Buy a Bed Bug Fart Detector

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There's now a machine that detects bed bug farts ("gas emissions," but that means farts basically, and farts are funny). The BBD-100 is a personal handheld bed bug detector that resembles an '80s teen movie prop and "is so sensitive that it will detect if even just one bed bug is hiding within six inches of the unit's probe." Paranoid New Yorkers will find the BBD-100's cost of $299 a small price to pay for knowing whether or not, and to what extent, bed bugs are farting in your house.



Carl Paladino Is a Little Stinker

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You didn't pass gas, it's just Carl Paladino's campaign mailer. The Tea Party gubernatorial candidate and wealthy businessman thinks Albany stinks, and he sent out a garbage-tinged mass flyer to widely diffuse his point. Not only does Paladino -- who won in the election upset against GOP front-runner, Rick Lazio -- want to de-stink Albany, he also hopes to fumigate welfare recipients in his crusade against all things smelly.

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New York Women Like Their Men to Smell Like the Inside of a Starbucks

Well, this is interesting. Smell purveyor AXE body spray took it upon themselves to survey ladies in various cities to find out how they'd like their menfolk to smell. (Note to men: Two of three women say they are actually more likely to make out with a guy on the first date if he smells good, which does not necessarily mean wearing AXE body spray. Shower.)

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Scent Company Perfuming the World With Happiness Tests Wares on Low-Income So-Bro Apartments

Manhattan-based fragrance company International Flavors & Fragrances recently tested "L'Eau Verte du Bronx du Sud" (the Green Water of the South Bronx), on the Sister Thomas Apartments, a low-income housing development there, to "infuse optimism and happiness" on the 200 residents, according to Bloomberg Business Week and New York's Daily Intel. The articles don't mention the possibilities of allergies, dislike of the scents, or distaste for the concept, though it would be nice if the ambient aromas dissipated all of those things. If this is what humanity has been missing all along, where do we pre-order a lifetime supply?

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