Today in Actually Useful Things: NYC Digital has a map of WiFi hotspots all over New York. Click on the little things -- there are like a zillion of them, be warned -- and the map tells you where the hotspot is, whether it's free or not, and its name.
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There's a lot of talk of evacuation right now in light of the impending arrival of Hurricane Irene. The city has already released a map of evacuation zones and evacuated the "most vulnerable" -- people in hospitals, people in nursing homes, and so on. But what does it actually mean if you're evacuated? Where are you supposed to go, and how are you supposed to get there, especially if the MTA has suspended all service? And how are you supposed to find out, given that all nyc.gov websites are currently down as of this posting? 
Waiting for a train at night is sometimes the scariest thing you'll ever have to do in New York. (Some stations are outside and cold.) So it's always good to know which trains are coming and when. Here lies one of the MTA's worst problems: nights and weekends are always so confusing! Who knows what trains will show up to which stations. There's a vicious rumor that the N train goes rogue at night and just stops at whatever station it wants -- it'll take the ferry to Staten Island and just drive around if it feels like it! But thankfully the brains behind the New York City biking blog Astoria Bike put together the most servicey thing we've seen in a long time -- a subway map exclusively for the late night schedule. Larger image after the jump, to help get you home.
There's been a spree of drunk toddlers of late. Perhaps that brazen child who wrecked the bar in the short film "Las Palmas" has been a bad influence. Perhaps that was just a short film that no babies watched anyway. But either way, in the span of one week, we have been faced with not one but two drunk baby stories: The tale of the child who unwittingly swilled a margarita at Applebee's, and the child who was given boozy sangria at the Olive Garden. The right people are doing the right things to stop this sort of ridiculousness (we suggest flogging the culprits heartily so they never waste alcohol on an undeserving toddler again!), so we won't get involved with that. Instead, we'll tell you how to know if you happen to have a drunk toddler on your hands. Knowing, as they say, is half the battle.
The drunk baby in "Las Palmas"
5 Bodily Fluids (2011) public service announcement from jason wishnow on Vimeo.
I actually didn't know all of these! This is servicey. Slightly gross, but servicey.
[via BoingBoing]
Many tourists (and New York residents) must come here wondering, "What museums are free in this city?"Dan Nguyen, a journalist, web developer, and photographer at ProPublica in New York made the ultra-servicey website IHeartNYMuseums.com in response to a request on Reddit. The website has a Google map with all of the museums pinned and color-coded. The size and colors of the pins tell you which museums are open, how much they charge for admission, and how popular they are. We got a chance to speak with Dan about his new site.
If you take the 1, A, F, or E trains, everything will be all fucked up all weekend. Sorry! A roundup: 
Zagat has come out with this "Essential Dating and Dumping Guide" thingie. They surveyed people about their dating habits and came out with a little guide to the best places in New York to go on dates (and to break up with people). Some of the advice or whatever is kind of sound. And most of it is patently ridiculous and I hope real people never follow it.
Here's a good pickup line: "I thought I'd stare at you close up."
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This evening at 6 p.m., you'll most likely be tuning into the Super Bowl to watch some football team play some other team. I think its the Packers vs. the Seahawks or something. The Steelers. The Packers vs. the Steelers.
A competitor in today's Puppy Bowl.
Look, you could join the lowest common denominator and melt your brain in front of one of the most grandiose commercial spectacles ever devised. But there are many more brain-melting options available to you today. A guide:
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One of our intrepid coworkers sent us this picture of a curb-moat monstrosity encroaching upon and nearly covering Houston and Allen Streets. Beware the southwest corner! Says our tipster: "People would walk up to it, stare, and walk away. The thing was probably 10-15 feet wide. I ended up crossing the street at Second Avenue." More slush etiquette here. Update: Via Patrick Hedlund at DNA Info, this puddle has been confounding pedestrians all winter. Can you beat it? Send us your pics! [JDoll]
Rebecca Flint Marx/@forkintheroadvv
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