody-else-will-care-about-but-the-person-missing-it I've ever seen.

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Carroll Gardens Man Posts "Missing" Fliers for his VIP (Very Important Pants)

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via the New York Times
New Yorkers can be careless: We leave cell phones in cabs like they're loose change; we lose our dignity at bars every weekend; we get locked out of our apartments more than we would care to admit, and sometimes, some of us lose extra specially important belongings -- like this guy, Adam Grossetti from Carroll Gardens, did on his way to an audition, according to the Times.

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Charmingly Pragmatic Prince Seeks Louboutin-Losing Cinderella (Q&A)

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Moshe Billet
Moshe Billet found a black-leather peep-toe Christian Louboutin pump at 96th Street and Broadway on June 23. Knowing Louboutins are expensive ($600-$800) and that someone was probably upset to have lost it, he posted an ad on Craigslist and messages on Facebook and Twitter, as well as "found" fliers in the area. Gentlemanly, no? So gentlemanly, in fact, as to be kind of, well, unusual. We wanted to know more about what makes this sort of guy tick, so we met up with him at Starbucks for details.

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Runnin' Scared Dept. of Lost and Found: Mystery of Lost Rubber Duckie Street Art Persists With New Signage

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Remember when we first showed you the street art sign regarding someone's lost rubber duck? Or we when we showed you a follow-up by a separate party claiming to have found that duck (which really only lead to a rubber duck fetishist of some kind)? Well, there's been a new development, it appears.

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Mystery of 'Lost Duck' Signs Seen Around NYC Begins to Unravel

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Remember when we saw that LOST DUCK sign plastered over a mailbox outside our office last week? Well! The quacktastic [Ed.: "Quacktastic?" Jesus.] mystery has been beginning to untangle itself.

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Runnin' Scared Dept. of Lost and Found: Street Art Seeks Lost Duck, Possibly of Rubber Variety

Good Monday morning, New York City! In case you thought the world couldn't get any worse, some poor soul has lost something very dear to them, and what do you do when you lose something in New York? Two things: you can resign yourself to the fact that it is Lost and Gone Forever -- like your innocence -- or you can make some ridiculous street art about it and wheatpaste the shit out of your sign everywhere until you get it back. Or you can just lie about losing something in the first place to make street art about it with some kind of subtext nobody will understand. Or you can do it just to be subversive and withhold meaning for others to interpret, because the truth is, you have nothing to actually say, and most street art is pretty meaningless anyway, and all in lieu of getting you a job at an ad agency doing viral marketing.

Whatever. Here's a sign someone made about a lost duck:

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