​Earlier this afternoon, Herman Cain delivered what was promised to be an important announcement about his presidential campaign. Short version: He quit. Long version: The glorious, unwavering, never-ceasing Plan B! (Not that Plan B). While Plan A involved becoming president, Plan B looks to be much more ambitious. It consists of two main parts: Endorsing someone else for president and launching a website that links to an old website. Oh, and there was a Pokemon reference in there too. Yep, it was that kind of speech.

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​Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek will speak at the Occupy Wall Street protests today at noon. Last night, the Occupy Wall Street twitter account said, "Supposedly Zizek is coming to speak tomorrow at liberty plaza. Only a rumor though." Shock Doctrine author Naomi Klein replied to their tweet with, "I'm with him now and it is true. Noon!" Our requests to the organizers for confirmation have not been returned, but their website lists his appearance on today's agenda for 12 p.m. It says he will be speaking "by the Red Thing" as part of the open forum.

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Grace Giardina

​"If you're the mayor's speechwriter, what's your job" after the Towers fall? You're going to start thinking about "how do you find something redemptive out of this attack? How do you try and encapsulate those emotions?"

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​Could you be Mike Bloomberg's next speechwriter? A source forwarded an email from head City Hall speechwriter Francis Barry to Capital New York's Azi Paybarah. There's an opening for you budding Ted Sorensens out there! Barry even notes that City Hall is "casting a wide net," so apply away:

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​New Governor Andrew Cuomo just wrapped up his inaugural State of the State address. Did you miss it? There was a lot of folksy humor and clapping and quasi-inspirational stuff about working together, and trying to make Albany function, and serving the people of New York instead of "special interests" and all of that other fun political rhetoric that always gives people a vague glimmer of hope at the beginning of the year before getting drowned out with bureaucracy, pandering, and legislators' childish antics. Find out what you missed after the jump.

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​Graduation is upon us, which means... commencement speeches will soon commence (indeed, some already have). The question on the minds of everyone who hasn't yet graduated: If you have a shitty speaker, does that mean you'll have a shitty post-graduate life? As someone who can't remember much about graduation beyond the horrible pastel suit I wore and the invigorating round of Girl Scout cookie shots that followed, I say... maybe.

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​Hundreds of speechwriters and their respective presidents have graced the White House generation after generation, looking to leave their indelible mark on history with a quote capturing the moment for ages to come. Joe Biden, the 47th American Vice President, has finally left his mark.

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​Remember that movie Labyrinth where David Bowie and a bunch of Muppets torture Jennifer Connelly with a giant maze and musical numbers? Apparently the White House is kinda like that.

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