PHOTOS OF THE DAY: The New York City Ent, Spotted Again at Penn Station

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@taborifica/Instagram
Have you seen this Ent? Last week, a tipster sent us a photo of a person on stilts dressed like a tree near the Upper West Side Whole Foods. This week, one of our readers spotted TreeBeard again, this time ducking the ceilings at Penn Station. @Taborifica tells us that Mr. Beard barely fit in the tunnels, and "was awesome and creepy" at that.

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Flow of Raw Sewage in Hudson Contained, But Area Might Smell Like Dead Rats

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Lay off the kayaking for a while.
The raw sewage seeping out of the North River Wastewater Treatment Plant in Harlem has been contained as of 9:30 p.m. yesterday. However, it's advisable to refrain from any activities in the Hudson until further notice, as the area "smells like a dead rat," according to someone quoted in this Times article. True? According to our sources on the Upper West Side, "it's too hot out to even check." Fair. However, while we sit around bitching about the heat, brave crews from as far away as Ohio have been scrambling to fix the plant; over a hundred city workers and out-of-state contractors had to spend all day repairing a structure that was basically leaking shit in 100-degree weather with little shade. What did you do yesterday?

[NYT via My Upper West]

[@_rosiegray]


Subway Rant: Keep Your Music in Your Ears, Not Ours!

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Every once in a while (okay, maybe more than that), something really annoys us. Often, it's on the subway, because, let's face it, that's where a lot of annoying shit goes down. We're not talking about blaring headphone seepage or full-body-against-pole offenses -- at least those assholes are oblivious. We're talking about the teenage/early twentysomethings who walk onto the train and treat their cell phones like an '80s boom box, openly blasting their ditties for the rest of our ears to bleed.

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New York's Sewer System Contains Glass Eyes, Sadly Lacks Gators

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New York City's sewer system: So many mysteries, so little time to explore them. Thank goodness the New York Times breaks it down for us. See, the city just got two awesome new sewage trucks, each with a 30-foot hose, that can vacuum up to three tons of debris and sediment daily. Yay. In other news, i.e., things you never knew about sewers and probably didn't really want to know:

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Elvis Presley Died Because He Couldn't Poo

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This is truly tragic. And drives home the point that regular bowels are not something to be ashamed of, people! Poo is precious!

Fair, balanced, fiber-eating Fox News reports in an exclusive (expoosive? Sorry) that the King actually died of constipation, not cardiac arrhythmia.

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Infographic of the Day: Of Lost and Marijuana Consumption Habits

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Apropos of nothing, other than the fact that yesterday was the Simchat Torah of Marijuana Smokers worldwide (4-20) and also the sixth-to-last episode of Lost, what follows is a scientific estimation of naming habits as related to Lost by marijuana consumers worldwide.

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NYC's Nu-Lesbian "Muffia" Posse: An Actual Real-Life Lesbian's Take

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Every trend piece starts with a writer identifying a group of people doing something that is supposedly new or unique. And every blog post about every trend piece tries to take it down by identifying either how

(A) The writer's just trying to provoke reactions.
(B) The trend being written about is old news.
Or (C) The trend simply doesn't exist outside of the article.

But rather than attempting to take down or understand New York Press writer Jamie Peck's story about "the New York lesbians making their mark on the city" -- hysterically titled "Meet The Muffia" -- we decided to talk to AN ACTUAL REAL-LIFE LESBIAN in New York, to see what she thinks about it.

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Things That Could Ruin Your Day, But Won't: Death by Asteroid

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Potential Proctologists Association campaign ad waiting to happen.
You know what asteroids and hemorrhoids have in common? Four letters at the end and the ability to severely fuck up one's day. You should enjoy today knowing that you missed at least one of them.

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