​A townhouse development in Tinton Falls, New Jersey, is facing an unprecedented scourge from above. Thousands of seagulls have appeared, Alfred Hitchcock-like, except that instead of terrorizing citizens and pecking them to death, they are terrorizing them with their poop. It's gotten so bad that children are being armed with umbrellas on sunny days, and, well, it sounds pretty damn apocalyptic:

Rooftops in Fox Chase are splotched white from the droppings, small animal bones litter backyard patios, feathers are everywhere and children who use the play equipment end up with white residue on their clothes.

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​Don't come between a security guard and his breakfast. The New York Post reports of a struggle earlier this morning between a masked assailant and a security guard outside of East Williamsburg's Late Night Deli on Metropolitan and Olive Street (the Post incorrectly reported it as Oliver St, which is on the Lower East Side and has a fairly decent Chinese place).

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Earlier, from Rob Delaney's Tumblr.

​As we noted a little while ago, comedian Rob Delaney is suing Kim Kardashian and some of her corporate overlords in the wake of her divorce from Kris Humphries after a measly 72 days of marriage. The co-defendants are Kardashian, Ryan Seacrest, E!, and Comcast. Delaney is serious about this.

We just got him on the phone for a few minutes to talk about his new initiative.

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​Jerry Seinfeld's short-lived reality show The Marriage Ref was not only so-so television; it also had the power to ruin innocent people. Or so claims Howie Kohlenberg, 47, who appeared on the show with his now-ex-wife Christine in 2010 and now blames Seinfeld for the dissolution of their union. Kohlenberg told the Post that because of the show, his wife became obsessed with fame and left him.

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​If you have any siblings -- or know anyone with siblings -- you probably know that as children, fights can erupt between the two as tensions are basically lifelong. And you are probably aware of the cliche when a parent walks in a ravaged room with two bleeding, hair-pulled, bite-marked children, and each one points to the other: They started it!

Well, that's exactly what's going on right now in wargames between North and South Korea. It's somewhat terrifying.

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​An interview with former-turned-current Gawker scribe John Cook -- fresh out of Yahoo -- had the following money quotes to deliver to his (former Radar co-worker) Jeff Bercovici at Daily Finance about Cook's experience with writing original news for search engine monolith Yahoo's news blog The Upshot and editor Andrew Golis. SHOTS FIRED:

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via the Post

Larry Goldstein

​Larry Goldstein, a grandfather known to neighbors for tutoring children and caring for stray cats, opened fire on two armed burglars, shooting one in the chest and sending the other running, according to the Post. Goldstein and his wife were sleeping upstairs in their Mill Basin home when they heard the burglars on the first floor at around 2 a.m.; that's when Goldstein armed himself with his licensed .38-caliber revolver, and went to battle in his kitchen.

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​It looks like Gawker's had a bit of an issue when it comes to repeating themselves (or others!) lately. Attribution issues: They happen.

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​Predictably nasty New York Post film critic Kyle Smith is now apparently telling his readers what else to do on the weekends. Not that he really should, but Smith obviously doesn't give a shit what Post readers are doing on the weekend, because he apparently wrote one entry just to be a cruel dick and smack-talk some of Brooklyn's Finest, and beyond.

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​Washington Post reporter Mike Wise was just suspended for a month because he Tweeted out a "fake scoop" about -- ironically -- the suspension of Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. The offending Tweet?More >>