Please Don't Leave Us, Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen

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Oh no. Nononono. Say it isn't so. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen have finished their double dose of Broadway, starring in back-to-back productions of No Man's Land and Waiting for Godot. And that means they're leaving us. Leaving us. Why would they do such a thing? And what can we do to stop it? Fair warning: we will consider kidnapping.

The Stewart/McKellen dream team closed their last Godot/No Man's Land performance on March 30. (Our critic was only sorta impressed with the show, noting "neither piece offers a particularly incisive interpretation of the script." However, she added, Stewart and McKellan's joy in performing "infects the audience like a virus of sheer jubilation.")

But the fun isn't quite over: to celebrate their time on Broadway together, the two men released a series of insanely wonderful photos on Twitter of themselves doing touristy things: a stroll down Coney Island's boardwalk, posing next to the Wall Street bull's, er, hindquarters, standing hand-in-hand in front of the Stonewall Inn, and, as you can see above, bro-ing out with their arms around each other in front of our old building on Cooper Square.

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"He Said They Would Be Killed in Iran": The Woman Who Videotaped the F Train Assault

The Voice was able to reach the woman behind the video showing a pretty stunning display of old-world homophobia and some cut-and-dry assault on the F train. (We are withholding her name at her request for safety's sake, since the assailants haven't been named.) We were also able to get original, unedited video of the event, which shows one of the assailants lunging for the camerawoman as she taped them. Aw, is pookie a wittew camewa shy?

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'We Care About New York:' David Lynch On Littering In The City

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Some of the city's anti-smoking advertising might be disturbing/gross, but no public service announcement creeps us out quite like this one that the Atlantic Cities alerted us to earlier this week. It's David Lynch's 1991 take on why we shouldn't litter, and it features ominous music, an unsuspecting child, careless adult litterers and intense close-ups of rats that give them oddly humanoid qualities. Watch video after the jump.

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World's Coolest Guy Ever Gets NY Times Obit

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Wondering what will end up in your obituary is really nerve-racking to think about. What will people say about you when you're dead and gone? Everyone hopes that they sound like a good person, at least like a nice guy or something. But an ocean rower has just set a new standard for obituaries, because he's a total badass. John Fairfax died at the age of 74 and is now immortalized by having the coolest New York Times obituary of all time. He was an ocean rower who managed to cross the Atlantic by himself in a small rowboat. Three years later, he traversed the Pacific with his girlfriend in tow (they later broke up). He spent the end of his life making a living off winnings in baccarat, or as the Times says, "the card game also favored by James Bond." But that's just the tip of the iceberg really -- we didn't even get up to pistol fights and his attempted jaguar suicide yet.

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Santa Is Real, Track His Location Around The World All Day

If you're alone this Christmas Eve and you have a bit of an obsessive streak, then it's time to plant yourself behind your computer with a gallon of eggnog and study the NORAD Santa Tracker. Wondering where Santa is right now? He's hovering around the Philippines and steadily moving westward. NORAD, the very real North American Aerospace Defense Command, says that they use four systems to track the location of St. Nick -- radar, satellites, Santa cams and fighter jets. But how the hell did a real life bi-national aerospace defense organization become responsible for tracking the world's most notorious home invader?

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A Hundred Boomboxes Will Rove the Streets of New York City in January

Newmindspace, the brains behind street pillow fights and epic light saber battles in the park, has a new event in the works, in conjunction with Tom and Gary of Decentralized Dance Party. This event requires something slightly unusual: As many boomboxes as possible. Kevin Bracken of Newmindspace tells us they need "about 100 boomboxes" -- they have 10 so far, though one, impressively, created by Anthony D'Onofrio, is the size of a bicycle -- for an FM-transmitter party bringing together hundreds of pirate radios through one FM transmitter, which acts like a mobile radio station. He says, "We get hundreds of boomboxes and tune them to that signal, so instead of a giant speaker there are 100 different sources of sound, creating one large sound."

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This Typewriter Also Mixes Cocktails

We're replacing our laptop with one of those babies, except instead of weird colorful liquids ours will mix booze.

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Manhattan Bridge Will Star in a Far-Out Light Show Next Week

A preview:

Trippy. But why?

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4 Great Places to Watch the Fireworks on the Fourth

Since 1958, the Macy's Fourth of July fireworks display has been a New York City tradition. The fireworks were originally set off on the Hudson, but in 1976 they moved to the East River. Last year, they returned to the Hudson to celebrate the 400th anniversary of Henry Hudson's exploration of the river. This year, the display will be on the Hudson again. It starts at 9:20 p.m. and should last 26 minutes. The theme of this year's show is "Gift of Freedom"; the event will celebrate the 125th anniversary of the Statue of Liberty. After the jump, we've got some suggestions on where to watch the fireworks.

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Liu Bolin, Chinese Contemporary Artist, Camouflaged Himself in the Houston St. Mural

Today, the Kenny Scharf mural on Houston and Bowery was transformed into a multimedia piece when Chinese artist Liu Bolin camouflaged himself in the painting. Bolin's performance was part of his ongoing series "Hiding In The City," in which he paints himself so that he completely blends in with his surroundings and then someone photographs him. We walked down to the mural to see if we could spot Bolin, but we're pretty sure he either wasn't there, or his camouflaging is really, really good. DNAinfo had better luck and snapped some great shots of the artist at work. Oddity Central reports that Bolin intends the series as a protest against the Chinese government's persecution of artists; in 2005, his studio was shut down. Speaking of Sharf's mural, on Thursday, it will be replaced with a piece by the Inside Out Group called "Lakota, Dakota Nation." [EV Grieve]