​Yesterday, we reported on the Papa John's customer who was identified as "lady chinky eyes" on her receipt from a store on Broadway and 142nd Street. The above image comes from Papa John's Facebook account, and the terminated employee they refer to is reportedly a 16-year-old girl. Hopefully, this entire incident hasn't tarnished pizza's good name.

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​After a 285-day stint, I am abdicating my post here at The Village Voice. I'm going to work for Esquire.com, so I may -- as one commenter noted -- continue my work as a "a twentysomething angel of death." Yet, while I was here, I learned some very important things, and had some very memorable moments. I will never forget the following:

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​Have you heard? Today is our 55th Birthday! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY! As such, we've made a list of things you can buy us for it. After all, you know how much all of this costs you, the reader? Nothing. So you've obviously got the extra scratch lying around. Without further ado, here is what you should get and/or do for us:More >>

​Remember Steven Slater's impostor, the chubby blond man who fooled Page Six (who corrected today) and a whole boatload of partying gay guys? He's apologized for his actions! We obtained an email from "I'm-Not-Slater" to Daniel Nardicio, the Playgirl VP whose birthday he showed up at.

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Barton, looking entirely too jolly.

​Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. Jon Ward reports on The Daily Caller that Representative Joe Barton was told by House Republican leaders that "he would be stripped of his ranking member status on a key committee Thursday if he did not immediately apologize for comments earlier in the day accusing President Obama of a 'shakedown' of oil giant BP."

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