Mnemonic Devices to Help You Remember Daylight Savings is Ending

As we exclusively reported yesterday, daylight savings is ending late tonight (technically tomorrow morning) at 2 a.m.. On the plus side, you will get one more hour of sleep. Unfortunately, this will be at the expense of a full season's worth of sunlight, vitamin D, and your sanity. Nonetheless, if you don't set your clocks back an hour, ACORN will come after you and send you to one of President Obama's dreaded Time Education Camps. How to remember this vital information?

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Science Determines Why You Hate the Sound of Nails on a Chalkboard

At every minute of every day, it seems, scientists are busily working to cure cancer and save the environment and make better robots who can do our jobs for us, and also to figure out why we hate the noise fingernails scraping a chalkboard so much. Fortunately for those breathlessly anticipating that last bit of information, a group of researchers from the University of Cologne and the University of Austria have uncovered the reason, or what they think is the reason, because, well, you can't be too sure about these things until years and years of study have been completed, and even then, who the hell knows? But what they think is that the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard is so abhorrent to humans because of HUMAN EARS. Yep. It's your ears' fault.

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A Long Time Ago, We All Talked Like Yoda

Today in news you can use (to amuse yourself while you learn something, too), there is evidence that early man (and woman) spoke like Yoda. Meaning: Not necessarily full of wisdom, but using a subject-object-verb (SOV) word order -- for example, "I you like" or "Me cookie want," as opposed to the Cookie Monster's "Me want cookie." Researchers also believe that all human languages came from one form, spoken in East Africa some 50,000 years ago, and that one form was Yoda-speak. Yoda-speak, that form was?

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How Many Cops Does It Take to Get a Squirrel Out of a CVS?

A wild squirrel walked into the CVS at 116th Street and Lenox Avenue on Monday morning and then just stayed, pigging out on delicious mixed nuts for four days, reports DNA Info. This is not only notable because there's video, but also because the squirrel entranced many a staffer and even random onlookers, none of whom could catch him. By this morning, he'd made it to the window, where he got stuck, perhaps from all the mixed nuts he'd been eating.

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Subway Conductor Tells You What to Do If You Fall in the Tracks (and Other Transit Real Talk)

A recent IAmA on Reddit is fascinating, at least, if you're kind of a subway nerd like we are. Or even if you're just a commuter and not a nerd at all! A user named Fusoyaff2, who says he's been a subway conductor for New York City Transit since spring of this year, has answered some of the most pressing questions the average commuter has about subway transit. Are there mole people? What does "sick passenger" mean? Like we said, it's fascinating. We've excerpted some of the most interesting bits, after the jump, but the whole thing is well worth a read.

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Skywriting Freaking People Out Yesterday Was Just Art

Yesterday, an unseasonably lovely day, at some point around 4 in the afternoon, people suddenly started noticing messages in the sky in Lower Manhattan -- things like, "Lost Our Lease," "Last Chance," and "Now Open." The moderately terrifying messages -- last chance for WHAT, exactly? -- were attributed to Occupy Wall Street protesters by some, possible terrorists by others, but really, they were sponsored by Friends of the High Line, supported in part by public funds. Because the messages were, less terrifyingly, art!

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10 Easy Etiquette Lessons for New Yorkers

If you see this guy, you may kick him.
The way we live in New York City is different than the way "other people" live, we know that by now. This means, sometimes, that we are sophisticated and disgustingly superior -- we do things faster, more efficiently, with a dash more style and pizazz, or just better -- than the average person. (Disagree if you must, but you're not going to win.) But we also, we're going to have to confess, do things worse. And with the advent of cell phones in subways -- starting Tuesday on several lines, be prepared and forewarned -- there is bound to be a lot more doing things worse. After the jump, a reminder of 10 ways in which we are not exactly perfect. And tips on how to be more so!

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15 Neighbors You Will Have in New York City

Whether you've lived in New York for one year or 50, you will have encountered at various points the phenomenon of the New York City neighbor, that extending to anyone who lives next door, next door-next door, on the other side, upstairs, downstairs, somewhere mysteriously ensconced in the deepest confines of your building and forever untraceable, and yet, still, you can hear them talking!, outside your window and in the next apartment over, and so on. We are a city. You are surrounded by people, and that is true even when you're at home -- in bed, making dinner, eating an old, cold bowl of macaroni on the couch, doing yoga, or tending to your Chia Pet. You are surrounded. Following is a list of 15 people you may experience living next to, at some point or another, during your stay here. This is by no means conclusive. We are all originals.

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Broken Subway Door Chimes: A Mini-Investigation

A YouTube poster recently uploaded this video, remarking on the "new weird door chime sound" he heard and recorded while riding on one of the 7 Train's R62A cars. It prompted our curiosity. Was this a new, weird, but sort of pleasant, door chime sound from the MTA?

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How to Prepare for a Hurricane in New York City: A Semi-Official Guide

Well, that earthquake yesterday kind of took us by surprise. Though, in retrospect, we wouldn't have done it much differently, particularly as it only lasted about 10 seconds. Maybe we would have enjoyed it more, knowing what we do now, being something of an "earthquake expert." (Shut it, California.) Maybe we would have been funnier. But there is a new thing to fear and anticipate mocking snarkily quite literally on the horizon, and that is...a possible hurricane. Hurricane Irene. How best to prepare for a hurricane in New York City? We will tell you.

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