Williamsburg's Dildo Spiderman Is Gone

Image via Twitter user @IRobbedJohnLo
A Spiderman and a large dildo who hung benevolently over a Williamsburg intersection since at least mid-January have been removed, the Daily News reports.

The Spiderman-dildo installation, or "Spiderman Dildo," as we like to call it, has been the subject of widespread hilarity for a couple months now. (The Daily News is apparently forbidden from using the word "dildo" in print, or showing a picture of one; for delicacy's sake, the tabloid calls the silicone part of the display a "large rubber penis." But let's be real here. That's a dildo.)

But this priceless work of art disappeared last night, and it looks like the sequence of events went something like this: Daily News spots Spiderman Dildo, snaps photo, calls Assemblyman Joseph Lentol, the neighborhood's 71-year-old assembly member. Lentol is not amused.

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Matthias Poehm, Hero, Establishes Political Party to Destroy PowerPoint

Everybody hates PowerPoint. There is no disputing this. The only thing anyone has ever learned from a PowerPoint presentation is the fact that PowerPoint is worthless. Most of us just weakly accept that we can't escape Microsoft's juggernaut and continue to live in a world where animated transitions with accompanying audio effects are a routine part of the workday. One man, however, has decided to take a stand. Ironically, this heroic stand-taker is Swiss.

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New York's Last Line of Defense From Zombies Arrested at Port Authority

A man who describes himself as a "zombie enthusiast" (the correct term is "zombie aficionado") was arrested at the Port Authority Bus Terminal on Tuesday. The Post reports that 25-year-old Christopher Rodger had a camouflage bag full of "swords, knives, burglar tools, night-vision goggles and hand-drawn blueprints." You spend hours on a cramped Peter Pan bus eager to get to The Big Apple to fight some zombies, but you can't even make it out onto 8th Avenue. Life!

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Man Smokes Weed, Feeds Bears, Gets Mauled, Makes Money!

via ilashdesigns
The following is the story of Brock Hopkins, and it is a story of hope. You're probably reading this in a cramped cubicle at a job you hate, constantly checking the clock to see when it's time to go back to the home you can't afford to see the spouse you can't stand. Brock's tale, relayed from the Daily Inter Lake, will inspire you. It will reassure you that a man can smoke weed, enter a bear enclosure without permission, get bit on the ass by a grizzly and earn $65,000 in workers comp.

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Henry Cavill, Bodice Ripper From The Tudors, Named as New Superman

It's been brought to our attention that a), there's going to be a new Superman movie, and b) the guy chosen to play Clark Kent/Superman is this dude Henry Cavill from that show The Tudors, about the reign of wife-executing British king Henry VIII. (By the way, anyone else think of this Eddie Izzard bit when watching that clip?) It's kind of hard to imagine a transition from pantaloons and bodice ripping to being a bird, or a plane, no it's Superman, but weirder casting decisions have occurred.

[Rosie Gray] [@_rosiegray]

This Spider-Man Musical Is Never Going to Open, Is It?

Stop trying to make the "Spider-Man" musical happen. It's not going to happen. The troubled production (formally called Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, with music from the minds of U2's Bono and Edge) is still in previews, but has pushed back its opening from the scheduled Jan. 11 to "sometime in February." We'll believe it when we see it.More »

Stephen Colbert Testifies for Congress After Being Asked Not To! (Video)

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Stephen Colbert just testified in front of Congress about the United Farm Workers' "Take Our Jobs" initiative, which argues for American citizens to take farm worker jobs over from illegal immigrants. And he just did it, after being asked not to.

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Spider Man: The Musical Sounds Like This (Video)

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The U2-scored, Julie Taymor-directed Spider Man musical, Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, debuted some set stuff, some costume stuff, some interviews, and some other stuff today on Good Morning America. They also debuted their lead actor singing a song from the forthcoming musical. And how does it sound? You're probably expecting this to suck.

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Crazy Scary Mystery Bat Disease/Drug Conspiracy Scaring Bats, Creatures of the Night Everywhere

Do you know any bats? Any Batmen, Batgirls, or Bat-Children? Tell them to be scared, aware, and on the lookout! As bats everywhere are being persecuted by...

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Breaking: Snoop Dogg, Humanitarian Environmentalist, Pimps Out a Sea Lion

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Via Metro UK/Bob Couey.
When he's not besting Chuck Norris by smoking weed, rapper/actor/father/husband/philanthropist/botanist Snoop Dogg is now besting everyone by pimping out not a "ride," not a goblet, not even a small child, but a sea lion. Yes: A Sea Lion. While other rappers are busy doing Other Rapper Things, the guy who once noted that it's "1-8-7 on a motherfuckin' cop" is now chilling with sea lions. For most other people, this would call into question their "street" credibility. For Dogg (né Calvin Broadus ), it is simply another frontier he has conquered. If you need to know any more about this story, you're missing the point. This photo is about to be framed and mounted above the Runnin' Scared news desk, as proof that even the most humble seal can be pimped out by Snoop Dogg, and even the most legendary rappers can make friends and "thug out" with a humble seal. Day: Made.

Here is a list of alternate headlines in the form of bad Snoop Dogg-related wordplay:

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