The New York Times' Luxury Rich Person Toilet Review: A Review

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The Numi, doing its thing.
At the New York Times, "All the news that's fit to print" sometimes translates to "All the toilets that are fit to review." And that includes the Numi, a $6,400 luxury toilet made by Kohler. The Numi is basically a spaceship for your bathroom. Only the finest commode will do for all the opulent rich one-percenters out there. It can do literally everything ever:

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n+1 Personals Is Starting to Attract the Inevitable Creeps [Update: The Interns Speak!]

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It happens with any online dating site. Any social network, even. After a while, the filters get less and less stringent and the real creepy dudes start leaking in and next thing you know, you're MySpace. Sad young literary magazine n+1's new personals site, only a few days old, is already attracting icky older guys, or at least guys who make themselves sound like icky older guys in jest (probably the latter). This ad is from "THE LETHARGIC READER BOY LUSTING AFTER COLLEGE-AGE GIRLS":

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Chelsea Residents Incapable of Moving Boxes a Few Feet

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White whine.
People in Chelsea were "perplexed" when 11 newspaper boxes (like Village Voice boxes) sat in the bike lane on Eighth Avenue for two weeks. Locals were confounded by the boxes, which are supposed to be on the sidewalk. Neighbors called 311 to complain. A neighborhood association contacted people in the area to organize against the "miscreant" boxes. Still, the boxes remained, taunting the innocent Chelsea residents with their obstructing presence.

Leaving aside the fact that this is the biggest non-event of all time, why didn't the people just move the boxes out of the bike lane? How much do they weigh, 50 pounds? 75?

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Please Welcome "Hampsters," the Hamptons Hipsters

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via New Yorker
The Hipster Lit shelf at Bookhampton.
Just when you thought the possibilities for talking about, classifying, and analyzing the ambiguous cultural movement known as "hipsterdom" were over, here comes a new one out of the Hamptons, of all places. This item in the New Yorker's Book Bench blog, about a "Hipster Lit" section in Hamptons bookstore chain Bookhampton, suggests the existence of a new strain of hipster: the "Hampster," or Hamptons hipster. Cue long sigh. Is this real, though? And what are they, these Hampsters? Kim Lombardini, the marketing manager of Bookhampton and co-curator of the Hipster Lit shelf, was able to shed some light. More »

Gansevoort Hotel Responds to Dirty Pool Claims, Insists There's No Human Waste

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The New York Post reported over the weekend that the "urban oasis" at the Gansevoort Hotel, "the perfect place for daytime sunning, a snack from 'Plunge' Bar and Lounge, or a quiet conversation in our landscaped garden," according to the hotel's website, is home to coliform bacteria, which could mean pee or poop, making it dirtier than five NYC public pools. People paying hundreds of dollars for a room -- or for drinks from the 'Plunge' Bar, for that matter -- were probably not so pleased at the results, and so the Gansevoort has shot back in a statement, posted to their Tumblr, claiming that, "We are proud of the product we provide our guests and without reservation believe that our hotel's pool is not only a great place to enjoy oneself, but that it is a safe environment."

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Gansevoort Hotel Pool Dirtier Than NYC Public Pools

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The swimming pool copy on the Gansevoort Hotel's website reads: "This urban oasis is the perfect place for daytime sunning, a snack from 'Plunge' Bar and Lounge, or a quiet conversation in our landscaped garden." It's also the perfect place for picking up some coliform bacteria, which indicates fecal contamination. More »

Royal Wedding Roundup: Guest List Confirmed, Beer Banned, Roses Planned

via Kate Middleton For The Win
The Most Important Wedding Of Our Time is less than a week away, and the official guest list and seating plan have been confirmed. Not a lot of surprises among the 1,900 lucky invitees: Elton John, David Beckham and Posh Spice, Guy Ritchie, other royals from around the world (elected heads of state usually don't get an invite). A couple unexpected choices in soul singer Joss Stone, who I literally forgot about for the past five years until this very moment, and Mr. Bean, who is reportedly a close personal friend of Prince Charles.

The question on everyone's mind (right?): How and where will these people be seated?!

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It's National High-Five Day. Here Are Our Best and Worst High-Five Moments.

Did you know that it's National High-Five Day today? Have you high-fived your children/coworkers/friends/enemies/bosses/strangers? Have you recounted your favorite high-five moments, like the time you high-fived that dog on the street, and it was either totally bad-ass or the dog bit you on the palm and you had to go to the hospital and get rabies shots? Well, we have. This is partly because it took us a long time to accept high-fives (why do people high-five, anyway?), but now that we have, we have embraced them fully, high-fiving them with both our hands and our hearts. Here are Runnin' Scared's most monumental high-five moments. We've left them anonymous, as it seemed for the best.

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The Royal Wedding Cocktail

Yes, there's a cocktail to commemorate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Of course there is; there's a royal wedding everything. It's a punch made with gin, that most British of liquors. The recipe, according to People (keep in mind this was created by "mixologist Dan Warner" who owns Beefeater gin): More »

Guns For Girls Who Need Girlier Guns: A Review

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Don't you love when condescending "girly" marketing even extends to firearms! Our friends at the paper of record's revamped weekend mag have a handy roundup of some of the most cloyingly "feminine" guns on the market these days, as four states now allow people to carry concealed weapons without a permit. So for those who want to carry a gun in their purse that is as cute as the purse itself, here are a few options, reviewed by yours truly:

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