I know, I know. I should be out of here already. But since I'm already on this terrible, indulged roll, one more very, very important piece of business:
After a 285-day stint, I am abdicating my post here at The Village Voice. I'm going to work for Esquire.com, so I may -- as one commenter noted -- continue my work as a "a twentysomething angel of death." Yet, while I was here, I learned some very important things, and had some very memorable moments. I will never forget the following:
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Public Service Announcement for the Internet: if you didn't already know, the President of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev, has changed his Twitter username to @MedvedevRussiaE. That is all.
Previously: In Soviet Russia, DOG Name YOU! [FK]
In a recent British study (why do the Brits always get the best studies?), scientists found that women were way better than men at doing one thing while also doing another (a/k/a multitasking). In an experiment, 50 men and 50 women were given eight minutes to do three things: figure out some simple math problems, find restaurants on a map, and sketch a strategy for finding a lost key in a field. 
This baby is clearly a woman.
Congratulations, Rep. John Boehner of the Fightin' Ohio 8th! You're looking to be the next Speaker of the House. As such, we've decided to equip the American Political Media with 23 evergreen headlines in the inevitable event your already-emotional tenure in the U.S. House of Representatives gets any more interesting.
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No, people: Jimmy Carter is not dead. 
Blockquotes! Those magical parts of blog posts bloggers use to fill space with information they're too laze to re-purpose themselves: They happen. And sometimes, when bloggers like this one throw a paragraph in blockquotes, they're too blithe to notice the intensely "WTF" part of them they might've glazed over. In this case, it's NY1's education reporter Lindsay Christ, who -- while at the scene of the MetroNorth fire currently being extinguished -- delivered a money "WTF" moment for all to enjoy.
The blogger woke up on Wednesday morning around 9 a.m. and showered and put on clothes. He took the train into Manhattan. He once saw a young child eat a carrot alive on that train. He went to go buy the New York Observer from that newsstand on Astor Place and Third Avenue where they overcharge for everything but can't overcharge for the Observer or any other magazine really because of the cover price. He bought that week's New York Observer, which he does every week. He could also buy the Observer at the Starbucks at Astor Place and constantly thinks about doing so but doesn't. He wishes he could ascribe a political motive to this, but he can't. He is not a "political" person. He wishes he did better on his SATs. He opened the New York Observer and saw a profile of a "New York" "Literary" "It" "Boy" named "Tao Lin," that is written "in" the "style" of "Tao Lin."
The 2010 Tony nominations are out, and the yearly ceremony that becomes more and more designed to persuade people from anywhere but New York City to spend money on theater is soon to follow. The idea behind the Tonys is simply to get Broadway to appeal to the rest of America in a big, fancy show filled with Real Hollywood Stars who like theater too, you know. It's hard not to be cynical about them.
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