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New York Jets starting (?) quarterback/perpetual do-gooder Tim Tebow is always trying to out-do-good his previous acts of do-goodery -- and yesterday was no exception.

There was a fairly horrific car wreck just north of Albany over the weekend that claimed the lives of two high school athletes and seriously injured two others. A driver of a second vehicle is alleged to be responsible for the fatal wreck, and he reportedly failed a sobriety test.

So where does Tebow fit in to this equation? Allow us to explain:

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The Augusta National Golf Club joined the 19th century yesterday when it announced that it's finally admitted two female members to the previously all-male club, which has many applauding the club's decision to finally end its ban on penis-ly challenged members.

Former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice and South Carolina financier Darla Moore will become the first female members to break through the old-boy barrier. Just so we're clear, it's currently 2012.

"This is a joyous occasion," Augusta National chairman Billy Payne says in a statement released yesterday. "We are fortunate to consider many qualified candidates for membership at Augusta National.... It will be a proud moment when we present Condoleezza and Darla their green jackets when the club opens this fall. This is a significant and positive time in our club's history and, on behalf of our membership, I wanted to take this opportunity to welcome them and all of our new members into the Augusta National family."

While Payne may find the club's decision to end its "male only" policy "joyous" and "proud," we find it to be more insulting and humiliating.

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For the last few weeks there's been rumors that Joe Posnanski's much discussed biography of Joe Paterno, which is published Tuesday, would contain a defense of the coach's actions - or lack thereof - in the Jerry Sandusky child sex abuse scandal. As it turns out, Paterno - that's it, the entire title - does indeed try hard to mitigate if not actually exonerate him.

Posnanski gets defensive early when he writes in his overture, "I'm aware that opinions have calcified so that many people have grown deaf to other viewpoints; with such horrible crimes being committed and alleged, it could not be any other way. But I have tried to be guided by the words in Walter Van Tilburg Clark's The Oxbow Incident: 'We desire justice.' And justice has never been obtained in haste and strong feeling."

First, I'm wondering by what Posnanski means by "alleged" crimes; certainly he could not be implying that the 45 guilty counts against Sandusky are somehow unfair, so he must be implying that a rush to judgment has somehow victimized Paterno.

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The phone number for New York Jets B-squad quarterback Tim Tebow is not 9-1-1 -- a fact a New Jersey man learned the hard way over the weekend.

Jason Slater, 28, has been charged with creating false public alarms for allegedly calling 9-1-1 three times on June 10, but refusing to tell dispatchers what his emergency was.

After the three 9-1-1 calls, authorities say Slater called the local police headquarters and -- claiming to be the president -- asked to speak with Tim Tebow.

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If you drank as much as David Diehl allegedly did, you'd probably be dead.

New York Giants offensive lineman David Diehl was arrested over the weekend after crashing his 2011 BMW into two cars in Queens allegedly while drunk.

According to Queens District Attorney Richard Brown, the 304-pound lineman's blood alcohol content was .182, which is more than twice the legal limit.

So, how much does a 304-pound lineman need to drink to achieve such a BAC? A whole friggin' lot.

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www.spike.com

The gayz have a new enemy -- and he's a 5-foot-6 Filipino who could probably kick your ass.

*UPDATE 2: Since this post was published, the "journalist" who claimed Pacquiao quoted a Bible verse calling for the death of all things homosexual has come clean -- he admits Pacquiao never said it. Get the details here.


*UPDATE* See our list of gay people who could beat the crap out of Pacquiao.

Lovable Filipino boxer/congressman Manny Pacquiao, it turns out, is a bit of a dick.

In response to President Barack Obama's announcement that he's now pro-gay marriage, Pacquiao says he doesn't agree with the president's position and that according to the Bible, homosexuals should be put to death.

In an interview with the National Conservative Examiner, Pacquiao quoted Leviticus 20:13, telling the publication that "if a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."

He went on to say that society needs to "put God's word first."

Pacquiao, apparently, missed church the day they explained the "Golden Rule."

(We reached out to Pacquiao to give him a chance to explain his idiotic comments. He hasn't gotten back to us yet. We'll let you know if he does).


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www.zazzle.com

In baseball, the understanding is that you never argue balls and strikes. In New Jersey, doing so could apparently get you punched in the face.

Oh, New Jersey -- you keep us so endlessly entertained...

The latest laughing stock to come out of the Garden State is 40-year-old Joe Bellamy, who started a fight with a baseball umpire over an allegedly bad pitch that the ump called a strike. The kicker: it was during a little league game, where the players are between 8 and 11 years old. The other kicker: Bellamy's outburst backfired -- from the sound of it, he got his ass handed to him by the 21-year-old umpire.

According to the Piscataway Township Police Department, about 8:50 p.m. Friday, cops were called to the little league complex to respond to the brawl.

Bellamy, who coaches the "Astros," was angry that umpire Dave Delnegro III called a pitch that hit the ground before it got to the plate a strike. Delnegro claims Bellamy stormed on to the field to argue the call.

Again, just so we're all on the same page, this was during a little league game, where the players are between 8 and 11 years old.
  
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Phil Mushnick: people like Jay-Z are responsible for the word "nigga."

*UPDATE* Mushnick defends himself further by claiming he's not a racist because he outed Marge Schott. Click here for details.

Since our prior post about New York Post columnist Phil Mushnick's column suggesting the Brooklyn Nets should change their name to the "New York Niggers," Mushnick sent us an explanation of his offensive column.

It's pretty lame -- he basically says we can thank rappers (read: black people) like Jay-Z for the term "nigga," a word he assures us he doesn't use. He says our suggestion that his (terrible) attempt at satire was racist is "wishful and foolish."

See his explanation below.

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UPDATE: Mushnick sent us an explanation of his offensive column. You can read it by clicking here.

Not exactly sure where to start with this one, so we'll just come out and say it: New York Post columnist Phil Mushnick used his Equal Time column this morning to suggest that the Brooklyn Nets should change their name to the "New York Niggers" because the decision to make the team's colors black and white were to stress the organization's new "urban" home in Brooklyn.

The story of Mushnick's blatantly racist attempt at satire is getting some attention in the blogosphere -- as well it should -- and we're more than compelled to give it a little more.

In addition to renaming the team the "New York Niggers," he suggest the team's cheerleaders should be called the "Brooklyn Bitches Or Hoes."

We're not making this up -- see for yourself here.

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www.noahunt.org

In case you're wondering why the U.S. Government is still pressing a case against Roger Clemens, think about it this way: years of work and millions upon millions of dollars have gone into investigations that have so far resulted in Barry Bonds being confined to his home for six months - and even that sentence is on appeal - and Lance Armstrong's case being discontinued (when that happens, the only explanation is that the prosecution knows it has nothing).

What it comes down to is Roger Clemens being the Feds' last chance to justify all the time -- and taxpayers' money -- that has gone into this ridiculous investigation. As Alan Dershowitz put it two nights ago on CNN, "Having gone this far after all that has happened, the government has to win the Clemens case. But they have to win fairly." Which means no more dirty tricks like the one they tried last summer when prosecutors played a tape, in which Democratic Maryland Representative Elijah Cummings made comments about Andy Pettitte's credibility, and reading an affidavit from Pettitte's wife, Laura, in which she said that her husband had told her that Clemens had confided in him about his use of human growth hormone.

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