Occupy People Fights to Reclaim Rightful Sexy Crown of Ryan Gosling

There's another protest in town. This one happens to be over the total theft of Ryan Gosling's much deserved Sexiest Man Alive crown, which People Magazine failed to give to him because they are fucking blind and also clearly stupid and Bradley Cooper, whatever, we can't even go on. But we will. For Gosling.

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The 25 Sexiest Things We Are Thinking About RIGHT NOW!

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Everyday things can be sexy, too!
By God, today is full of sexy! There's People's annual "Sexiest Man Alive" countdown, of course. And Salon's "Men on Top" answer to it. Not to mention the pretending-to-be-less-shallow Daily Beast offering, "Sexiest Man Alive (On the Inside)." You know who's sexy on the inside? No one. That's why we celebrate people's outsides!

But all this sexy talk got us thinking. Why categorize the sexiness of actors and models and the occasional porn star/politician when those people are paid to be sexy, and just keep getting recycled in these lists? What about honoring the day-to-day sexy that's RIGHT IN FRONT OF US?

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The Brett Favre Image Rehabilitation Contest: The Dongshops Are Coming!

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Last week, on the revelation that former New York Jets quarterback Brett Favre had supposedly texted pictures of his penis to former Jets sideline reporter Jenn Sterger, we decided to have ourselves a contest: take the picture in question, and fill in the blank left once Favre's penis was removed from the action. The results?

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The Brett Favre Image Rehabilitation Contest: Replace the Penis!

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As we told you would happen last night, Gawker Media sports site Deadspin.com has published what they suggest (through careful wording) aren't-officially-but-of-course-they-are photographs of former New York Jets quarterback Brett Favre's penis, which he sent to Jets sideline reporter Jenn Sterger. If you don't want to have to sit through a video to see them, you can just click [NSFW, because it's a picture of what's likely Brett Favre's penis] right here.

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Sad Things for Lonely People: Anna Chapman's Hot Spy Mugshot

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via New York Post
Have you grown bored with the same old Anna Chapman images (you know, the sexy spy! The first one!) that have been circulating the Internet for untold weary days? Take heart, sad and lonely people, the summer's not over yet. A new Chapman image is now available, proving that arrests and deportation and various covert and alleged activities only serve to make a sexy lady sexier. How does she do her eye makeup like that? Could it be natural?

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Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Winner Looks Very Much Like Santa Claus, Indeed

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Things you didn't know: There is an Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Society. And they hold an annual Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Contest. Here is the winner of the 2010 competition, which was clearly steep. His name is Charles Bicht; he lives in Vero Beach, Florida; and it look him 12 tries to finally look enough like Ernest Hemingway to win. Is that trophy made entirely of chocolate? Whatever, pass the daiquiri. [via The L Magazine] [JDoll]

Will America Swap Sexy Topless Spy for a Bunch of Middle-Aged Nerd Spies?

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In the movies, when one country has some of the other country's spies, and the other country has a few captive spies of their own, sometimes they can work out a nice little trade in which all the spies return to their respective homes. Which sounds nice, but often comes to no good at all, especially when it's an attempt to "make it all just go away." That's exactly what the spies want, so they can keep spying! Also, in the movies, everyone is sexy, which is a great equalizer of sorts.

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Sexy Russian Spy Has Possibly Cuter, Definitely Less Russian Doppelganger

via New York Daily News
Though the Daily News promises us killer raccoons on their cover today (or at least 'killer' raccoons), it turns out they're only kinda-sorta-maybe rabid, and sick. Yawn. But the team makes up for that by digging in deep and locating a faux-redhead in our very own city who bears a passing resemblance to sexy Russian spy-person Anna Chapman -- whatever it takes to keep a story alive, right guys? -- and asking her what it's like to be ever-so-slightly mistaken for someone who might be working for Russia.

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The Real Michael Jackson vs. "the Jewish Jacko": Who Will Win?

via The New York Post
You've probably heard about the Jewish Michael Jackson by now. If you haven't, you can catch up on the details (here, here, here ... and here). But stay with us for a quick summary: He's an Orthodox Jew named Michoel Streicher who was sentenced yesterday to at least a year in prison for grand larceny because he stole $36,000 that he was supposed to use to buy a woman (a devoted fan!) a Torah for her dying father. And he calls himself Michael Jackson -- or, at least, the Michael Jackson of Orthodox music. Could it be? We undertook a case-by-case comparison of the two purported Kings of Pop.

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Questions That May Never Be Answered: Where Did Sexy Banker Debrahlee Lorenzana Get Her Pushup Bra?

Lorenzana shows one of her many pairs of Uggs on her Facebook page.
If you've watched a TV or seen a paper or glanced at a computer this week, there's no way you haven't heard about the hot-hot-hot lady banker who may have been too hot to bank. The whirlwind of responses to Elizabeth Dwoskin's article, "Is This Woman Too Hot to Be a Banker?" from this week's issue of the Voice have been incredible in both volume and variety. Take, for example, today's piece in the New York Daily News, which posits, "The question isn't whether Debrahlee Lorenzana was too sexy for her job. It's where did she get that fabulous pushup bra?"

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