For the Love of God, It's Not 'Downtown' Abbey!

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Have you seen the extremely popular British period drama called "Downton Abbey"? It's all the rage right now. It won a Golden Globe! People are talking about it, watching it, DVR-ing it, weeping with joy and raising their glasses to it as we speak. And people and news organizations, which are bigger than people, are writing about it, and sometimes they're spelling it wrong. If you have, too, you are in good company. This is not to shame but in the interest of learning -- that wee "w" is tricky! Here are a few of the transgressors. Also, this is totally to shame.

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Adult Prom Is the Saddest Prom

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Here is a rarely discussed fact: Put the word "adult" in front of most nouns, and they become sadder, a bit desperate, somehow clinging to a semblance of youth while at the same time inherently denying it. Rarely does the word "adult" help a noun, because if "child" or "teen" or "underaged" is not specified, the default age group is already adult. It is with these feelings that we confront the New York Times latest "trend" piece, about "adult proms" -- rather the same way we tackle "adult diapers," "adult conversations," "adult drinks," and "adult dating." Embarrassing. But on to the prom part: Prom! Are adults really stuck on the idea that they didn't do their prom right in the first place, and that they need prom do-overs? Is this where therapy has gotten us? Full disclosure: We skipped our prom senior year because prom sucked. And we've never looked back.

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New York Times' Favorite Hobo Cannot Escape the New York Times

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Last week, the New York Times was positively thrilled to have located a real-life old-timey hobo in New York City (New York City!?) and wrote about the discovery breathlessly, with a bunch of old-timey real-life hobo references (see: "ramblin' man," "odd jobs," "wide open spaces," "front teeth missing," etc.). After the hobo indicated a desire to get off the island, it was presumed that he'd be seen no more, that he would dissipate like the dusty relic of another time that he was made out to be, a memory for Corey Kilgannon, the writer of the piece, and the New York Times reader lucky enough to have stumbled upon it before reaching his or her paywall limit. Ah, but a hobo cannot be controlled! A hobo goes where he wants to! So does the New York Times!

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Charlie Sheen Wants to Trademark the Crap He Says

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There are certain words that existed way before Charlie Sheen ever thought to say them, but when he finally strung them together in his particular fashion, they came alive! Thus, he would like to own them, or at least, copyright them. According to the actor's rep Larry Solters, Sheen is trying to trademark 22 of his favorite ranty phrases.

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The Bible No Longer Has Booty

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Well, my good Christian friends, the Bible just got a little bit less interesting. That's because some people could not control themselves and burst into hysterical laughter every time the minister said "booty." So, no more booty for you. The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops met and decided to replace all booty-calls with the phrase "spoils of war." In the 17 years it took "50 scholars and translators, linguistics experts, theologians and five bishops" to do this, they made some other changes, too.

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Wart Remover and Eye Drops Turn Out to Have Unfortunately Similar Names

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This doesn't look promising.
I mean, you could see how this might happen, right? The New York Post reports that a Queens man had eye surgery, went to fill his prescription for "Durezol," and the pharmacist at the Walgreens instead gave him "Durasol," which, oops, turns out to be wart remover instead of eye drops. Wart remover is not good in the eyes, but the man unwittingly used it anyway, causing "grievous personal injury." Ouch.

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Benjamin Franklin Had More Than 200 Ways to Say "Drunk." Here Are Our 10 Favorites.

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Dude was nonstop party.
Ben Franklin was just like us. Except, more prolific. With a hairstyle that would really not work for us. And then there's that electricity thing. But regardless of our differences, he would have made an amazing blogger (Poor Richard's the Tumblr!), and it goes without saying that we would have jumped at the chance to party with him. Thankfully, his legacy lives on in myriad forms, not least, in his cataloging of the many, varied, and special ways you might explain to friend or foe that you are "under the weather" in "that way."

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R.I.P., the Word "Dear"

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Dear Reader,

When was the last time you initiated a communicative missive using the word "dear"? Was it a parchment letter to your grandmother? Or was it a form letter to a possible employer you've never even met, one whom, given the chance to meet, you will probably never actually consider "dear"?

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New York Times Makes Accidental Dirty Joke: "Have You Been Plowed?" (UPDATED)

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Earlier we mentioned the New York Times question of the moment: "Have You Been Plowed?" We had to know: Is this unprecedented snowbound tongue-in-cheek fun for the paper of record? Or are they really just inquiring as to whether our streets still have white stuff on 'em? Alas, the headline has now been changed to the far less titillating "Has Your Street Been Plowed?" Boooo. Our inner Beavis and Buttheads weep.

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The 25 Sexiest Things We Are Thinking About RIGHT NOW!

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Everyday things can be sexy, too!
By God, today is full of sexy! There's People's annual "Sexiest Man Alive" countdown, of course. And Salon's "Men on Top" answer to it. Not to mention the pretending-to-be-less-shallow Daily Beast offering, "Sexiest Man Alive (On the Inside)." You know who's sexy on the inside? No one. That's why we celebrate people's outsides!

But all this sexy talk got us thinking. Why categorize the sexiness of actors and models and the occasional porn star/politician when those people are paid to be sexy, and just keep getting recycled in these lists? What about honoring the day-to-day sexy that's RIGHT IN FRONT OF US?

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