Let there be records! Yesterday, the National Archives flicked on the switch for the 1940 census, marking the end of 72 years of confidentiality that held the records back from the public. In less than four hours, the site was paralyzed after being hit with 22 million visitors as people across the country clamored to fact-check their family's oral histories heard from grandparents everywhere.

With a database like this, New York in the 1940s is open to the public's eye. Think about it: you could find Truman Capote, James Baldwin and Allen Ginsberg (to name a few members of the city's cream of the crop at the time) if you put enough effort into it. But, here at the Voice, we found that the search  can prove to be tedious, long and unsuccessful if you only have snippets of information to toss into the browse window.

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The video above portrays the technique of YouTube poster MCOTOMOSHIROI, who has discovered how to motivate slow walkers to get out of his way. As this is relevant to our interests, we decided to see if his method was as successful on the streets of Manhattan as it was in Japan. The "MCOTOMOSHIROI Approach" involves only a bike bell and some disdain toward humanity. We chose the most annoying bell we could find, and set out to become a social irritant.

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​Cryos, a Danish network of sperm banks with clinics around the world, has stopped taking donations from men with red hair. The Telegraph reports that there is a low demand internationally for redheaded sperm donors. Cryos has received more donations recently than ever before, allowing them to be pickier than usual. Don't worry, redheads, you can still masturbate for fun.

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We could only make it about a minute into this thing, but perhaps you'll have better luck? The Tea Party apparently has comedians now, including this guy Eric Golub. Sample quote: "The left should love Sarah Palin. She has a beautiful, adorable special needs child... For that reason alone, the left should worship Sarah Palin and adopt her as one of their own. Because the leftist haters are an entire political ideology of special needs children." ...Ha. Who is he, though?

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​Um, so, for your lunchtime...treat...we're giving you this. Consider it an adorable-animals-in-trouble-slash-thank goodness-you-live-in-New York City, where things like this do not happen! In Nashville, Tennessee, the on-ramp to Interstate 65 South was closed down this morning, inconveniencing some, amusing others, after several canisters of bull semen fell off a Greyhound bus. Yep. What happened next is the stuff of blog posts.

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Do you remember Jazz Ison Sinkfield, the lady from Atlanta with the abnormally long but incredibly special 24-inch fingernails that, she told America, were going to make her famous and help her meet Oprah? Well, the Oprah thing didn't pan out (yet), but Jazz has been honored by reality TV. She is the latest star of the TLC program My Strange Addiction! Not everyone is that sort of famous. Jazz truly deserves this, as she "has over 19 feet in fingernails and values them so much that she considers them her babies. Her husband Antonio says that she pays more attention to her fingernails than to him." Congrats, Jazz!